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Of Masochism and Submission

March 24, 2011 Culture, Feature, Philosophy 1 Comment

Venus in Furs

When did masochism become synonymous with submission, and sadism with dominance? Are these two truly synonymous?

For the sake of illustration, let us refer to the classic Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. In the novella, the protagonist, Severin, wishes to become the slave of a widow named Wanda. Wanda claims that the desire to dominate a man is latent in her person, but by the end of the book, we are left feeling as though she not only doesn’t desire this, but seeks the exact opposite: to be dominated herself. However, being enraptured by Severin, she undertakes the task as he describes: wearing furs, striking him when specified, and eventually completely enacting his ultimate fantasy: to take a lover and allow him to abuse Severin. … Continue Reading

The View From the Receiving End

March 23, 2011 Culture No Comments


Meet Max Levant. He wanted to have anal sex. His girlfriend, unfortunately, was reluctant. So he offered an oldie but goodie: the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How could she resist? After a night of TV and wine, his girlfriend donned a strap-on and pegged him. It changed his life. … Continue Reading

The Art of Sending Good Sexy Pics

March 22, 2011 How To, Lessons 1 Comment

The art of sending a sexy pic

Chris Brown — whether he leaked those photos of himself or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that he may have sent those nude pics to one or several women, in hopes of impressing them. Have you considered it? Probably. But don’t worry. We’ve got your back. Whether you’re a man or a woman, here are five simple guidelines to ensure you never send fail n00dz again. Ever. … Continue Reading

A Celebration of Seduction

March 18, 2011 Culture, Faith No Comments

Dr. Susan Block offers a fresh take on the Book of Esther

The Book of Esther tells how the Jewish people were saved from extermination by a beautiful young woman, Esther, who charmed her way into the graces of the Persian King Ahasuerus. The story is a familiar one to those who celebrate Purim, but Dr. Susan Block has a slightly different take.

“It started percolating in my pre-adolescent brain,” the Sunday school teacher-turned-sexologist told us over the phone tonight. “I loved dressing up as Esther and putting on Purim plays as a little kid in Hebrew school. Though nothing was ever said about the eroticism of the story – Esther is portrayed sometimes as a virgin even at the end of the story – I sensed she was a hot number and when I dressed as her, I felt like a hot number.” … Continue Reading

Bag of Dildos Links Man to Burglary

March 15, 2011 Crime, News, OMGWTFBBQ No Comments

Of all the things in the world to steal, why would you go for used sex toys? This is the sort of thing you might expect of a rejected lover, or a crazed stalker, but Mitchell Tice was apparently neither of these. No, the 40-year-old was an employee of the restaurant owned by the couple from whom he stole the goods.

Tice, the breakfast cook, took the items along with two laptops and a wig from their storage locker in January. The Florida police were tipped off when his girlfriend told detectives that he had stashed a bag of dildos under the bed and flat-out admitted he had stolen these from his employers. … Continue Reading

The Trivialization of the Pimp in the News

Jomo Zambia tried to recruit an undercover police officer to work as a prostitute for him. He’s since been convicted of pandering, the act of encouraging another to join the sex trade. His lawyer has come up with a crafty loophole and is arguing that pandering only applies when an innocent victim is targeted, and not someone already involved in sex work.

Pimp costumeThe California Supreme Court will be settling the matter in 90 days. In the meantime, the media has had a field day with the case, offering up images of fur-wearing, bejeweled, usually African American men to make the point that we don’t seem to have a working definition of the word “pimp.” Because that’s really helpful.

Per CBS Los Angeles: “Is it the fast money and flashy cars, or is it the fish tank platform shoes? Whatever your personal opinion, the issue of when exactly someone becomes a pimp has reached the highest court in the state.”

Over at LAist, Lindsay William-Ross writes: “Is it the neck laden with big, blingy gold chains? The omnipresent sunglasses, walking stick, or dapper hat? The animal print mixed with bold-colored garb?”

What makes a pimp? The floss! Not his or her position in the sex trade or the coercion and abuse that occasionally accompany it. No, not that. It’s a look, yo! And never mind citing the law and talking to more attorneys. That kind of reporting is hard. Besides, blogs and web publications these days do much better with silly snark.

Great job, everyone!

Image via LAist.

Trolling Your Way to A Hook-Up

March 1, 2011 Lessons 2 Comments

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to online dating, except probably this: if you go to a party, don’t leave your phone unattended, especially if you’re in the middle of getting to know someone via a dating site that has a very easy to use app. … Continue Reading

The Penis as Art

February 25, 2011 Art, Culture No Comments

Jack Davis crochet

Meet Jack Davis. In the sixties, while in grad school, Davis was coming out. Asked how he came to the idea of penises, he recalls how many of his classmates in his weaving and textile classes were making wall hangings reminiscent of vulvae.

The imagery inspired him to focus on making something that would feel men feel empowered as well. Thus, he crocheted his first penis. In 1975, his graduate show included these penises, and he’s continued making and exhibiting them since. … Continue Reading

Porn Wins Cambridge Debate

February 21, 2011 Freedom, News, Sex Work No Comments

The Cambridge Union Society, founded in 1815, likes its debates. Last week, the historic union tackled pornography, concluding — by 44 votes — that it “provides a good public service.”

The debate attracted a great deal of attention in the media last month because of the amount of people from the adult industry who were on board to participate. For the proponents, there was Anna Span; Johnny Anglais, the Essex teacher who was outed as a porn star last year and dismissed; and the sex educator Jessi Fischer. On the side of the opposition was the born-again-Christian and former porn star Shelley Lubben; the antiporn feminist Dr. Gail Dines; and Dr. Richard Woolfson, a child psychologist. … Continue Reading

Turn Your iPhone Into A Vibrator!

February 15, 2011 Apps, Culture No Comments

Sir Richard’s Condom Co. and Dog Tag teamed up recently to bring a little stress relief to the trials and tribulations of owning an iPhone. Introducing Significant Other.

Significant Other appNow that it is clear that even with Verizon the devices don’t work very well as far as, you know, doing the main thing mobile phones should do, Apple’s draconian, largely sex-negative App Store has decided to look the other way and allow this blatant attempt to convert the Apple iPhone into a vibrator, to slide. Uh huh. Anyway. The app has a clean interface, three speeds and a timer.

No word on how long it can go, but with an iPhone’s battery life, we’re guessing those epic marathons are not really an option. Also — how are you supposed to tune into iPink if the phone is otherwise engaged?

Ah, it’s a ploy to get you to buy an iPad.

It has all become very, very clear to us.

Via Oz Sultan


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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


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