Review: Sex and the City XXX Parody

Our editrix was a huge fan of Candace Bushnell’s original column and also enjoyed the show while it ran, despite the fact it bore very little resemblance to the column (by far a darker and more cynical thing, and one that audiences would have detested on sight, even though the pilot made a valiant attempt at it).

Having absolutely zero expectations that the parody would resemble either of the two — or even the two movies that followed — we sat down to watch and were remarkably surprised at how well-written the screenplay by Bensen Herst and Lee Roy Myers was. Myers has proven himself a master of the “sitcum” and it shows: his directing bears a striking resemblance to the original Sex and the City show. … Continue Reading

An App That Lies for You

It’s hard to get a good alibi these days. Information is essential in Los Angeles, and you never know when someone’s gonna sell out your whereabouts for a photo op. Fear not, you no longer need to rely on other people.

Technology is here for you.

Told your wife you’re blowing off steam, cruising along the PCH when you’re really in a suite in Beverly Hills “getting a tour of Amsterdam”? You need iDeluxe’s Fake Call Locations iPhone app.

The app is simple: it plays ambient sounds in the background of your call, so even if you have a gorgeous blonde sucking your dick passionately between your legs or a hunk giving your ass an epic rimjob, you can still make a convincing case for the traffic, a crowd, or even the sounds of the great outdoors.

Assuming you can stifle the moans, that is. Don’t be stupid, now. The only fail possible is between the chair and the keyboard… or the touchscreen and the bed, if you will.

Did we mention you can record your own items to playback during calls? It’s technology at work for the Ferris Bueller in all of us. You know, the one all grown up now and with a Tiger Woods kind of hunger.

The Porn Library for iPad Has Arrived, Whether Steve Jobs Likes It or Not

You can try to take porn out of the technology, but you can’t take technological pioneers out of the porn industry. Somehow they will always find a way to get around you. The industry is used to barriers. They’ve been getting around them since the first dirty books were banned.

Though Apple’s Steve Jobs has been very vocal about the importance of Apple devices being free of pornography, going as far as to tell users to switch to Android if they have a problem with the liberty he has taken in making himself their parent — an ironic turn considering the Apple 1984 commercial of old. Junior Anti-Sex League, anyone? — there’s nothing he can do about this. … Continue Reading

Unhinging Theory: Eros

I’ve been hesitant to write a piece here that includes any personal details. My goal has been to break down the concept of eros at a theoretical level, to dissect its limbs, vital organs, and quiet shivers and distill them into a shifting lens of perception and, hopefully, insight.

My study of the erotic, however, is obviously informed by my own experiences of it. The observer, the scientist, the writer is found within the object of study; as Heisenberg says, “method and object can no longer be separated.” It is a necessary humility for the scientist, or, in my case, the writer, to admit to his or her subjectivity. … Continue Reading

Women’s Relationship Satisfaction is “Contextual”

“We’ve assumed for so long that for both men and women, [sexual] problems were always depressing,” says Kyle Stephenson, a University of Texas at Austin doctoral candidate in psychology. Stephenson recently published a paper on the topic of sexual dissatisfaction, and believes that their survey data proves that sexual dissatisfaction may not necessarily engender great distress. For women, stress seems to come from a variety of factors.

Leonard Derogatis, director of the Center for Sexual Medicine at Sheppard Pratt Health System, believes the reason dysfunction and distress don’t match in women with problems is that the average woman’s sexual desire is “more contextual” than that of a man’s, meaning: it depends on a lot of other aspects of her relationship. … Continue Reading

King Penguins Are Not Gay!

King penguins — especially male king penguins — are known to pair up. A new study seeking to understand the behavior that led to over a quarter of a penguin colony in Antarctica to partner up with members of the same sex, has uncovered that the cause is not so much that they can’t tell the sexes apart or that they have a tendency toward homosexuality but that they’re lonely.

Simply: there are not enough females in the colony and with the amount of testosterone male penguins have, it’s better to get on a dude than go at ‘em alone. … Continue Reading

Suspension of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Brings Many to Recruiting Stations

The Pentagon has told military recruiters that they must accept gay applicants. Lt. Dan Choi, who was honorably discharged in July under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy (DADT) headed to the recruiting station at Times Square with gay rights advocate David Mixner and Justin Elzie, who was also honorably discharged under DADT in 1997. … Continue Reading

Because We Always Need An Excuse

Remember when Dan Rather interviewed Bill Clinton in 2004 about his life and presidency for 60 Minutes? It almost perfectly summarizes everything that’s wrong with us as a species.

“The central question, if I may, and I know this is difficult,” probed Rather, breaching the issue of Monica Lewinsky. “The central question is: why?”

“I think I did something for the worst possible reason,” responded Clinton. “Just because I could. I think that’s the most — just about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody could have for doing anything.”

Having a reason doesn’t make it better. The moral question is about the action, not the reasoning. Nevertheless, the idea that we need reasons to do things continues to be cultivated in the American mind. Slowly, we move toward efficient, streamlined living, demanding that everything we do have A Reason. … Continue Reading

Tom Wolfe Thinks Sex is Getting “Out of Hand”

Ah, the Norman Mailer Center and Writers Colony gala, where the icons of New Journalism come together to celebrate Jann Wenner, Gay Talese, Tom Wolfe were all in attendance. As was The Observer‘s Nat Freeman, who wasted no time asking Wolfe his thoughts on the Duke University fuck list.

Wolfe’s daughter, you see, attended Duke and served as something of an inspiration for Wolfe’s novel I Am Charlotte Simmons (which, if you may remember, won a Literary Review Bad Sex Award in 2004). … Continue Reading

L.A. City Council Has No Plans to Stop Issuing Permits to Porn Industry

Despite the recent HIV-positive test result that brought Porn Valley to a halt, Los Angeles has no plans to cease issuing permits to adult entertainment production companies for filming. … Continue Reading