March 2, 2010

Subs’ Night Out

Daisy, Diary No Comments

Sir M started our last session by pulling up my dress, taking out a paddle and whacking me harshly several times on my behind. I shrieked from the combo of pain and surprise. Usually he warms up with light spanks before such imparting hard blows but I was being punished.

My punishment

“This is your punishment for running out of the room last week without my permission.”

I had recently lost my nerve after an intense impact play session and ran out of the room to demonstrate my anger.

Sir M continued, “Now, is ‘OUCH THIS HURTS’ a safe word?” No. “Is ‘THAT’S TOO HARD’ a safe word?” No.  “Is ‘STOP, YOU MOTHERFUCKER’ a safeword?” No. “So what’s your safe word?” Yellow. OK, the point was made and I won’t fuck up like that again.

“I could have beaten the hell out of you that night but I chose not to,” Sir M said.

I understood that this punishment was symbolic -– to show that I can’t get away with such behavior — and could have been much worse. After that, I was in good standing again with Sir M and he adjusted his beatings so they didn’t go beyond my pain threshold. As a result, he was able to immediately take me to a much deeper level.

Desiring pain and pleasure

Each encounter with Sir M sends me into another realm of glorious release, but leaves me wildly desiring more of his pain and pleasure. I am addicted to his sweet torture. So I was more than a bit disappointed when he told me I’d be off duty that Saturday night. I could have gone to the dungeon party without him but, as an uncollared female, I wouldn’t have his protection from being badgered by all the single Doms. Here was my opportunity to try something different.

I’d heard of Bar Sinister, a Hollywood club that combines a goth and fetish aesthetic with industrial and 80’s dance music. Sir M gave me permission to go. And who better to accompany me on this curious quest but Sex and the 405 Editrix-in-Chief, AV Flox.

Dressed to thrill

Going to the club was a perfect opportunity to wear my latex dress. I’d worn it to a dungeon party a few weeks prior, and realized how impractical it was for such an event, since it takes a lot of effort to wiggle in and out of that dress. (Practical dungeon wear must be easy to take off, since I’m needed to strip naked and redress throughout the evenings.) For my “subs’ night out” with AV, I put on my hooker heels, lined my mouth with the most intense red lipstick and headed to her hideaway.

When I arrived we gawked at each other, both dressed in short black sleeveless dresses (hers was microscopic) and black heels with bare legs. Sweet! We were headed to the “Fang Banger’s Ball” but neither of us could conjure up a goth or vampire look. AV shunned wearing her Twilight necklace. We were going more for the “whip me, please, and then fuck me” type of look.

Bar Sinister is housed in a classic Hollywood building and has several different rooms but still feels intimate. The crowd provided some interesting people-watching, mainly youngish Goths with bad hairdos, clothes from Hot Topic and giant, chunky platform boots. Goth-zombie Go-Go dancers with wan complexions, smudgy raccoon eye makeup and shredded lingerie gyrated to synth pop in the main room. An adjacent room with a smoky fountain in the center had huddled masses of Goths smoking and dancing.

The Playroom

After a quick orientation of the first floor we headed upstairs to the Playroom. There are a few play areas and more people sitting around the perimeter chatting and hoping to watch some light BDSM scenes. I was approached by one of the guys working there, and he asked if I’d been before, wanted to play, etc. I told him that I have a Dom (Sir M) and can’t play with other Doms unless they request permission from him in advance.

“Are you collared?” he asked — the BDSM version of wearing a wedding ring.

“No,” I answered.

We watched as another Dom did a very quick session of spanking and lightly flogging a fully-clothed girl leaning up against a gothic-style cross. Coming from a hardcore dungeon scene, this seemed really tame to me. Last week I was watching young girls get bound and gagged with duct tape over the baby binkies in their mouths, tied to each other with rope and taunted with a very sharp knife by a particularly twisted sadist.

The Dom at Bar Sinister was doing an artful job of two-handed flogging, twirling them like a dancer. AV looked on hungrily — the other Dom recognized this and offered to flog her. For the sake of journalism(!) she accepted readily.

AV gets flogged

Those of you who follow my tweets may have seen my exclamation of amazement when AV ripped her dress off, flung the tiny bit of fabric to me to hold onto, and stepped up to the flogging post. One of the Doms ran over with electrical tape to cover her nipples since nudity isn’t allowed there. That made for a nice visual — AV in a tiny black thong with black crosses on her nipples.

He first spanked her with both hands, palms flexed back for more impact. I couldn’t see her face but she seemed to wilt and I imagined she was floating in space with this experience. He would alternate the spankings with intermissions of caresses, checking in with her and making sure she was responding properly. Spanking in that manner makes a nice muffled smacking sound, very different than the sharp thwack of a single-handed flat palm spanking.

He pulled out a single flogger with soft synthetic strands making up the fall. At first he softly traced the silhouette of her back with the flogger to get her acquainted with it. He started twirling it, the ends barely kissing her back and buttocks. Then he moved in so he could strike with more impact. Every eye in the room was upon them, and some of the crowd in the back yelled at people in front to sit down and not block their view.

The session wasn’t long but was evidently effective. He finished up and carefully led her down from the flogging post. She fell to her knees with legs spread in the appropriate submissive position. He grabbed a bottle of water and tipped her head back. Her lips spread open as he carefully poured water down her throat. Hydration is important after these scenes. She looked blissful, like a grateful pet that’s finally been fed its meal.

Afterward she redressed and we munched heart-shaped cookies. She tweeted and I whisked her back home. This encounter was a tease but it satisfied her cravings, at least temporarily. Overall it was a highly successful subs’ night out!

Daisy TraLaLA (@DaisyTraLaLA) is a saucy Angelino kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties. Check back every Tuesday for posts from her journey to the most divine surrender.


Daisy TraLaLA (@daisytralala) is a saucy Angeleno kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties.

More Posts


Add our page on Google+!

Keep up with everything we're covering right in your stream. Please note this page is limited to users 18+.


Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


Send us news!

AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
Robert Fischer

Eros and Desire Scholar:
Dawn Kaczmar

Scientific Consultant:
Jason Goldman

East Coast Liaison:
Jackie Summers

Barbie Davenporte

Read about the contributors we've had over time on our staff page.

Follow SAT405 on:


Hosted by (mt)


Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...