Four years ago in London, the adult entertainment star Sabrina Deep had a revolutionary idea: to allow fans to experience what they saw in her films. A few days later, for her twenty-ninth birthday, she threw a party during which she had sex with 77 men for eight hours straight. To date that is the longest and most populated gang bang to grace the internet (she livecast it, of course!).

Since then, Deep has continued to host gang bangs, also kicking off her World Bukkake Tour, which invites fans to participate in bukkake activities en masse. Last year, Deep came to Los Angeles after posting an invitation for local fans to come and join her for a gang bang. Being the curious cats that we are, we hit her up to answer some very pressing questions. OK, maybe just one: in the event we decided we wanted to host our own gang bang, what should we keep in mind?

Work it

You’re having a gang bang, so prepare a few hours of sex — minimum. If a particularly energetic two-hour long session leaves your legs and back feeling like ground beef, working out is imperative.

“Strengthen your core muscle with some appropriate regular exercise first of all,” Deep suggests. “Holding certain positions for hours can be physically draining if you’re not trained.”

Post it

Deep posted the call to fans on her blog, but you don’t have to be a famous porn star to make it happen. Social networks and local boards can help you get a group of people together. As always, exercise caution and make sure people are tested for STIs and HIV.

Plan it

Establish your rules with participants. Deep’s rules are no fingering, kissing, creampie, watersports, forcing, disrespect.

“There’s a very strict check on testing and cleaning and of course a minimum of discreet security on site,” she tells us. Because she likes to feel like the experience is one-on-one with her fans, Deep doesn’t put any restrictions on how long or how many positions a fan can engage her. But you are welcome to do whatever you want — it’s your gang bang, right?

“Condoms, respect, good attitude, baby wipes, lube — more or less in that order,” Deep rattles off, listing her top gang bang must-haves. Make sure it’s somewhere comfortable, too, and that you have people in place should things get out of hand.

Love it

“Real arousement keeps you naturally lubricated and mentally strong on top of increasing your stamina,” Deep says. “I would not recommend doing gang bangs if you are moved by other reasons than the one above. Eroticism is in people’s brain, not in sexual acts. Sexual acts are the tool, not the target. Many women blame their partners and situations for not being able to climax without understanding that it all starts from them. Yes, I do orgasm for real and there is much more than the orgasm. Never do a gang bang if it does not arouse your feelings of sexual desire.”

Keep it fluid

“The ultimate goal is that everybody enjoys the fun,” Deep says about keeping order during a gang bang. “There is no specific amount of time set. The guys know that they need to leave others the chance to get pleased.”

Every once in a while, a guy will need a word from the crew to let someone else get a turn, but for the most part participants know the fun is also in alternating the action with the watching.

You can follow Sabrina Deep on Twitter for more tips, bangs and bukkake fun: @SabrinaDeep

You were into it. You like being told what to do, being restrained and made to beg. You didn’t mind the gag or the ropes. You didn’t even mind the duct tape even though it was a little tight. At least, you didn’t mind it until it was time to go back home and you noticed duct tape doesn’t just pull off.

Your favorite pants. It’s a full on crisis situation and you need to act fast, before someone figures out what you’ve been up to. What to do?

The friendly folks at FetLife are there for you:

And, if for some reason the opinions of people who actively use duct tape in their sex lives arenn’t good enough for you, a more elaborate plan of removal is available on e-How:

1. Spray the residue with WD-40 and let it sit for about a minute.
2. Wipe it away with a clean, dry cloth.
3. Launder the fabric as you normally would.
4. Apply nail polish remover to a dry, clean, white cloth and wipe the area until all of the residue is gone.
5. Press clear tape onto the adhesive and gently pull it away.
6. Repeat until adhesive is removed.
7. Place a paper towel directly on top of the affected area.
8. Set a clean, dry cloth over the paper towel and iron over it on a low setting (the adhesive will stick to the paper towel, enabling you to pull it off when you remove the paper towel).
9. Repeat with a new paper towel to remove any residue.
10. Apply eucalyptus oil to the area and wipe it gently with a soft, clean, dry cloth.
11. Launder the fabric as usual.

Be thankful you got acquainted with duct tape this way and not because, you know, it was put directly on your skin. Next time you’ll stick to Japanese rope bondage.

Porn Wikileaks has left a lot of people feeling impotent and out of control. We will be compiling a list of things you can do to protect yourself as victims learn more information about the creator of the site and define a legal course of action.

For starters, if you are on the Adult Medical Industry (AIM) database, contact AIM and have your information moved to the civilian database, which, according to AfterDarkLA, is not accessible using adult industry-issued passcodes and is not believed to have been breached. The main number is (818) 981-5681.

File a claim with Domains by Proxy, the company that provided the creator of Porn Wikileaks with the domain. Set the nature of complaint to “defamatory or other objectionable content.”

File a claim with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. When asked about the incident characteristics, report threats, then after you clarify this is unrelated to a terrorist organization, select “Someone was harassing you, saying nasty things about you, or stalking you,” then input your contact information and submit.

Access this post about how to contact a Dutch hosting company about removing your personal information. This post includes thee-mail addresses of the host for reporting abuse, as well as information about the Dutch Data Protection Authority (DPA). This method, learned via Maymay, has not been verified, but it is worth a look.

Header image by Jordan Clarke.

We really wish this were some guy just out for a troll. But it appears that he’s serious. In what universe does this sort of behavior render positive results? We hope he’s not awaiting a response. Once you’ve tasted the lash of our editrix’s indifference, there is no hope for you.

But let’s talk about getting friended, shall we? Our editrix likes introductory e-mails from people she doesn’t know. At the risk of a whipping, we’re going to refrain from calling this practice slightly passé and suggest, instead, that if the usual method of requesting a friendship without comment fails to result in a connection, consider sending a short message explaining who you are and why you want to connect with the person in question.

The message needn’t be elaborate. And think twice before trying to be cute. Feel the other person’s receptivity before you jump into flirting. It doesn’t hurt to have some actual conversation and on-site interaction before you start trying to digitally stroke her thigh.

Chris Brown — whether he leaked those photos of himself or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that he may have sent those nude pics to one or several women, in hopes of impressing them. Don’t worry, dude. We’ve got your back. Whether you’re a man or a woman, here are five simple guidelines to ensure you never send fail n00dz again. Ever.

(By the way, this article links to examples of pics that are seriously hot and seriously NSFW, so if you’re at work or in the company of people who may object, do not click!)

1. Make sure the person wishes to receive the image.

Surprising the recipient with a picture of your genitals may indicate that you are interested in little more than getting off. You want to ease into it and work up the sexual dialog to image-sharing slowly. Not only will the recipient feel it is more natural, but he or she may also feel more interested in exchanging some of their own sexy photos as well.

2. Understand human desire.

According to a study by Meredith Chivers, a psychology professor at Queen’s University in Ontario, the body of the woman, whether apparently aroused or not, always indicates a possibility of sex. This is not the same for the body of the man.

A penis that is not erect is, put simply, a penis that doesn’t desire you. Women in the study were more turned on by bonobos having sex than they were by images of a gorgeous man walking naked but not erect. So if you’re going to send a picture of your cock, make sure it is rock hard.

And remember: it doesn’t hurt to indicate that thinking of the recipient is what caused the epic boner.

In the case of a woman sending images, labia glistening with moisture will help illustrate desire as well (see an example). An image showing penetration, either with a finger or something else, may also leave a more lasting impression.

3. Art is the better subterfuge.

If for some reason you’re not comfortable with your penis size, the much better option is to take the artistic route than to offer a half-erect member, hoping the recipient will assume it gets bigger. The imagination is a wonderful thing. Play around with angles and darkness. People have been playing the angles on MySpace for ages to hide their body shapes. If they can do it, so can you. It also helps to take pictures that show nothing but the cock, so that there is nothing with which to make a comparison. Yes, that includes your own hand.

Girls, play with lights during your photo shoot. A nice bight light will wash away imperfections. Whatever you do, do not light from directly above or directly below. Red light is, as always, the number one choice for flattering lighting of the body — hence the predominance of its use in places of ill repute.

And remember, you don’t have to strip down completely to send a sexy pic. The imagination is a powerful tool.

4. Cum on request.

People’s delight with cum varies. While a glistening drop of precum on the tip may be exhilarating, a giant splotch of cum on the stomach may not elicit the same response. If you do decide to go for a pop shot, remember cum has a tendency to “melt”, so you have to act fast and get it while it’s fresh! You don’t want weird, runny-looking cum, do you? If your cum is too thick or a off-color, consider your diet. A healthy, balanced diet leads to healthy, inviting ejaculate. That’s what you want to show.

As far as women go, there is only one image we have ever seen that really showcases ejaculation. As we mentioned, this kind of stuff is very creative, so you have to make sure the audience is right. Ready? Go look.

5. Accidental accessories can be grounds for immediate fail.

Unless you want to imply you’re about to have sex with someone else, don’t use a condom in the pic. Yeah, yeah, so it’s a Magnum and you’re proud. So what? The idea of a soon-to-be sheathed penis is nowhere nearly as exciting as a veiny monster rising between your legs. For women, unless these is some kind of period fetishism involved, remember to remove the tampon.

Oh, and if you are going to let the picture have a bit of background (say, if you use a mirror), make sure the space is clean. Yes, people notice these things. Even if there is a wildly erect dick or glistening pussy involved.

It might seem like a lot of work just to send a little image, but it can do wonders to take a little time with it. Besides, you never know if those pics are going to end up in the wrong hands. Wouldn’t you rather they were something to be proud of?

That’s what we thought.

I’m a sex blogger. That means I write about sex. Does that mean I have sex? If I write about it in a non-fiction publication, then you can safely infer that yes, I do. Does that mean I will have sex with you? No, it does not.

If you infer that I must enjoy sex because I write about it favorably, you’re correct: I do. This does not mean necessarily that I have it randomly. It just means I have good sex. In my experience, having good sex is more than being good at sex – it’s about picking suitable partners. That means that I have a very precise vetting process for potential partners.

Thus, messaging me proclaiming you want to fuck me will not result in me replying in the affirmative.

You may feel very close with me because of how much I share about myself, but do note that this is a one-sided relationship. My interaction is with a screen and keyboard, not with you. So while you feel you know me, I do not know you at all.

A good way to get to know me is to engage me regarding the content I post. Yes, we may talk about sex, my preferences and your own. That does not mean you should suggest we fuck. It just means we’re discussing our preferences. Please note that many people engage me in this way and the best way to differentiate yourself is by having intelligent conversation with me.

If I am interested, I will begin getting to know you, most likely in the medium that you initiated the conversation. I will not meet you just yet, simply interact with you until I am confident that you are the right choice. This may take months and you may never be aware of what’s going on as I do not want to taint the results; I want to gauge you in your natural element.

Once I decide you qualify, I will let you know. There is a difference between remaining objective and being coy. I am not coy. If I wish you to pursue me, you will be made aware of this in no unclear terms. I may still not meet with you at this point, either because I am otherwise engaged or simply do not feel like doing so. Pressuring me continuously to meet could result in disqualification for failure to accept my preferences.

When the time is right, I will suggest we meet and if at that point you are still interested, the possibility of us fucking will finally be made valid.

Now that you know the basics, allow me to provide you a cheat sheet of things I strongly dislike, in the event you decide to engage with me:

My response to compliments is brief. It goes like this: “thank you.” Excessive complimenting is perceived as sycophantic and may backfire.

Messaging me to “talk about sex” will only result in me asking whether you live in Los Angeles and care to submit a story of your conquests for me to publish on one of my blogs, then quickly forgetting your name as I browse the rest of the 1,200 e-mails saying the same thing.

Messaging me that you want to sleep with me because you want to see if you are “up to par with a professional sex blogger” will result in ire. I am a woman, not a measuring stick of your abilities.

Messaging me suggesting that the man with whom I am involved is a poor specimen is tantamount to saying that I don’t know how to select a mate, however brief our encounter. This is more a comment about my capacity than the man in whose company I find myself. It also makes you look a little pathetic. Refrain.

Abusing the direct message function on Twitter is impolite. If you do not have my e-mail address, please ask, including a brief note saying what the message regards. I don’t IM because I don’t have time. I don’t wish to turn Twitter into Gtalk. On that note, the shorter the e-mail, the better. If your e-mail is too long, I won’t read it. Get to the point.

I dislike the telephone. If you have my phone number, please refrain from calling me unless you absolutely have to do so. Do not be hurt if your call is ignored. Leave a voice mail at your own risk, as I rarely check them. I am more responsive with text messages – if I feel the message merits a response.

Messaging me to talk about “possible business prospects” will result in an eye roll so hard, it may dislodge my optic nerve. I may or may not respond asking what you mean. Responses to such a question that fail to provide me with a concrete business proposition will be ignored. If a concrete business proposition arises and I am interested, I will flesh it out over e-mail. I will not be calling or meeting to discuss before a contract is drafted. Nothing personal – business is business.

Contacting my friends in the hopes that they will assist you – especially if you hardly know them – is considered a breach of etiquette and they have my blessing to mistreat you according to how irritating they find your request. I have yet to decide who is more cruel when dealing in these situations. I suspect Jessica Janson wins with her flair for profanity, but don’t mistake Melissa Jun Rowley’s silent disapproval for complaisance. Her retribution tends to take the form of immediate social disqualification.

When approaching me at social events, please do not interrupt a conversation under progress, as this is rude to those with whom I am speaking. If you should see me out and about and I am having an intimate conversation, please consider whether it is appropriate to approach before you do so.

If someone tweets that they are with me at a location, showing up to hang out with us when no invitation has been issued to you is considered incredibly rude. So is whining that you were not invited – especially if you rarely interact with me.

If at any time I let you know I am not interested in you, failure to accept this will result in a firmer response that could escalate to aggression. Don’t make me go there. It’s not fun.

Remember, the fact that I won’t sleep with you is not a reflection of your prowess. It’s just a reflection of my preferences. Of course, if you message me publicly on Twitter demanding that I fuck you, I may hold you up to the public for a chuckle, but you can’t really blame me, can you?

Look at it objectively. I promise you will eventually see how ridiculous such behavior is.

RESPONSES FROM THE WEB

How To Get A Sex Blogger To Have Sex With You: Mina adds her two scents as a sex blogger.
What Makes Someone Cockworthy: Sylvanus offers his take as a man on what makes someone worthy of his cock.

All right, so not all of you are math geniuses who enjoy finding creative ways to render a selection of menu items — plus tax — into amusing number combinations. That’s OK, you didn’t like studying for math in high school either and you passed, right? Just do the same thing: copy the nerds.

Doesn’t get much clearer than this.

Here’s how we did it at Palomino (no judging, you try getting a table anywhere at dinner without a reservation):

1 iced tea
1 small bottle of Pellegrino
1 3-piece bruschetta appetizer
1 order of signature pan-seared scallops
1 order of rigatoni bolognese

Plus tax: 69.69, baby, all night long. You’re welcome.

Sex rags get some weird questions. Even weirder than our Editrix, which is saying something. At least she doesn’t get stupid questions. We’re grateful for this, because if she did, she’d probably make us answer them instead of dealing with them herself in public.

So this guy writes in the Penthouse, right, about how his wife’s vagina is not as tight as it once was and he’s become obsessed with doing her in the ass. We here at Sex and the 405 are distressed by the way that the subject matter was approached, but we’re looking on the bright side: the question provided a perfect platform to discuss anal sex and we find that’s something you can always learn more about.

Here’s an except from Penthouse‘s response:

It should never hurt. Pain means something is wrong and is possibly causing harm.

Another key is using lots of good, water-based sex lube made specifically for that purpose (not spit, suntan lotion, or whatever else happens to be handy). However, even with copious lubrication, it still feels bad to stick something up your butt if you don’t really want it there. The muscles of your anal sphincter must be coaxed to relax in order to allow penetration. For that to happen, you have to feel safe, at ease, and completely willing. Don’t try to use booze or drugs as a shortcut, because they’re apt to cloud judgment and obscure pain, increasing the risk of injury. Desensitizing creams or lubes are also strongly discouraged for the same reason.

Before doing it with a partner, it’s a good idea to get comfortable with anal penetration through solo exploration, using fingers or dildos of different sizes. Always proceed slowly, and never force anything through the anus. Whether it’s as slender as a pinky finger or as fat as a soup can, it should slip in effortlessly.

So there you have it. A few good tips on proper anal sexing. Want more? Check out this forum. You’re welcome.

(We were going to call this section “we read the skin rags so you can jack off to the pics” but our Editrix said that’s too long. Alas.)

Image by Redacted. Information via Penthouse.

I wrote a piece for Manolith this week that spells out how to go about acquiring and keeping happy lovers.

Here’s a preview:

The object of your attention must be aware that you are not seeking a relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean sitting the woman down before the first drink and spelling it out for her, but if you’re man enough and do, that’s the best way. Do not assume that your reputation precedes you. By this I don’t mean a bad reputation, I mean a general understanding among members of your social circle that you’re not the relationship kind.

Since I want a partnership where one party looks out for the other as friends do, and there is very little buddy about “fuck buddy,” I avoid that term and put it like this: “I’m not looking for an exclusive relationship. I’m looking for a non-committed, long-term, mutually-beneficial partnership.”

Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to wish to have a purely physical relationship with someone. If that’s what you want and that’s what she wants, then by all means proceed. However, I should mention that I’ve never met a man who didn’t eventually confess a degree of vexation at the idea that I only kept him around for sex.

It’s human nature. We want to be special. And we should be. Even if our particular brand of special doesn’t involve exclusivity. In any case: The key point here is that the terms of the relationship must be clear to all parties.

If you suspect you need to cloud your intentions because the person you’re pursuing wouldn’t go for you unless you suggested you’d eventually be her man, you: a.) don’t know how to pick your audience, b.) don’t have balls, and c.) should probably stick to getting chicks drunk and taking them home, then never calling them again.

Remember one thing: in today’s world of digital nomads, it’s great folly to burn bridges.

You can read it all here.

Debby Herbernick, the sex professor and author of Because It Feels Good has some pointers for getting it on wet and wild-style:

Wet doesn’t actually mean lubricated.

“As anyone who has spent significant time in a bath tub or shower knows, warm water can dry the skin and turn us all a bit prune-like,” she says. This also applies to the vagina, so make sure that you or your partner are well-lubricated before getting started.

Not all lubricants are created equal.

Water-based lubricant is, duh, soluble in water, so it won’t work. Oil-based lubricants work best in my opinion, but these are unsafe if you’re using a condom (more about this later). The best bet for condoms and showers, then, are silicone lubes. “Silicone based lubricants are slicker, longer lasting and difficult to wash away,” Herbenick notes.

Condoms have not been tested for underwater sex.

Careful here. We don’t know how safe condoms are in water. Will they slip or break more easily? “If you are relying on condoms for the prevention of sexually transmissible infections (STI) or pregnancy, then you should perhaps stick to sex on dry land rather than sex in the shower or bath,” the sex prof says.

Positions in the shower can be challenging.

“Rather than be rigid about how sex in the shower ‘should’ be, try expanding your idea of shower play,” Herbenick says. “Why not soap each other’s bodies up, or indulge in some oral sex play, as a means of foreplay? Sex in the shower can be used to enhance excitement and arousal before you transfer to dry sex, or at least the bed, for other types of sex you might wish to engage in.”

Personally, I find sex standing, with penetration happening from behind, most effective. If there are height issues, you can easily adjust at the knees. This requires a little bit of lower body strength, but it’s worth your while if you want the full experience.