March 9, 2010

Under Surveillance

Daisy, Diary 1 Comment

Sir M sent an email to me with a subject line that made my heart leap: “New Rule.”

The message explained that I am to keep on my webcam on at all times when I’m at home so he can see if I’m there when he logs onto his computer. This way, he can easily drop in on me when he wants to. I’ve never used my webcam for personal communications, only for business calls, so I set up a new account for his eyes only with great excitement.

Had any other man told he he’d be constantly monitoring me on webcam so he could peek into my private life, I’d have been really angry. But with Sir M, it makes sense in the context of our Dom/sub relationship. The webcam gives him another way to dominate me that extends beyond our sessions together. It’s a subversive thrill to think of him dropping in on me and being ready for him any time. Sir M has earned the gift of my submission and so I gladly offer him access to my home life and my secrets.

On camera

I can’t see him on webcam — he does not have one. I really don’t mind this one-way communication. Being submissive can mean being on unequal footing with him if he chooses. He uses the audio to speak with me and I stare at his frozen avatar on screen. We never actually speak on the phone so this is the best way for him to stay present.

I adapted quickly and found that I really enjoy having the webcam ready for him to eavesdrop on my life. In fact, one day recently he told me his electricity would be off all day and not to bother with the webcam, and I was genuinely disappointed!

I use the webcam on my laptop because I can move it to different rooms with as I putter around my apartment. When I’m cooking I set it on the dining room table and forget about it. He doesn’t care if I’m in unglamorous sweats or in underwear (or less) so I feel perfectly comfortable with keeping the camera on. If I’m not alone and don’t want him dropping in, I simply turn it off.

Sexy time

Once I realized the power I can have using the webcam, it became even more compelling. I found I could excite and tease Sir M remotely by removing my clothing on camera nonchalantly during normal conversation. We can be chatting about my day and my shirt suddenly lifts up to reveal a breast as the camera pans down to the nipple. I can be talking to him on webcam and put the laptop down on the couch so the camera points between my legs, as I happen to be wearing a miniskirt with no panties.

Instant Panty-cam! Or I may be straightening up the house naked in anticipation of his “visit” via webcam. I just love the pause and surprise in his voice when he discovers my naughtiness and encourages more of it.

Once I’m topless I lick my index finger and roll it around my nipple to get his attention. I’ll pull on the hoop piercings in both nipples, making sure he can see. And when things progress he has me “entertain him” — meaning I must masturbate on camera for him. The laptop comes in really handy because I can bring it into the bedroom and really entertain him.

I have gotten completely lost in these sessions playing with myself as he takes firm (remote) control — narrating and pushing me to do outrageous things. When he yells “Cum for me bitch!” it’s as if he is with me in my bedroom. My hands work more furiously because I want to please him and cum hard for him. This also helps train me to be able to have forced orgasms to the sound of his voice.

I’m sure Sir M would love to watch me have sex with J via webcam but I know J wouldn’t like this idea. (J is my on-and-off lover who has seen me through some wild times in my sexual evolution.) I’m an exhibitionist at heart and I’d love to have a sex partner who would be into having Sir M watch us go at it.

(If you think that’s you, send me a tweet!)

Special guest appearances

Lately I’ve gotten more brazen with the webcam. I’ve been leaving the webcam on when friends visit, but not always mentioning it to them. Sir M once dropped in on a visit from one of my close friends, who came over for dinner while I was speaking with him. I was vaguely aware of his monitoring, but it didn’t affect our evening at all. Our conversations sounded like a raunchy episode from Sex and the City — we talked about men, online dating, cock sucking, menopause, shoes, weekend plans and of course gossiped about friends. He listened curiously for a while until we moved the laptop to make room for dinner and the audio was drowned out by music.

I imagined him at home in his office, leaning back in a big leather office chair, possibly smoking a cigar and watching this home-made reality show of my apartment. I like imagining him at home because in real life I’m not allowed to look him in the eye and it’s hard to get a complete vision of him. In my imagination, at the other end of my webcam, I can look straight at him without any consequences. I imagine him with a smirking grin, pleased that I’ve brought him another pretty girl to look at and more secrets to share.

Naked blogging

Even now as I write this on my laptop I know he may drop in and watch me and that’s exciting. Why exciting? It’s funny to me that someone would even be interested in me enough to watch me at home doing nothing. It feels so wrong to willingly give up my privacy to anyone. Of course, being a pervert, I am naturally drawn to and turned on by things that we are told are wrong.

In the future I’ve promised him a naked blogging session on webcam featuring myself and another female blogger. After all my duty is to serve and please him and in doing so, I hope to provide lots of pretty girls for him to look at and meet on webcam. He’s so persuasive he can probably talk some of them into meeting his flogger.

This is definitely not going to turn into a Bravo series The Real Subs of Los Angeles! However I’m enjoying doing this reality show for one.

Daisy TraLaLA (@daisytralala) is a saucy Angelino kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties. Check back every Tuesday for posts from her journey to the most divine surrender.

Daisy

Daisy TraLaLA (@daisytralala) is a saucy Angeleno kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties.

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