November 2, 2010

Impregnate My Eyeball? Cum Again?

News, OMGWTFBBQ 1 Comment

AV Flox in bed

Cum in the eye. It happens even to the best of us.

While on the air with former Penthouse pet Sam Phillips on The Single Life, she told us that porn star and director Kimberly Kane had told her that semen is particularly painful when it gets in the eye because the sperm present are trying to impregnate the eyeball.

Say what? We hit up psychiatrist and sex therapist, Dr. Madeleine Castellanos to weigh in on the statement.

“Anything that gets in your eye that is not like normal saline will sting or bother,” Dr. Castellanos told us over Twitter. “[Sperm] can’t pass the cornea. Shampoo in the eye is much worse than sperm or semen. Tell them just to rinse already!”

To make sure we did our due diligence to the topic, we also presented the same question to Scicurious, who holds a PhD in physiology and a BS in biology:

“Getting semen in the eye might hurt,” she responded over e-mail. “But that’s probably not because the sperm are trying to get in the eyeball — though the sperm might be like ‘OMG! BIG ROUND THING! MUST IMPREGNATE!!!’ But let’s be honest, sperm aren’t much for deep thought. Sperm, and semen, contain a lot of enzymes which are used to dissolve the egg’s protective coat under normal conditions, and those might cause the pain if it gets in your eye. In addition, putting pretty much anything in the eye is going to hurt, so there’s that as well.”

It’s funny that Dr. Castellanos mentions shampoo being more painful because shampoo appears to have the preferred pH when it comes to dealing with the removal of freshly ejaculated semen. But use cool water! Warm water can cause the semen to clump around the lashes into a superglue-like mess. You don’t want that.

“Of course, swallowing eliminates that problem altogether,” Dr. Castellanos added.

Just make sure everyone has been tested for sexually transmitted illnesses and you’re set to go!

Staff

We're your creatures, putting to words things to inform you, amuse you, educate you and move you. Be nice to us, we already have a cruel mistress in our editrix. We say that with love, of course, we do love her whip.

More Posts

Facebook

Add our page on Google+!

Keep up with everything we're covering right in your stream. Please note this page is limited to users 18+.

Featured

Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

Masthead

Send us news!

Editrix-in-Command:
AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
Robert Fischer

Eros and Desire Scholar:
Dawn Kaczmar

Scientific Consultant:
Jason Goldman

East Coast Liaison:
Jackie Summers

Arch-Nemesis:
Barbie Davenporte

Read about the contributors we've had over time on our staff page.

Follow SAT405 on:
Twitter
Facebook

RSS

Hosted by (mt)

About

Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...