November 7, 2009

If They Have An iPhone, Avoid Like The Plague

News 5 Comments

Retrevo, the consumer electronics online store, recently released the results of their Gadgetology study on smart phone users. The results are more evidence that iPhone users like myself are shallow, hypocritical, completely undatable assholes.


iPhone users judge people on their gadgets. According to the results of the study, hot new gadgets are, to the iPhone user, three times sexier than a college degree. And 34 percent of iPhone users surveyed said old gadgets are a turn off.


iphoneThe study found that although iPhones owners are more addicted to their iPhones (they use more apps–100,000 more, to be exact), they are completely intolerant of heavy smart phone use by their significant others.

Stricken with a permanent case of My Apps Are More Important Than Your Apps, iPhone users believe they are far more productive than any other smart phone user–even though they use their phones more for watching videos, checking sports scores, SMSing and, despite iTunes store regulations, to watch porn.

Yes, iPhone users watch far more porn on their phones than BlackBerry users (interesting, considering more women own iPhones than men).


iPhone owners would are more likely to dump you via text than face-to-face.


If you’re digging an iPhone user, you’ve been warned.

And if you are an iPhone user–like me–well, we need therapy.

Image by [Redacted]. Tip via @samkimsamkim.

AV Flox

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  • Neil

    There’s a huge double standard, I find, for iPhone users. Other people will tell/ask the iPhon user to look something up during a discussion for them. But if the iPhone user looks something up of their own volition, it’s all “Oh, you with your fancy iPhone.”…

  • Anaiis

    This is so true, too! Excellent point, Neil!

  • Jeff

    And if both are iPhone users?

  • Anaiis

    Match made in heaven… or hell.

  • Leif

    I don’t give a shit about this study, it sounds seriously flawed (including only a total of 445 iPhone AND Blackberry users)…

    What do I care about is how do I find the women who watch porn on their phones?


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