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Why Men Cheat

March 26, 2010 Cheaters, Culture 1 Comment

Cheating is so in this season. The rags and TV can’t shut up about it. We haven’t heard anything like this at Sex and the 405 since the Tickle Me Elmo.

This is from an anonymous piece on April’s Esquire:

I’ll tell you why I cheat. I need to. Infidelity makes me remember things. The details that expand to fill my life (my upcoming performance reviews, the aches and pains of training, the recovery of my 401(k) ) and the ones that deaden it (my guilt, my smug self-satisfaction, my fake epiphanies about my progress in this life) —all of that drops away when I look down at the naked spine of an unfamiliar woman, twisting slightly in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming onto the sheets of a Hampton Inn in some nameless suburb. This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule, and set of mores I pretend to obey. Against better judgment, against every lesson of hindsight and every shard of wisdom that comes with age, I have no regrets in that moment, because I am naked, or without pants, and I have chosen to be there. I have voted by my presence, declared it, and I feel the blood moving in me again. So it’s the blood. That’s who I am. That’s why men cheat.

We heard that when our editrix read this piece, she cried. We don’t entirely believe it, but, wow, imagine that.

Image and article from Esquire.

Emo on Craigslist Missed Connections

March 25, 2010 Culture, web No Comments

We at Sex and the 405 occasionally search the Craigslist board for little tidbits you might find amusing. We’re pretty jaded assholes, so rarely do we have any offerings for you, but every once in a while, we find something worth bringing back.

Maybe we’re lonely, but this ad made us unnecessarily emo.

For heaven’s sake, people, can’t you try to keep it slutty and light? We’re trying not to notice how tragic we are to be scouring these boards at four in the morning, kthnx.

Ad from Craigslist.

Maxim’s Cheater’s Guide

March 25, 2010 Cheaters, Lessons No Comments

We happened to stumble on some notes for one of our editrix’s columns in the newsroom today (at least we hope they’re notes for a column, and not something she’s actually using in her personal life, in which case, whoops!). It’s a summary of Maxim‘s March issue’s article: “SEX: CHEAT & DON’T GET CAUGHT. Women Tell You How.”

“Famous men aren’t the only cheaters. According to a recent MSNBC poll, one in five people in a monogamous relationship has a side piece – and that figure includes women. Yet you never hear about female betrayal in newspapers and tabloids. Why? Because we’re better at hiding it.”

The article lists seven tips for avoiding exposure, summarized as follows:

  1. Switch the gender: Everyone snoops, even if it’s only a casual glance when a text comes in, so change the gender of your paramour to avoid suspicion. And change the phone settings if you have a phone like an iPhone so the content of texts don’t pop up as you receive them. “If she sees a message from ‘Steve’ that reads ‘I want you inside me,’ you could have some ‘splainin’ to do.”
  2. Hackproof your life: If you have had the same password since there was e-mail and use it for all your sites, you are leaving yourself open. Rather than changing your password (changes can be so suspicious), the best bet is to create a whole new account for your affairs. And you need to remember to log out of it every time you use your computer.
  3. Be available: There is no tip-off like dropping off the face of the earth, so be good about answering your phone, even if it’s just to send a quick text to let them know you’ll call at another time.
  4. Take it to the grave: People talk. Resist the urge to share. When it comes to affairs, there is no “sisterhood” or “bro code.” It’s every man and woman for themselves.
  5. Choose wisely: “Perhaps the single most important factor in having your affair go unnoticed is choosing a girl who won’t – or can’t – throw you under the bus.”
  6. Don’t date your fling: “Fuck, don’t date,” the article quotes Mara, a 30-year-old financial adviser. “Don’t meet up for coffee, don’t confide in each other about your lives, don’t even exchange numbers if you can avoid it. Just fuck.” The article adds: “Emotional involvement makes you more susceptible to slip-ups.”
  7. Don’t overcompensate: “You should preserve the status quo in your relationship. Don’t suddenly start lavishing your girl with gifts.”

Curious? InfidelitySupport scanned the article. Click to read page 1 and
page 2.

Article via InfidelitySupport.

Facebook To Blame for Syphilis Outbreak?

March 25, 2010 Culture, Health, News, web No Comments

First, it was divorce. Now, researchers at National Health Service in Britain have decided that Facebook is behind the fourfold increase in cases of syphilis in Teesside, Durham and Sunderland.

Director of Public Health Peter Kelly told the Telegraph that social networks are “making it easier for people to meet up for casual sex.” Hence the increase in cases of syphilis.

As Mashable reported, the connection between the sexually transmitted disease and Facebook is a stretch. We at Sex and the 405 stand behind their suggestion that institutions in the affected areas need to shift their focus from assigning blame and work on educating the public about sexual health.

Information via Mashable.

Can’t Say “Vagina” on TV

March 24, 2010 Advertising, Culture 4 Comments

Kotex has decided to tackle ridiculous advertising for tampons with a brilliant campaign called U by Kotex.

This campaign is the first step for Kotex in addressing how we talk about menstruation and vaginal health as a society.

“Society has created shame and embarrassment around periods and vaginal health, which restricts honest dialogue and information sharing and compromises a women’s ability to take ownership of her personal care,” Aida Flick, Kotex brand director, tells Marketing Daily. “With the launch of U by Kotex, our goal is to change the conversation and to help women understand and be comfortable with their femininity and bodies.”

Not so fast, Kotex. Major television networks are banning the ad due to the use of the word “vagina.”

According to the Guardian:

Even when the company substituted “down there” for vagina, two [of the three objecting major] networks [which have not been named] still wouldn’t run the ad, so the company was forced to drop the idea altogether. That provoked Amanda Hess, author of The Sexist blog, to observe: “Now, the commercial contains no direct references to female genitalia – you know, the place where the fucking tampon goes.”

An executive for Kimberly-Clark, the owner of Kotex, notes that US TV networks have no such compunction about references to “erectile dysfunction” in prime-time ads for Viagra and Ciallis.

The New York Times reported that the campaign — produced by the advertising agency JWT for tampon brand Kotex — was “a bit too frank” for U.S. TV. Merrie Harris, global business director at JWT said: “It’s very funny because the whole spot is about censorship. The whole category has been very euphemistic, or paternalistic even, and we’re saying, enough with the euphemisms, and get over it. Tampon is not a dirty word, and neither is vagina.”

The video on this post is the amended version, which debuted on TV last week.

Information from the Guardian.

Must Have: Berlin Red

March 24, 2010 Art, Culture, Fashion No Comments

New York City’s Neue Galerie and Estée Lauder have come together to create a work of art you can wear: fire-engine red lipstick inspired by the painting Portrait of Dancer Anita Berber by Otto Dix.

“Berlin Red” invites the mind back to the sensuality of the 1920′s Berlin and the “life without dilution,” as Dix described it. There is nothing quite like mixing beauty, art and history.

Naturally, our editrix sent out an order as soon as she heard about it (that’s right, this is totally free product placement, imagine that).

“Life’s a cabaret, baby,” she says. “Let’s kiss.”

Image of painting from Information from Vanity Fair, via @the_red_shoes.

Autocorrections That Win

March 23, 2010 Culture, lolz No Comments

From “I want to suck your duck” to “go to he’ll,” our iPhones sure know how to kill the moment. Our favorites come from Twitter’s Kevin Thau and our editrix herself.

To give some context to this one, PR pro Nicole Jordan was inquiring about what was taking our editrix and Causecast correspondent Melissa Rowley so long to arrive at a get-together. (Noming is lolspeak for eating, FYI. Oh, and lolspeak is the language of the cat macros. Oh, never mind, we tried.)

Got more lolsy auto-corrects? Send them in!

Prom Canceled After Teen Requests To Bring Same-Sex Date

March 23, 2010 Freedom, News No Comments

Things are getting heated in Mississippi, where the American Civil Liberties Union is suing in the U.S. District Court to force the Itwamba County school district to sponsor a prom they canceled following the request of a lesbian teen who wants to take her girlfriend to prom.

The teen, Constance McMillen, had requested permission to bring another girl to prom and wear a tuxedo in December. McMillen was forced to ask because same-sex dates have been banned in the past.

Schools Superintendent Teresa McNeece and school board Chairman Eddie Hood testified before a judge that the discussion to keep from sponsoring the event had started before McMillen’s request came to their attention, due to liability issues such as alcohol- and drug-use at a school-sponsored event.

They did admit McMillen’s challenging the ban on same-sex dates had caused disruptions at the school and that this had had some bearing on the decision to call off Itawamba Agricultural High School’s prom on April 2.

District officials say their decision to cancel is suitable “after taking into consideration the education, safety and well being of our students.”

ACLU attorney Kristy Bennett disagrees and told the court that the district was violating McMillen’s First Amendment rights and that it was the decision to cancel the prom — not McMillen’s request to bring her girlfriend — that caused the disruption at school.

McMillen herself says the district’s decision has resulted in hostility toward her on campus.

U.S. District Judge Glen H. Davidson is hearing the case and while he has not specified when he will rule, he has noted how pressing an issue this is. We’ll keep you posted.

Information from WDSU News.

I <3 Cock

March 23, 2010 Daisy, Diary No Comments

Days later my body was still humming from an amazing, beautiful and profound experience I had the honor of sharing. As these things usually go, it was of the moment, totally unexpected. I was suspended in time, blissed out and unaware of anything in the world… except the cock in my mouth.

Somehow, one rainy afternoon we were cooped up inside with another plan entirely. I smoked some pot, got more comfortable, and soon was spilling all kinds of sexual confessions. I completely opened up to him about my sexual history — which has been quite extensive. We found we shared some common ground, including hyper-sexual appetites and the desire to explore new realms.

Soon he’d thrown a pillow down on the floor and instructed me to kneel on it so I could be treated to the pleasure of sucking his cock. I’d been rather cock-deprived and teased with sexual stimuli for some time so I threw my all into the task and enjoyed every second of it. His cock was still flaccid when I grabbed it with my left hand. I kissed the head to honor it, tasting a big drop of his pre-cum. The first lick kick-started my raging libido into high gear and soon I was like a wild animal. Sucking, licking, kissing it, rubbing it all over my lips and face and hair; rolling it on my breasts. With my face smashed against his soft groin, I took it deeply and hungrily.

Cock ecstasy

I already know this about myself. I love cock. Truly love it. I could never be a lesbian because I’d miss it so. I’d miss the feeling of the smooth tip of the head touching the back of my throat, I’d miss the smell of it, the taste of it, the changes in mood and personality of each cock I encounter. I can’t imagine life without cock. I love the energy it transmits and the inspiration I draw from it. I love the effect I can have on it and the way I can control a man through sucking on his cock.

On this day, however, he was in the driver’s seat. He exercised extreme self-control to make it difficult for me to get his cock hard. He didn’t want to give it up to me easily. I had to work hard for my “gift” of a nice thick, solid cock. I focused all my thoughts and energy into the organ in my hand, ready for the challenge ahead.

Sometimes he’d grab me by my hair and face-fuck me forcefully — but not so violently that it would incapacitate my jaw. Smart strategy, because I couldn’t have sucked him for four hours as I did if he’d forced me too hard. In this instance, being face-fucked was an intense turn-on for me and each time I’d feel my juices flowing and pussy getting really wet. I kept hoping he’d notice how wet I was.

Sexual electricity off the grid

My nipples cried for attention as I was increasingly aroused. They craved his lips and his tongue and my pussy craved him even more. But he intentionally withheld his lips and cock from my genitals like an expert tease. And that turned me on further. So I’d suck his cock even more fervently and work myself into a frenzy.

This escalated as we fed off each other’s sex energy. Sometimes I find the sexual tension of being denied sex can be just as titillating as the actual act. It forces that intense sexual electricity to course through my body with no release, so it increases and grows exponentially stronger. Eventually the sexual current raging through me is so tangible that it radiates out through every pore in my body. It is incredibly powerful, feels like I’m on fire, and fuels me on to greater heights. And in this case, to greater cock-sucking.

Trancing out to cock

He’d get really hard and I’d get even more turned on. I had many periods of going deeply into a blissful trance state, where everything else in the universe melted away but the cock. It feels like a nearly religious experience to be in that state. I become a passenger in an incredible journey and the cock guides me to new heights. It’s a beautiful thing for me and for the receiver.

I’m not sure how long or how many times I stayed in this state but I do know from later being told that I was oblivious to everything else going on. I was somewhat aware of his finger working its magic inside me, coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of me by massaging my G-spot in just the right way. And of course that inspired me to suck his cock even more passionately.

I like to carry on with cock worship for many hours and eventually my worship transcends the cock and expands to include worship of the entire body, sometimes extending to the mind and spirit. I find that the cock is a portal for the sensual body and the sexual energy, an entry point for the profound energy exchange. After all, as I suck and worship, I am responding to the way he reacts to me, the way he grabs my hair and breast for leverage and forces his cock down my throat, the way he is always fully in control, and the way this makes me happily submit to him.

Squirting and gagging

After several hours of this he prodded me to ejaculate. I gushed so much liquid, it made a wet spot on the bed three feet in diameter. This excited him and hardened his cock again. He pushed further and got me to cum, squirting what seemed like buckets of ejaculate, over and over and over. I amazed myself — didn’t even know I was capable of this.

He’d give me short breaks and then bark “down bitch!” until I got his cock deep into my mouth again. He enjoyed shoving it all the way to the back of my throat to see if I’d gag and break out into goose bumps. That also gets the really thick saliva flowing, and it’s a wonderful lubricant for his cock. Each time he hit the back of my throat, my pussy would clench around his finger. His cock was thick and fleshy and filled up my mouth perfectly. And I continued to have orgasms that spread out through my body and beyond with concentric rings of warmth.

His orgasm was intoxicating

After many frenzied hours of this sex play, he decided it was time for him to cum. Although my eyes were shut I was aware of a beautiful white light of energy beaming from his groin into my mouth and down into my heart. My heart sent that white light of energy back into him. Everything glowed and I felt transported beyond the physical to a place of beautiful calm.

He clamped my head in both hands and went in deep, ejaculating straight back in my throat. I was so connected to his orgasm that I shuddered and screamed, writhing with a full-body orgasm. Time expanded and this continued as he pumped more cum into my throat and I responded accordingly. He tasted delicious. I kept his cock inside my mouth, I didn’t want to let it go and neither did he. I was profoundly grateful to have received his essence and wanted to prolong the experience for as long as possible.

At that moment, I felt unconditional love and respect for his cock and that’s a magnificent feeling. I quivered and twitched as multiple little orgasms continued to radiate out through my body.

And so we went on, unrelenting. It would have been easy to just keep up this frenzy for a few days, abandoning all responsibilities and shutting off phones. But we eventually had to tear ourselves apart.

Daisy TraLaLA (@daisytralala) is a saucy Angelino kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties. Check back every Tuesday for posts from her journey to the most divine surrender.

Thinking of You: Zagat for Penises

March 22, 2010 lolz 1 Comment

We here at Sex and the 405 think it’s vital to let people know how much you adore them, so we’ve created a special new section showcasing the best of the web when it comes to showing your love.

This week’s jewel comes to you via someecards, the epitome of cool when it comes to e-cards.

Click on it to send it to someone you dig!


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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...