July 18, 2012

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Feature, How To, Lessons 2 Comments

Tip the stripper

We realize this article is going to make us the ultimate terrorists of fantasy, but we refuse to let any more of you make asses out of yourselves at strip clubs. Several articles have undertaken the task of explaining why guys feel drawn to the strip club experience: half-naked chicks, unknown half-naked chicks, unknown half-naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter who you are or what you look like, the ability to pick and choose from a variety of unknown half-naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter what you look like. And so on. That’s great. But let’s talk about the strippers.

Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

After a few nights running around the backrooms of some of Las Vegas’ most happening strip joints, here are a few tips we picked up from the girls:

Rule #1:

If you just want to drink and chill your friends, don’t go to a strip club. We repeat: do not go to a strip club. Not the same without the TNA running around? Do yourself and your buddies a favor and grab a Girls Gone Wild DVD while you’re out picking up the beer. Trust us.

Rule #2:

Don’t ever ask a stripper why you should pay for a lap dance when you can get pussy for free at a club. It may be true, but if that’s the reason you’re passing on the lap dance, then shouldn’t you be at a club? If you’re just there for the browse, make it worth their while. It’s proper business etiquette.

Rule #3:

Don’t try to get a dancer to do anything for free. Come on, now. Most places charge between 20 and 40 dollars for a lap dance. Surely you didn’t just show up with enough money for booze… or did you? Should have stuck with YouPorn.

Rule #4:

Don’t sit on pervert’s row (i.e., right at the stage) and tip nothing to the women who are dancing. It doesn’t have to be as much as you would pay for a lap dance. Between $5 and $20 during a set should do fine. If you’d rather avoid that expense, go sit at a table somewhere on the floor — or at the bar.

Rule #5:

Don’t ask a dancer what her real name is or where she lives. Dude, come on, that’s creepy. A dancer’s creating a fantasy and she’s well aware of the risks involved in doing that for a living. It can be dangerous. A lot of dancers don’t even share their personal information with each other, so get the idea that she would share that with you out of your head. She may, however, give you her number. A lot of dancers have separate phones for their clients. This is a way for them to engage clients and build their regulars. Getting her digits does not mean she wants to go out on a date. It means she thinks you are a client. Accept her as a fantasy. Fantasy is what she’s there to provide.

What can you do to make the best out of your strip club experience?

Tip #1:

Know that she is providing a service and expects payment. Hey, we know it’d be great to walk into a room full of naked women who just want to drape themselves all over you because you’re awesome, but not everyone lives in a rap video.

Tip #2:

Ask permission before you do anything. Every strip club has house rules and a dancer could get in trouble for stepping over the line. She may be better able to indulge you (at a fee, obviously) in the VIP room, which can run anywhere between 40 to 100 dollars for 15 minutes. Ask her.

Be careful if you’re asking about sex, though. That is illegal in more places than it isn’t and might get you into a legal jam. Remember that even in the off-chance that you have found a dancer who is open to breaking the law, she’s unlikely to come right out and tell you in the middle of a lap dance. Most girls who escort on the side need to know you’re serious (and not an undercover vice cop), so don’t even think about going there unless you’re willing to pay for time in the VIP (it’s not a bad rule — vice rarely gets VIPs). Oh, and keep in mind that if you’re forking over $800 to hang with her for an hour in the club, you’ll likely be paying much more than that to get her to leave the club and spend time with you. Don’t know what you’ve heard but strip clubs are not the place to go for bargain sex. Try Backpage or the Erotic Review.

Keep in mind that haggling is extremely low-brow in the club or out. If you’re low on cash, your best bet is to tell her she’s worth that and more but you just don’t have more money. Do it sincerely enough and gracefully enough and chances are she’ll help you find a solution that works out for the both of you.

Tip #3:

Tip her. Yeah, OK, so you’re already paying for the dance or the VIP room. She still expects a tip. Dancers are usually not paid an hourly wage and on top of that, a lot of places charge “rent” — a fee for working there per night. It can be pretty steep. Not to mention that dancers need to tip everyone, too. It’s good form to tip the manager who hired them every night, the person manning the VIP rooms, the bouncers who watch their backs, the women who keep the back rooms tidy and full of snacks, the women in the bathrooms who dry their hands, the DJ who plays their sets, the guy on the parking lot who walks them to their cars — get the picture? Proper business etiquette even means they have to tip your waitress for you if they see you give a lousy tip or fail to do so completely. The strip club is well-oiled machine and everyone has to pay it forward. As a result, your tips go a long way. The standard ranges between 15 and 25 per cent, but any dancer will appreciate a modest tip over nothing.

Tip #4:

Respect her when she asks you for money. She’s working. Say it with us: she’s working. You wouldn’t like it if your employer got fresh with you and tried to dick you out of a paycheck, would you? Same thing.

Tip #5:

Treat her with the same respect you are expected to treat other women in your life. She’s a human being. Yes, she’s providing a service but she is a human being. Be human to her. The short of it is simple: Don’t ask her why she’s chosen this job. Don’t feel sorry for her. Enjoy her company and attention. That’s what you’re there to do and what she’s there to facilitate. Let her. And pay her accordingly.

Follow the rules and mind the tips and you’ll be well on your way to being the guy that strippers trip over to come sit with. As long as you remember that no matter how much they like you, that club is their workspace and pay and tip them appropriately, you’ll have a fantastic relationship.

Originally published on Manolith. Header image by Alex Thompson.

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  • Mysterymilfinri

    While I understand that men treat you how you allow them to, I also understand dancers are set up to have to put up with anything a man says to her at the club.  Many men go to strip clubs regularly as its a really cheap way to be able to degrade a women and not be thrown out.  I don’t think dancers enjoy the men that feel the need to say “come here baby you know you want this” and other degrading remarks. On the other note many dancers I knows play the con game, they tell the clients the things they want to hear to make them think they are interested in a relationship or being their girlfriend, and they make up excuses why they can’t see him outside the club (usually they say they are going through a bad divorce) and they keep using this guy until he gets smart enough to understand that the dancers wants nothing to do with him.  I see it as taken advantage of a man with issues. While I feel its one thing to act sexy and entertain, its a much different to lie about having feelings just because it makes them easier prey.

  • Nobody

    About Rule #5 and Tip #5: But I like asking them about themselves, their name and why they might have come into that work, on occasion at least. I don’t mean to be a prick to them, or seem really creepy, it’s just it makes the whole thing seem friendlier, more personable, more comfortable, to me and I’d hope to her as well. I’d much prefer honest smalltalk than falsely-seductive, bullshit dirtytalk. I’m not so deluded as to think I have a chance with them out of the club, as if the dance is a date or something, but is it so wrong to meet the dancers on my terms – terms of honesty - just a little? Maybe it’s different in America compared to where I am, but this article has still made me feel bad for doing it…

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How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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