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Harry Potter XXX Parody is Silly, Uncreative, Creepy

August 15, 2012 Lessons, Porn 2 Comments

Harry Potter XXX parody Hairy Twatter

A porn parody seeking to bring back a natural look! What are the odds of that? Actually, the odds are pretty high given we’re talking about the Harry Potter porn parody Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush. … Continue Reading

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

Pleasures

In a piece for New York Magazine, Davy Rothbart spends a lot of time agonizing over how the availability of porn online is affecting his sex life. He’s faking orgasms.

The article brings some good points about the difficulty some men may be experiencing in regard to how they understand the role of masturbation in their lives. The article is rife with the suggestion that masturbation and fantasy via porn is destroying men’s libidos. It’s a good conversation to initiate, however misguided, but it takes a turn for the intolerable when it suggests that women are changing their behavior to compete against pornography. … Continue Reading

The Conflicted Experience of a Porn Writer

March 18, 2010 Culture, Papers/Rags, Porn No Comments

Lynsey G. writes for porn rags. She didn’t plan it, just kind of fell into it. Since last year, she’s been writing a column at McSweeny’s about her conflicted experience as a woman and feminist in the madness of one of the biggest industries in the world.

This, dear readers of Sex and the 405, is the kind of skill required of a porn reviewer:

I learned to watch the first few minutes of each sex scene, taking notes on “plot” or “witty” banter, then fast forward through the remainder at 10x speed, slowing down to note the frequency of position changes, athleticism of maneuvers, and standout dirty talk. The trick was to watch the 2- to 6-hour-long DVDs as fast as possible and then spend under an hour writing dirty, overly alliterative jokes about what I’d seen. Easy, if a bit monotonous.

For easy reference, I made up lists of alternative names for breasts, penises and vaginas, and supplementary lists later on for buttholes, as that trend gained popularity. I developed rating criteria for length, girth, cup size, amount of cellulite, and gag reflex (or the lack thereof). Things got ugly, fast.

She also gets into the occupational hazards: desensitization, boredom, higher tolerance to hardcore sexual acts, and the ever-pressing questions presented by being up to her eyeballs in an industry where everyone is a product:

After a few months of reviewing, the constant humping was wearing on my retinas and getting tedious. My personal sex drive, initially amped up by the bouncing boobs and facials, was declining in the face of overexposure. I was getting paranoid that I’d never be adequate in bed, or that I’d start thinking really kinky things were normal and scare off my boyfriend. I was finding it easier to come up with derogatory slurs about the performers’ bodies and actions. And, I realized, I was coming to understand the bitterness that edged the voices of my editors and co-writers, the disgust with humanity that drove their daily routines. I told myself I wouldn’t let it happen to me; I’d keep my life and my work separate.

[... ] the longer I keep my tenuous toehold in the jizz rag biz, the more the realities of the porn industry stare me in the face, and it’s not just the faces covered in jizz that bother me. There are a lot of really upsetting things going on both inside and outside the studio, both on the industry and consumer sides, which are disturbing and decidedly unfriendly to women. The language used to describe them in industry terminology and in social contexts, the attitudes about their worth as human beings, the aesthetics with which they are presented to the world, and the acts they perform raise a lot of questions. I mean, what’s with the fake boobs and nails and eyelashes and tans and hair? Why the no-body-hair rule? And who came up with the idea that ejaculate is the new trend in facial moisturizers? On that note, where is the line between pleasure and degradation drawn, and by whom? Why have the past few years seen such an abrupt switch from full-length feature films to half-hour-long frenzies of manic semen spewing? Is anybody overseeing this whole operation, and if so, can we arrange to have a private sit-down chat?

Follow her tangents over at McSweeney’s.

Thanks to Laura Roberts for the tip.

Dancing With The Porn Stars

February 5, 2010 Porn No Comments

As testament to the awesome power of fanfic, Hustler’s appetite for parody continues with This Ain’t Dancing With the Stars XXX, a nod to Dancing With the Stars as well as David Letterman, Lindsay Lohan and David Hasselhoff.

Scarlett Fay plays Lohan, who seduces her dance instructor in the film, and Otto Bauer’s Hasselhoff sexes up the dance floor with a racy tango.

“My buyers get a kick out of the spins we put on these television shows and movies,” says Hustler national sales manager David Diamond.

We bet.

Image from preview video, via Popcrunch. Information from HustlerWorld.

Angie vs. Jen: The PORN

December 27, 2009 Hollywoody, News, Porn 1 Comment

Didn’t get everything you wanted this Christmas? Here’s a consolation prize for you like no other.

Hustler is releasing a skin flick based on our speculations about Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston’s feud in Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Jolie vs. Jennifer Aniston!

“We were very pleased with the casting of the movie because the girls looked so much like the celebrities they were playing,” director Stuart Canterbury says in a release on Hustler World. “Of course, the highlight of the movie is the showdown when the girls get into a catfight on the red carpet. The performers were so into their characters, and we turned that energy into some smoking-hot sex.”

Of course, this being a porn flick, the wrestling match quickly becomes a lusty exchange between the two ladies. This, people, is what “make love, not war” looks like. Watch a clip below:

Image from Sponkit. Information from Hustler World, via Perez Hilton.

Newsflash! Women Like Porn

November 27, 2009 Lessons, Porn 2 Comments

We know that porn is no longer simply the realm of men, but just how many women are down? Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, founder of Sexuality Source and a sex columnist for Fox News, explores the inconsistencies in data:

During the first third of 2007, the Nielsen/Net Ratings reported that about one in three visitors to adult entertainment Web sites were female, with almost 13 million American women checking out porn online at least monthly.

This sounds like a lot, until you compare it to other findings. A Marie Claire/Esquire sex survey reported that only 17 percent of women go online for porn. The Australian government, too, reported that 17 percent of Australian women are porn consumers. (This is up 10 percent from more than one decade earlier).

Then there’s the matter of a testament on porn’s popularity often coming down to who stands to profit — or promote a personal agenda — in hyping up headlines. Hustler claims 56 percent of business at its video stores comes from women. At a recent sexuality conference, I questioned one female-oriented porn site presenter’s claim that the vast majority of women these days are into porn.

Where is the good study to support that? While the presenter’s site claimed 10,000 porn downloads per month, she had no way of knowing who was making the purchase, male or female. Regardless of the presenter’s irresponsibility in claiming to know more than she did, that sales number isn’t a lot when you consider that this is a multibillion-dollar industry.

Finally, there’s the issue of how porn is being defined in survey efforts. People tend to have distinct definitions for what constitutes porn versus erotica, which can influence data. I’ve also seen porn consumption defined beyond downloads or rentals, including activities like purchasing sex toys and phone sex.

Thus, exact numbers on who dabbles in explicit visual imagery become blurred.

Are you a woman who consumes pornography?

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...