December 28, 2010

Is It Better to Wait before Having Sex?

News, Research No Comments

slut-shaming for pageviews

The questions of whether couples should wait before having sex, and how long, and if it even matters, are robust perennials for news organizations, eager for traffic. Every year, a good handful of studies come out to feed the slow news days, and blogs trip over themselves to regurgitate the information, delighted to tap into fears or hit the jackpot of all things web: a slut- or virgin-shaming comment war to send those pageviews through the roof.

We’re no better. But instead of being snarky about the fact of course a Brigham Young University study found that having sex within the first month of dating led to the worst relationships, we’re going to focus on a compelling aspect of the discussion.

“What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run,” researcher Dean Busby told LiveScience.

Past research has shown sex, specifically orgasm, enables bonding. Oxytocin, released during orgasm, is directly related to generosity and trust. With this in mind, we have to wonder: could early sex — early, dynamite sex — make it difficult, if not impossible to coolly assess a partner’s characteristics and values to ensure they are compatible with our own?

Entirely possible.

Worry not! We have found the middle ground! Enact an intensive screening period over social media for all potential suitors. Six months to a year should be enough to determine whether the person’s values, goals and communication skills are up to par.

Upon deciding a suitor is a match, go out. Feel free to skip dinner and get right to business. Reverse Asian cowgirl. Trust us.

Staff

We're your creatures, putting to words things to inform you, amuse you, educate you and move you. Be nice to us, we already have a cruel mistress in our editrix. We say that with love, of course, we do love her whip.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...