December 1, 2009

e-Stalking Your Way To Hot Sex

Culture, web 10 Comments


Maybe there is a reason I have always been attracted to musicians. For those in the know, what you see him do when he performs onstage is very telling of how he will perform in the bedroom. But what about the guy who has made a name for himself by his blogs, tweets, podcasts and over all social media prowess–how can you tell?

The truth may lie in how he performs on the world wide stage of the web. It’s not what he does, it’s how he does it. What is he talking about and how is he talking about it? Is he confident or cocky? Are his writings masturbatory and self-important? Are they informative yet dry? Interesting and safe? Thoughtful and insightful? He may not be trying to make you hot in 140 characters but could he?

Some things to think about:

  1. If he has more followers than he himself follows people on Twitter, he is obviously desirable, just be sure to check out his other attributes because, in this case, quantity may not mean a quality lay.
  2. If he uses a variety of methods to get his message across, including blogging, tweeting, responding to comments, posting mobile photos and hitting the “like” button then he may use a variety of methods on you until you hit the like button.
  3. If his friends and followers are diverse and he writes and talks about a multitude of subjects, he will probably be able to go out to a variety of places with you and feel comfortable. Then take you home and show you the world.
  4. If he responds to @ messages on Twitter and the comments on his blog posts, that means he pays attention and will respond if you tell him “a little to the left.”
  5. If he is consistent in his blog posts and his tweets, but obviously takes time away to be out in the real world, he may have better insight to your needs and subtle moves and not try to play you like a video game.
  6. Even if he is an expert at social media, if he only writes about one subject and it is usually about himself, his company and maybe the newest trend, then he may be quite selfish in the sack or favor one position only. #fail

A few more things to think about:

  • If he is out every night and has posted his mobile photos to prove it, you should know going in that you may be dealing with a voyeur. Be ready to show off.
  • If he is constantly letting everyone know where he is on Foursquare then you can track him down and jump his bones at any time.
  • If he only acknowledges you through Twitter direct messages or e-mail and never an @ message on Twitter or Facebook, it usually means he doesn’t want a relationship, he is a player, or you are having a secret hot affair. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Oh, and if he tweets 20 times in a row, even if it is informative, this does not mean he has longevity while giving it to you.

So before you jump into bed with him, add his RSS feed to your Google Reader, follow him on Twitter, friend him on Facebook and do a little social media snooping, or e-stalking. In this case, the best way to get your ROI is to do a little R&D.

Me? I met him, read his blog and checked out his tweets, but ultimately it came down to the fact that he had some kick ass tattoos. What can I say? He’s my Social Media Rock Star.

Image by Johanna Hobbs.

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  • Tyler Hurst

    I am all of these.

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  • AV Flox

    Yum, yum. Unless you are including the “only likes one position” comment. If that’s the case–fail! But I don’t think so. ;)

  • Eric Ludzenski

    ..and one other thing to think about:

    • If he’s bought followers on Twitter (Yes, people do this, sadly..) then he’s probably also bought sex.

    Jus’ sayin’ is all.

  • Anaiis

    I think buying followers is appalling. Buying sex, on the other hand? Totally legit.

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