November 1, 2010

Review: Sex and the City XXX Parody

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Like Sex and the City (but with sex)

Our editrix was a huge fan of Candace Bushnell’s original column and also enjoyed the show while it ran, despite the fact it bore very little resemblance to the column (by far a darker and more cynical thing, and one that audiences would have detested on sight, even though the pilot made a valiant attempt at it).

Having absolutely zero expectations that the parody would resemble either of the two — or even the two movies that followed — we sat down to watch and were remarkably surprised at how well-written the screenplay by Bensen Herst and Lee Roy Myers was. Myers has proven himself a master of the “sitcum” and it shows: his directing bears a striking resemblance to the original Sex and the City show.

The plot revolves around Carrie being torn between staying in Manhattan with her friends or taking off to L.A., the land of Ed Hardy t-shirts, to chase after long-time love Mr. Big. Meanwhile, Samantha finds Smith is cheating with a co-ed, Miranda and Steve are cruising Craigslist for threesome partners and Harry is trying to convince Charlotte to try anal. You know, the usual. Sort of. With real sex scenes.

Carrie is played by Kayla Paige, who likes the show and identifies most strongly with Carrie, two things that show in her delivery of the character, down to the classic Carrie line, “I couldn’t help but wonder…” Nothing squeamish about this Carrie, however. She takes it like a champ with a tinge of sweetness, even. To quote O, the Dolce and Gabbana stylist Carrie meets on an episode of the original television show: “Me likey.”

Miranda is played by Zoe Voss, a bit of a new kid on the block (only four months in at the time of shooting), she hails from the fashion industry. Despite her lack of familiarity with the show, certain parts of Voss’ scene with Coco Velvett and Tommy Pistol are reminiscent of the episode where Miranda has a crisis about whether she would ever be selected to partake in a threesome. (We think the screenwriters could have exploited that for a bit more background, but that’s just nitpicking.)

Charlotte is played by Bobbi Starr, whose favorite character happens to be Charlotte “because she’s a WASP!” she says, laughing. Her Charlotte is so good, it’s almost horrifying to watch her get anally impaled. Then we realize she’s being anally impaled and get right back to masturbating. Some fun movie trivia: Starr did her first girl-boy scene ever with Evan Stone who plays Mr. Big in the film.

Samantha is played by porn veteran Brittany Andrews. This is actually Andrews’ comeback film — she retired 2008. Sex and the City features her first-time anal scene (she always gives, never receives); girl-on-girl, which she hasn’t done since 1998; and the only condom you’ll see in the film! Andrews is a huge supporter of condom usage in porn and one of the few stars who has been able to demand condom-only scenes. Cherry on the sundae? She delivers those cheesy, slutty Samanthaisms flawlessly.

Ralph Long plays Harry, Tommy Pistol plays Steve, and Coco Velvett plays Annette, the girl from Staten Island that Steve and Miranda meet on Craigslist to join them in a threesome.

Smith and the girl he cheats with don’t actually have sex on camera. Another shocker: the delivery guy at the very beginning of the film doesn’t get blown or fucked on camera, either, though it’s suggested. First time ever in a porn. We’re see what they’re doing. It’s about letting the characters we feel invested in get some. Very sensitive.

As for the sex — incredibly realistic. Well, for us, anyway. Sorry if your sex lives aren’t as awesome. No, just kidding, we’re talking about how much making out there was, petting and general playing with hair. More attention was paid to clits than we have ever seen in a porn. We have to say, though, as far as realism goes: we know Charlotte has a landing strip. Miranda should be the one with the bush.

Just an opinion from the die-hards. All in all, an excellent parody. If you’ve ever craved the sex in Sex in the City, this flick’s for you.

Left to right: Zoe Voss, Kayla Paige, Brittany Andrews, Bobbi Starr. Photo courtesy of New Sensations.

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We're your creatures, putting to words things to inform you, amuse you, educate you and move you. Be nice to us, we already have a cruel mistress in our editrix. We say that with love, of course, we do love her whip.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...