March 31, 2010

So You Wanna Pay for Pussy? Step 2: How much is that pussy in the window?

Hobbying, Lessons 5 Comments

You’ve done your homework, you’ve searched the ads on Craigslist, Backpage or any of a slew of hooker message boards and you’re just captivated by those lace-clad boobs staring back at you from the screen. So how much should you pay for pussy?

If ya have to ask, you can’t afford it.

Truth is, you can find many lovely ladies at all service levels in all price ranges. But, in my considered professional opinion, you always get what you pay for.

When the topic of price comes up on hobbyist discussion boards (and it always does) someone is bound to trot out the tired old analogies. They compare hookers to cars, to meals, to stores. All of that misses the mark. And it’s insulting to boot. They always say something along the lines of “well, whaddaya want? A Lexus or a Toyota? A burger or a Porterhouse? Wal-Mart or Tifanny’s?” I mean really. You’re actually going to compare a girl to meat? And you wonder why they think you’re crass. As an aside, I’ll just note that while I have known hookers named Lexus and Tiffany, I have to this date never met one named Porterhouse.

You’re not buying a product, you’re contracting with someone to provide an extremely intimate personal service.

OK, dollars and cents. As a general rule, girls advertising on Craigslist or Humaniplex tend to be the lower end of the spectrum. Usually in the $100 to $150 range. You’ll find some for a bit more, a bit less, but that’s the general range. For your hundred bucks, you’re usually going to get limited service. It’ll tend to be the get in/get off/get out type of service. Often, these are the girls that are working out of some slightly seedy chain motel in the Valley. They’re the high volume providers. Clock watchers? Hell yeah. They may say that the fee is for the half hour service, but you’ll be outta there within 12 minutes of dropping trou. If that’s what you want… if that’s what you think the experience is all about… then that’s what you’re gonna get for a hundred bucks.

Once you move up to review sites like The Erotic Review or Eros.com you’re moving into a pricier neighborhood. But you can expect greatly improved levels of service.

When you start getting into the $300-$600 range, you’ll be more likely spending time with ladies who offer the GirlFriend Experience. That one term more than any other is a subject of fierce debate in the hoooker/john world. What exactly does it mean? Definitions vary, and we’ll get into those more in another installment. But for now, suffice to say that you’re paying for a more well-rounded, total experience. You’ll be spending time with a lady who tends to be a lower volume provider. That is, she usually is only seeing a small number of clients a day. This gets to be important… if you want a girl who’s had time to shower between clients. If that kinda thing isn’t important to you — well, it should be. You made sure to wash your sweaty balls before going to see her, didn’t you? Didn’t you? Well, a high class, GFE escort has made sure she’s fresh and clean for you, too.

From there, you start getting into escorts who offer multi-hour appointments, ladies who schedule overnight appointments, who have dinner date appointments, who are willing to travel to you in distant cities. All of that costs money, of course, but again, you get what you pay for. If that’s the level of service you want (and why shouldn’t you? An erudite man-of-the-world like you deserves nothing less) then start saving your money now. Overnight sessions, you can expect $2500 or more. If you’re interested in booking time with an established porn star (and there are a few out there who see clients) plan on spending upwards of $1000 per hour to start. Is it worth it? Hey, you’ve watched plenty of porn, you think that shit is easy?

So here’s the mechanics of the thing, and these rules hold true pretty much across the board at all price points. Rule number one: this is strictly a cash business. Sure, you can find escorts and agencies that will accept credit cards, but c’mon. You really want a hooker to have your credit card number? No matter how much you trust her, that’s a recipe for disaster. But have some fucking sense. You’re not gonna walk into a hotel room and hand some strange girl a wad of cash. Be discreet, mutherfucker. Have the cash (and it better all be there) in a small envelope, maybe put it in a thank-you card. When you get to the room, place the envelope in plain view on the nightstand. Sometimes she’ll take it into the bathroom. This is so she can count it without you watching (and so she can hide it so you can’t snatch it back).

If you’re really classy, maybe a small gift bag and card. But if you’re gonna do it that way, do it right and actually put a small gift in the small gift bag. Just sayin’.

Do not, under any circumstances, say anything to her about the money. “Hey, here’s your three hundred bucks cash, let’s get to fucking,” is a sure way to get your ass thrown out. Minus $300. It’s all about discretion.

So far, I’ve been working on the assumption that you’ll be visiting her at her location, whether her home, apartment or hotel. We haven’t gotten into the difference between incall (you go to her) and outcall (she comes to you). Both have their pros and cons. But that’s Part Three.

Read Part One.

Hooker Addict (@hookeraddict) has wasted much of the last few years wading through the local escort/hobbyist message boards. From finding a hooker to making the date, not getting ripped off or worse; this is about paying for sex. With actual cash. A few years ago, he became fascinated with streeetwalkers, but now the game has changed. Moved indoors, online. He’s just Some Guy, with no skills and no game. And he still gets more pussy than you.

AV Flox

Your humble editrix-in-command.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Facebook

Add our page on Google+!

Keep up with everything we're covering right in your stream. Please note this page is limited to users 18+.

Featured

Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

Masthead

Send us news!

Editrix-in-Command:
AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
Robert Fischer

Eros and Desire Scholar:
Dawn Kaczmar

Scientific Consultant:
Jason Goldman

East Coast Liaison:
Jackie Summers

Arch-Nemesis:
Barbie Davenporte

Read about the contributors we've had over time on our staff page.

Follow SAT405 on:
Twitter
Facebook

RSS

Hosted by (mt)

About

Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...