February 8, 2012

The Weirdest Google Searches of 2011

Culture, Feature, web 2 Comments

Weirdest Google queries of 2011

We’ve never particularly cared much for site traffic. Sure, we care about your feedback in comments and e-mails, but we were never the sort of blog to give a hoot about “the numbers.” We’ve seen what gets big numbers: animated gifs featuring cats. We’ve no interest in cats, and given the number of people who follow us on social media to keep up with what we’re posting, neither do you.

We do, however, nevertheless have a dusty Google Analytics account, which we must confess became the source of great amusement over the weekend. Behold, the weirdest searches to result in some Sex and the 405 goodness:

vulva documents
balloon vagina
corvette labia
burn bra porn
Gumby porn
dolphin handjob
dr seuss wank
dora the explorer sex
i left my butt in san francisco
the erotic review escort arrested with your information
tiny dicks
dildo mold
labia of the day
tom wolfe gets fucked
cant remove dildo
nightguard for sex blow jobs
shoe ass insertion
dire sex
mastrubating with a hotdog
naughty crucifix
paraphilia gasmasks
fat guy food fuck
sandwich i’d like to fuck porn
slutty noms
handjob for science

The pressing questions that lead people here:

pussy where are you
how big does my penis have to be to have sex
do you make more money on your period as a stripper
is “pussy hair” flammable
do smart people watch porn
how to call demon for sex
is jared leto asexual
what is a fuck me shoe?
what is an emo on craigslist?
what is the best sandwich to have sex with

What is with all the sandwich sexing? Is that some kind of new thing that we missed?

Staff

We're your creatures, putting to words things to inform you, amuse you, educate you and move you. Be nice to us, we already have a cruel mistress in our editrix. We say that with love, of course, we do love her whip.

Paul

Wow! In a previous life I worked for a large public library and once during a shelf check found a (slightly stale) ham sandwich being used as a bookmark. Other unusual bookmarks colleagues have discovered include used tampons and a condom (did not hear whether it was used or not…)
jaime lacson

weird.. but in china 5000 years ago theirs a Sex Manual a guide for a Chinese couple

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About

Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...