March 10, 2010

So You Wanna Pay for Pussy? Step 1: Where to Find It

Hobbying, Lessons 7 Comments

I don’t know for sure how you got to this point, and I’m not here to judge. You have your reasons. Maybe your wife stopped having sex with you, or you just need variety or your dad never took you fishing. I don’t know and I don’t care. I don’t know you. I’m not your wife, your shrink, I’m not Jiminy fuckin’ Cricket.

What do I care if you wanna fuck hookers? You have your reasons, that’s good enough for me.

This isn’t about the “why”, this is about the “how.”

The relentless craving for pussy is keeping you up at night. And awake, too. But you haven’t abdicated all the decision making to your little head, you still have a shred of sense left in your big head, and something in what you call your conscience tells you that there’s danger ahead. So you don’t know where to begin the hunt for paid poon.

If you’re like most guys you’ve found yourself driving through the seedier parts of town, wondering if that girl in the mini skirt at the bus stop is a hooker or not. (Pro tip: are you in the Valley? Then chances are, yes, she is.) But you know better than to proposition some random girl on the street. Don’t you?

The first place almost every neophyte john starts is Craigslist. You’ve read all the sordid news stories about how it’s the new gathering place for virtual hookups and sex-for-hire. But you’ve also read the sensationalistic news stories about yet another Craigslist prostitution ring broken up by intrepid detectives. And the last thing you need is to get caught your first time out. So here’s some tips to get you started and hopefully keep you safe.

Sure, by all means, check out Craigslist. Check out Backpage.com. They both have adult services sections with escort ads, and have local editions for pretty much everywhere. But know that they are the low end of the spectrum when it comes to escorts. Baby steps. We’ll work you up to the high-dollar hotties soon enough, but you have to learn to walk before you can run. You’re more likely to come up against a bait & switch scam using those services than others. That means that the hot chick in the picture isn’t necessarily the same girl that’s gonna answer the door. You have to learn to do some homework.

If you’re cruising Craigslist or Backpage, you supposedly know enough about the Internet to do a basic Google search. When you find a girl you like, the first thing you need to do is Google her phone number. If she’s who she says she is, the search will come back with her other ads on other sites. Check those out as well, they may lead you in another direction. They’ll clue you in to whether or not this is really a hooker or a vice cop setting up a sting operation. There are also review sites like The Erotic Review and Escorts.com which will give you a glimpse into what you might expect if you book time with this girl.

You’re gonna be worried about getting ripped off, arrested or worse. So take precautions before you head out. Chances are, the cops aren’t interested in you, particularly if you’re doing your cruising online rather than on the Boulevard. Legit girls will usually have reviews. Not every escort has reviews, however, and there are perfectly good reasons why not. So don’t panic if you don’t find reviews. Some well-established escorts don’t allow clients to write reviews. But they will have web sites.

There are sites like The Erotic Review or Escorts.com, where those stalwart whore-mongering explorers who came before you have paved the trail for you. My advice to you (which you won’t listen to) is to read those sites, but don’t register, become a paying member or get involved in the discussion forums.

Be prepared to be hung up on if you use any inappropriate language. This includes any mention of any sex act. Don’t be stupid. Don’t call up some random girl and ask if you can come over to fuck her. And you’re not going to be clever and bypass that restriction by using coded language like “GFE” or referring to roses or kisses or candy instead of dollars. Everybody knows why you’re calling, no one needs it spelled out. Be respectful when you call. Be respectful when you show up. And for fuck’s sake, wash your balls before you go.

So, now you’ve narrowed it down, you’ve found a girl you like and you’re ready to take the plunge dick-first into a rented pussy. In Part Two, I’ll walk you through the “how much” part of the “how to.”

Go to Part Two.

Hooker Addict (@hookeraddict) has wasted much of the last few years wading through the local escort/hobbyist message boards. From finding a hooker to making the date, not getting ripped off or worse; this is about paying for sex. With actual cash. A few years ago, he became fascinated with streeetwalkers, but now the game has changed. Moved indoors, online. He’s just Some Guy, with no skills and no game. And he still gets more pussy than you.

AV Flox

Your humble editrix-in-command.

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  • http://viviandasilva.com/ Vivian Da Silva

    I passed your blog on to a custy of mine stationed in Afghanistan. He’s a young John and so full of questions about etiquette ad behavior. It’s really great to see men teaching men how to conduct business ethically and efficiently with Pros. Building a mutual respect only makes getting together even more exciting, no? Thanks again!

  • Eric Ludzenski

    Ha! Choice quote: ‘Pro tip: are you in the Valley? Then chances are, yes, she is.’

  • http://whorelover.blogspot.com/ Gerard

    Nice article,Hookeraddict.
    I have a similiar blog up and running about my whore-mongering here-

    http://whorelover.blogspot.com/

    I have yet to include sections on finding hookers as I am divided over whether to make it specific to London,where I live and mostly experience my whoring,or include an international guide (If I did,that info would be second hand information)
    but actaully locating them in London is incredibly easy,and they are essentially legal here,most arrests are for trafficking.exploitation,selling on the street,kerbcrawling,etc.
    Escort agencies,brothels and massage parlours are by and large allowed to advertise and operate as long as they don’t cause trouble or noise,increase the crime rate,lower the tone,or there is suspicion of drugs,trafficking,exploitation,etc.
    if they run things cleanly and professionally,they pretty much operate without interference.
    Undercover cops target the Pimps and Madams who don’t run things like they should.
    And yes,I will include an etiquette section in future on my blog,but this stuff really should be common sense.
    The Hooker is providing a service,yes,but as the Service Provider,she thus sets the Terms & Conditions of her service.
    She will take the lead and guide you through it,just be honest and tell her what you like.
    Shit,Hookers are the only goddamn girls you CAN be easily honest with sometimes.
    If a guy dates a girl,it may take months or years for him to get comfortable enough to tell his partner he likes a finger up the ass,and even then,he runs the risk of her getting turned off or pissy at him.
    Guys,Hookers have probably heard your fetish before,they just ask for more money or say no,then you may negotiaite or compromise,but don’t push it,thats the basics.

    Gerard

  • Pingback: So You Wanna Pay for Pussy? Step 2: How much is that pussy in the window? | Sex and the 405

  • Jimbalconi

    im 55 had 2 wifes, dam good looking, and tierd of looking

  • Thagoonie54

    I can careless I just feel good Doing it pussy feels taste smells good

  • reese

    I won’t that wet pussy

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...