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Thinking of You: Your Breasts

April 26, 2010 lolz No Comments

We here at Sex and the 405 think it’s vital to let people know how much you adore them, so we’ve created a special new section showcasing the best of the web when it comes to showing your love.

This week’s jewel comes to you via someecards, the epitome of cool when it comes to e-cards.

Click to send one to someone you dig!

Happy Boobquake!

On Friday, we told you about Boobquake, a movement to stir the tectonic plates with the power of our scandalous bodies. This Monday, we’re active, spreading our promiscuity in lingerie all over the newsroom and neighborhood Starbucks. But since most of you won’t get to enjoy that, here’s our editrix, let her quake your world:

Want more? Our editrix did a little round-up of photos from the event just for your viewing pleasure over at lalawag.

Oh, yeah. You’re welcome.

Did any of you join in the #boobquake?

UPDATE: BlagHag’s Jen McCreight, who started the movement, posts about the response to the boobquake effort.

Image from the Flox archives.

The Apple App Store: 1984′s Junior Anti-Sex League v2.0

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard that Apple banned Pulitzer-winning satirist Mark Fiore from its app store for ridiculing public figures (um, he’s a satirist, like, hello). Apple CEO Steve Jobs has since called the ban a mistake, but he’s not done ruining the fun for everyone.

Last week, TechCrunch published an e-mail from Jobs sent to a consumer asking when Apple became the moral police. Jobs’ response said: “we do believe we have a moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone. Folks who want porn can buy and [sic] Android phone.”

Assuming this email is legit, this isn’t the first time Jobs has suggested users try Android if they want porn. Earlier this month, during a Q&A session after the iPhone 4.0 OS event, Jobs said: “You know, there’s a porn store for Android. You can download nothing but porn. You can download porn, your kids can download porn. That’s a place we don’t want to go – so we’re not going to go there.”

We at Sex and the 405 find it incredibly ironic that Apple is pulling this nonsense. Remember the Apple 1984 commercial? Junior Anti-Sex League, anyone? Who’s Big Brother now?

Bastards.

Image from the Apple 1984 commercial, superimposed on an image of an iPhone screen. Information from TechCrunch.

Safe Sex for Geeks

April 24, 2010 Culture, lolz, SciFet No Comments

While you’re out on the town havin a blast, we here at Sex and the 405 are surfing the web so that you don’t have to. Don’t you just love it? Now check out this little jewel we dug up from the bowels of Tumblr.

I will not be your father!

A clearer concept has never existed.

Via Parisbunny.

Hetero Bareback Anal Out of Control in NYC

April 23, 2010 Health, News No Comments

Fascinating! A recent study conducted by New York City’s Department of Health recently revealed that women are having lots of unprotected anal sex!

The New York City Department of Health immediately issued a statement to remind bareback anal sex enthusiasts of the risks:

Anal membranes are easily damaged during sex, facilitating the spread of infection. Past studies suggest that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk than vaginal exposure. But the New York City findings suggest that women are less likely than men who have sex with men to use condoms during anal sex. The figure is just 23%, according to the new report, compared to 61% among men who have sex with other men.

We here at Sex and the 405 wonder how prevalent condom use is among men and women who engage in anal sex here in Los Angeles. Take care of your bodies, orchids. You only get one and there are things cosmetic surgery can’t address.

(How’s that for a Friday downer? You’re welcome.)

Information and graph from Animal New York, via @cthon1c.

To Boobquake or Not to Boobquake

April 23, 2010 Culture, Nudity 3 Comments

This week, a leading Iranian cleric decreed that women who dress sexy cause earthquakes by spreading promiscuity — which apparently is pathogenic, you guys!

“When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase,” the prayer leader, Hojatoleslam Kazim Sadeghi, said in a video posted on YouTube.

Enraged, Jen McCreight (@jennifurret) over at Blag Hag decided to put this claim to the test:

In the name of science, I offer my boobs. On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. [...] I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble.

So, who’s with me? I may be a D cup, but that will probably only produce a slight tremor on its own. If you’ll be joining me on Twitter, use the tag #boobquake! Or join the Facebook event!

Sounds like our kind of party. But there are other implications as well, as Beth Mann at Salon has pointed out:

Unfortunately, it seems to be turning into something else, with many men chiming in, with their “show us your tits” camera-ready attitude. Women on parade again … sigh. Since when did we “stick it to the man” by wearing low-cut shirts or short shorts? [...] Women should be able to wear what they want. That’s a given. Women should be able to sexually express themselves how they see fit. [...] Unfortunately, we live in a world that sees that kind of freedom of expression as a photo opportunity or another cheap thrill. All parties must be on board and in celebration of the cause in a way that doesn’t include lasciviousness, latent female hatred or sexual over-saturation. If not, then all we’ve got is “Girls Gone Wild” with a cause slapped on it.

To bookquake or not to boobquake, that is the question. Which side are you on?

Image from the Flox archives.

Some News Can’t Be Unbroken

April 22, 2010 Diary, Raymond No Comments

She was a virgin.

A sweet southern school teacher. She was 23, and had natural D-cups that were full and soft, but definitely not too soft. These are the things that fantasies are supposed to be made of.

The truth is, she’d never fucked.

So there we were in bed. We’d met in a bar. I don’t remember the particulars now. I remember that I was lonely that summer. I went to bars with my friends when I could corral them to go with me. I went there hoping to meet someone. I went there to cure what ailed me. I went as often as I could.

I was 22, and recently dumped. There had been a great run-up to the dumping involving another woman (unknown to my real love), a month-long bender and ultimately a near-death car crash-up.

The car crash had been a one-car right-angle turn that wasn’t properly executed at 6:00 AM. The relationship had come to an end shortly thereafter. It’s funny how romantic notions of death are appealing to some women, but nobody’s laughing after a wreck like that.

I was walking wounded on a smashed-up hip, but the feelings inside hurt worse. Much worse. My former love had hurt me. She was supposed to come to the hospital but hadn’t arrived due to a supposed miscommunication with my family.

Truth was, she just couldn’t justify it anymore. The romance evidently had died with the car. She was mortified by the outcome.

Yet the walking wounded still get around. Maybe they’re a step slower, but they get there in time most of the time.

In the absence of love I found hope in my sweet southern virgin.

Let’s call her Nancy. I wonder if I should be ashamed that I don’t remember her name… considering what followed. Maybe it’s just blocked out.

I remember that her voice was syrupy. She was from Florida. She taught children. This job seemed to suit her. She didn’t seem very grown-up herself. But she was all woman.

Back then, it was still somewhat of a novelty for women to really hit the gym. So women were softer. It’s neither good nor bad necessarily. I remember that for a 23-year-old, she was perhaps three to five pounds overweight. It was as if she carried all the extra in her breasts.

She had a full bush. It wasn’t exaggerated, just not really trimmed. It went all the way up to her pantyline.

Her vagina wasn’t super-tight or anything. Fantasies are just that… fantasies. But I’ve never been obsessed with tightness. Like with all things, I look for ‘just right.’ Call it the Goldilocks test if you will.

I remember that she smelled clean. No perfume, just soap. Her vaginal juices were acidic. Not a judgment, just a chemistry thing. Not bad. Great if you can get it, really.

She was so fucking cute. And she saved me, in a sense, that summer. She was the first after all the rest. The first after I’d found love and lost it again. I would move from there soon enough.

Dark hair. Winning. But not sophisticated. She’d never had sex because she hadn’t gotten around to it. Even thinking on that now, it amazes me.

After a couple of dates, she confessed and I persuaded.

So we fucked. I fucked her, and then I showed her a bit of how she could fuck me. She took right to it.

Virgins are lousy in the sack. It’s universal that way. Sex is a habit best practiced.

Still, I was so grateful. So happy. So relieved. I was happy to be fucking her, and more than a little proud that I was her first after all those years she’d taken a pass on it.

She was pleased. It was a healthy situation. She felt comfortable being brought into a sexual life by me. Except for one thing.

I hate condoms. I did then, and I do now. I don’t sleep around as much as you may think and I know how to spot trouble, shall we say. So diseases have never been a problem. I pulled out after fucking her and came on her stomach. We fucked twice a night for a week. I assured her that it was fine. In fact, I’d been doing this for a long time. I don’t have any problem with the idea today. How complicated is it? Just don’t ejaculate. Pre-come is all weak swimmers with no tidal rush behind them. Pre-come is nothing compared to the onrush that follows. Pre-come is harmless.

Pulling out late is a problem.

I left town. Upon return, I called her or she called me. Presumably I called her. It was winter.

I had liked her a lot, she was charming. And I had really enjoyed her breasts. They were quite spectacular.

She was staying across the river. We met up. We drank. At least I did. I drank a lot. I don’t remember drinking a lot, I just remember waking up the next morning feeling like I’d been hit with a hammer.

The next morning, she told me that she had had an abortion.

I got angry. “You didn’t call me?!”

She said that under the circumstances, back in the south on summer vacation, she hadn’t thought much of it.

“You didn’t think of it?” I stood up. I began to pull my clothes on. I did this angrily, like a demonstration. This is a dumb exercise for anyone. But it gets the point across. Childish and clear.

“What was I supposed to do? What would you have said?”

“I don’t know. You never gave me that choice!”

I was really, really angry. To this day I sit with the knowledge that I was powerless that morning. It had all happened while I was getting high thousands of miles away. I hadn’t been consulted. Had she tracked me down through family, I would have not been able to comprehend it. I was spending my nights in a meth house.

We are all good people. The sweet southern virgin. Me and my restless exploration of cheap taboos. The mother of the young child that lied half-catatonic on the meth den couch while she argued with her common-law husband. We didn’t mean to do these things. Maybe we’re not good all the time. Maybe we would all get another chance. Maybe not.

I looked at her. Nancy. The former virgin.

I was hungover and I was upset. I love children. These moments are confusing.

I walked out the bedroom door, down the stairs of her friend’s house, and she and I never spoke to one another again.

Raymond Burns is an esoteric indie film professional living in Los Angeles. Raymond is a social animal who loves every inch of the female form. He comprehensively appreciates the quiet aftermath of a woman’s orgasm. He hangs a bit to the left.

So You Wanna Pay for Pussy? Step 3: Take out or delivery?

April 21, 2010 Hobbying, Lessons 3 Comments

Incall versus outcall. The bulk of my personal experience has been of the incall variety. That is to say, I go to the escort’s location rather than her coming to mine. It works for me. I find I prefer the banging-a-hot-chick-in-a-lavish hotel room encounter to the doing-it-on-my-futon encounter. But that’s just me. You have your own kink, I’m not here to judge.

There are many good reasons for preferring to stay in or preferring to go out. Both are equally valid choices. You can find quality companionship for either option.

Here’s some general rules to follow. First, plan ahead. Whether you’re visiting a lady’s incall or inviting someone over to your love shack, it’s bad form to expect a gal to be available on extremely short notice. Sure, you can find lots of girls, mostly Craigslist-type hookers, who will eagerly say “come on over now” when you find yourself with your dick in your hand at 3:00 AM. But that’s not for everybody.

I understand why some guys would prefer to stay home. You’re likely to be more comfortable in familiar surroundings. But if you have a wife, if you have nosy neighbors or if you don’t know how to do basic laundry, you may want to rethink the stay-at-home option. But hey, maybe the wife is out of town and it’s now or never. As with most aspects of the hooker/client interaction, proper prior planning is key.

You’re not ordering a pizza. The blowjob will not be free if the hooker doesn’t get there in thirty minutes or less.

Plan ahead. Do your homework, make all your arrangements ahead of time so that when the lovely escort you’ve chosen shows up at your doorstep it’ll be a pleasurable experience for both of you. You’re the host, act like one. That means you should not only clean yourself up (wash your balls) but you should make an effort to clean up the house. I mean really, you think that high-dollar hottie is going to be at her best if she has to climb over a pile of dirty laundry to get to the bed? It wouldn’t be out of line to offer her a drink, maybe a glass of wine, and many will accept. But being safety conscious, you should also have a couple of unopened bottles of water handy.

Stay hydrated. And while you may perform better in familiar surroundings, it’s probably a good idea to put away that picture of your wife you keep on your nightstand. Not because you may offend the hooker, but because the last thing you need while you’re boning some paid ass is to look over and see your wedding picture. After all is said and done, make sure you wash all the sheets and towels before the wife comes home. You may not mind sleeping on a wet spot, but your wife will notice the smell of strange pussy on her favorite Laura Ashleys.

True story: I know a guy whose temporary girlfriend started her period while frolicking in his bed (hey, biology happens). Imagine trying to explain away that stain.

So, if you want to avoid all the hassles of hosting your own party, maybe finding a lady who offers incall services is preferable. Here again, plan, plan, plan. Think about what type of encounter you want. Are you looking for the drive through or the eat in? At the lower end of the spectrum you have the fast food, chain motel, high volume provider. You pay your money, you take your ride, you go home satisfied. And you didn’t even have to take your socks off.

Or maybe, being an adult, you’ll gravitate towards the luxury model, the lady who sets up shop in a four-star hotel. The advantages here are clear. Somebody else washes the sheets, and clean towels are just a phone call to housekeeping away. There’s a fantasy element involved. It’s easier to step out of your everyday life; to forget about your terrible job, your broken car, your shrill nagging soul-crushing hateful bitch shrew of a wife. What, too much?

Going to a smaller chain motel you’re more likely to encounter the watchful gaze of the front desk clerk. And trust me, they know why you’re there in the middle of the afternoon. They don’t care, but they know. However, if your assignation takes place in a larger luxury hotel, particularly one that caters to business clients, you’ll have no problem getting in and out. And there’s a lot to be said for a large comfortable pillow-top mattress with clean sheets and a down comforter. A lot to be said for blackout curtains and a hot shower. And can you really put a price on banging a hot chick up against the windows looking out over the city skyline? Well, yeah, about $400, but you get the point.

Whether you stay home or go out, the more comfortable the surroundings, the safer everyone feels, the more you’re going to get out of it. Your goal is to make the experience feel more like an afternoon with your ridiculously hot, willing girlfriend than something you’d regret. And speaking of the girlfriend experience… what is a GFE? That’s next.

Read Part Two.

Hooker Addict (@hookeraddict) has wasted much of the last few years wading through the local escort/hobbyist message boards. From finding a hooker to making the date, not getting ripped off or worse; this is about paying for sex. With actual cash. A few years ago, he became fascinated with streeetwalkers, but now the game has changed. Moved indoors, online. He’s just Some Guy, with no skills and no game. And he still gets more pussy than you.

Eros: An Introduction

Studies in Desire, by Dawn Kaczmar

In Greek mythology, Eros is a primordial god of sexual love, beauty, and fertility distilled from the chaos that created our universe. Although contemporary conceptions of eros focus on harmony and unity, in classical Greek culture eros was thought of as an agent of madness as well as a creative influence: it overwhelms and seemingly derides both sense and sensibility. It has seemingly addictive properties: it delivers intoxicating pleasure for as long one is immersed in it, enforced by withdrawal symptoms of mind-numbing pain.

Here I will tackle the erotic from an analytical and intellectual position, examining the ways in which eros permeates our interactions. From Socrates, Freud, to Bataille, sacred to profane, nothing is beyond inquiry.

The Role of Absence and Longing in Eros

In order to sustain eros, the object of desire must remain in a state of non- or only semi-possession. To desire something logically requires its absence: you cannot desire something you already completely possess. Desire is the result of feeling unsatisfied or sensing some potential lack which the object of desire will then fulfill, even if that lack is simply of the object of desire itself.

In Plato’s Symposium, Socrates finds fulfillment in the very absence of his object of desire: wisdom. In claiming ignorance, he subsequently increases his capacity for deficiency and desire to be a lover of wisdom, a chase that he understood as unending. For Socrates, eros embraced both carnal and intellectual longing.

Moreover, the natures of truth and of possession are inherently temporal and fleeting. Although Socrates conceded to an absolute and overarching truth, he theorized that man can only ever glimpse a shadow of that blinding, brilliant light– a shadow that is, by nature, transient. This temporal aspect of knowledge informed his courtship with it: the allure of both knowledge and its pursuit is that it is always in flux, seemingly within reach but too slippery to hold.

I believe Socrates’s relationship with knowledge can be transcribed to human romantic and erotic relationships. People, like truth, are not static entities. The rate at which people evolve (and occasionally devolve) in their own individual ways may vary from the explosiveness and unpredictability of a supernova to the slow, constant shifts of subterranean tectonic plates, but even the most obstinate responds and shifts in the naturally fluctuating environment of our world.

Even in the theoretical absence of change, every individual carries with them an abyssal well imperceptibly flooding with primordial and subconscious dreams and desires. There is a fertile chaos embedded in each individual from which to pluck and create. There is never a point at which we have concluded in knowing, and thus in desiring, another person. Moreover, if we follow Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, the mere act of interacting with that individual changes, modifies, and informs their state. The relationship is interactive; the moment of ostensible conquer changes the object in question.

The tragedy, of course, is that we often assume we have arrived at our erotic destination. We cease to regard our lovers in awe, and take them for granted. We lose our sense of wonder. Our fearless Editrix commented on this very topic in a recent Formspring post:

The greatest mistake anyone can make is to assume that they are finished showing how much they desire someone. You’re never finished. People think that progressing a relationship is to commit to their desire. It isn’t. Marriage, for example, which is often seen as the ultimate commitment, doesn’t make you feel eternally desired.

Desire a thing to be shown daily. And to enable it to retain the intensity, you have to engage in a dance. You have to give passion space to simmer, then pull them close to stoke the flames again. It should never end.

Understanding the impossibility of truly obtaining or possessing one’s desire reveals the destructive and life-affirming nature of eros: nothing is beyond inquiry. Desire is something to continuously return to, re-examine, and inculcate each day. The burgeoning of desire requires cultivation, curiosity, and wonder. In recognizing its absence and our longing, we enact a creative and fulfilling dance with both our own desire and that of our beloved.

MORE ON EROS
Beauty, Eros, and the Particular
Erotic Obstructions

Wisconsin Sex Ed: Between the Law and a Lawyer

April 20, 2010 Freedom, Health, News, Politics 1 Comment

When it comes to sex ed, some Wisconsin teachers are officially screwed. The state requires them to teach about contraception, but Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth has proclaimed that if any of them do, he’ll press charges.

Leslie Madsen-Brooks covers the issue at BlogHer: “Southworth believes classroom discussion of how to properly use contraceptives will lead not only to sexual activity between minors, but sexual assault on minors.”

She links a letter to school districts in Juneau County, where Southworth makes the following statement:

The teacher need not be deliberately encourage [sic] the illegal behavior: he or she only need be aware that his or her instruction is “practically certain” to cause the child to engage in the illegal act. Moreover, the teacher could be charged with this crime even if the child does not actually engage in the criminal behavior. Depending on the nature of the child’s behavior, the teacher could face either misdemeanor or felony charges with maximum punishments ranging from 9 months of jail up to six years of prison.

Can we get a WTF?

Madsen-Brooks offers some hard data:

It’s preposterous that teachers would reasonably believe that instruction on contraception could lead to sexual assault. According to data from the University of Wisconsin Health Institute, Juneau County’s teen birth rate is approximately 25 percent higher than the state average, and the county ranks 62 out of 72 Wisconsin counties in the Institute’s health behaviors index (which includes such data as chlamydia infection rates, smoking rates, smoking during pregnancy, binge drinking and the teen birth rate). Clearly, this is a county where young people need some instruction on health.

She raises a good point: a district attorney holds incredible power, and while generally elected, most voters tend to have no idea who their D.A. is. This is a big issue. Read her post to find resources and learn about your own D.A.

Information from BlogHer.

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Editrix-in-Command:
AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
Robert Fischer

Eros and Desire Scholar:
Dawn Kaczmar

Scientific Consultant:
Jason Goldman

East Coast Liaison:
Jackie Summers

Arch-Nemesis:
Barbie Davenporte

Read about the contributors we've had over time on our staff page.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...