November 29, 2011

How To Get Dumped This Christmas

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How to get dumped on Christmas

Maybe you have no balls and can’t really offer a statement less vague than “this isn’t working.” Maybe you have and she just refuses to honor the breakup. Whatever the case (and yes, we’re totally judging you, as failure to disengage is a far more heinous crime than failure to engage), it’s time to call on your super douchebag powers.

​We have just the weapon for the task.

Jewelry condomsA set of luxury Original Condoms. No, we’re not suggesting you hook up with all her girlfriends (though that may also work). See, these condoms come in a box “inspired by the world of jewelry.”

Get it? It’s meant to look like you’re popping the question. You hand it to her with a glint in your eye. You can even kneel — at a restaurant — for maximum mortification and damage points.

She will never talk to you again — guaranteed. And it only costs you $20. And whatever the dry-cleaner charges for removing that gory red wine stain that runs from your shirt collar to your navel.

You’re welcome!

Image by Base3Wave

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...