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How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

July 18, 2012 Feature, How To, Lessons 2 Comments

Tip the stripper

We realize this article is going to make us the ultimate terrorists of fantasy, but we refuse to let any more of you make asses out of yourselves at strip clubs. Several articles have undertaken the task of explaining why guys feel drawn to the strip club experience: half-naked chicks, unknown half-naked chicks, unknown half-naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter who you are or what you look like, the ability to pick and choose from a variety of unknown half-naked chicks who will show interest in you no matter what you look like. And so on. That’s great. But let’s talk about the strippers. … Continue Reading

How to Gang Bang Like a Porn Star

December 12, 2011 How To, Lessons 1 Comment

How to host a gang bang

Four years ago in London, the adult entertainment star Sabrina Deep had a revolutionary idea: to allow fans to experience what they saw in her films. A few days later, for her twenty-ninth birthday, she threw a party during which she had sex with 77 men for eight hours straight. To date that is the longest and most populated gang bang to grace the internet (she livecast it, of course!).

Since then, Deep has continued to host gang bangs, also kicking off her World Bukkake Tour, which invites fans to participate in bukkake activities en masse. Last year, Deep came to Los Angeles after posting an invitation for local fans to come and join her for a gang bang. Being the curious cats that we are, we hit her up to answer some very pressing questions. OK, maybe just one: in the event we decided we wanted to host our own gang bang, what should we keep in mind? … Continue Reading

CRISIS SITUATION! I Played with Duct Tape and It Won’t Come off My Sevens!

December 6, 2011 Help!, How To, Lessons No Comments

Duct tape fail

You were into it. You like being told what to do, being restrained and made to beg. You didn’t mind the gag or the ropes. You didn’t even mind the duct tape even though it was a little tight. At least, you didn’t mind it until it was time to go back home and you noticed duct tape doesn’t just pull off.

Your favorite pants. It’s a full on crisis situation and you need to act fast, before someone figures out what you’ve been up to. What to do? … Continue Reading

Affected by Porn Wikileaks? To Do List

April 8, 2011 How To, Porn Valley 2 Comments

Affected by Porn Wikileaks? To-do list.

Porn Wikileaks has left a lot of people feeling impotent and out of control. We will be compiling a list of things you can do to protect yourself as victims learn more information about the creator of the site and define a legal course of action.

For starters, if you are on the Adult Medical Industry (AIM) database, contact AIM and have your information moved to the civilian database, which, according to AfterDarkLA, is not accessible using adult industry-issued passcodes and is not believed to have been breached. The main number is (818) 981-5681. … Continue Reading

How To Get A Stranger to Facebook Friend You

April 6, 2011 Culture, How To, Lessons, web No Comments

We’ll open this piece by showing you what not to do:

How to lose Facebook friends and alienate people

We really wish this were some guy just out for a troll. But it appears that he’s serious. … Continue Reading

The Art of Sending Good Sexy Pics

March 22, 2011 How To, Lessons 1 Comment

The art of sending a sexy pic

Chris Brown — whether he leaked those photos of himself or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that he may have sent those nude pics to one or several women, in hopes of impressing them. Have you considered it? Probably. But don’t worry. We’ve got your back. Whether you’re a man or a woman, here are five simple guidelines to ensure you never send fail n00dz again. Ever. … Continue Reading

How To Get A Sex Blogger To Have Sex With You

August 27, 2010 Feature, How To, Lessons 19 Comments

I’m a sex blogger. That means I write about sex. Does that mean I have sex? If I write about it in a non-fiction publication, then you can safely infer that yes, I do. Does that mean I will have sex with you? No, it does not.

If you infer that I must enjoy sex because I write about it favorably, you’re correct: I do. This does not mean necessarily that I have it randomly. It just means I have good sex. In my experience, having good sex is more than being good at sex – it’s about picking suitable partners. That means that I have a very precise vetting process for potential partners.

Thus, messaging me proclaiming you want to fuck me will not result in me replying in the affirmative. … Continue Reading

The Best Ever Dinner Date Hint

August 16, 2010 How To, Lessons No Comments

Clever with the tab.

All right, so not all of you are math geniuses who enjoy finding creative ways to render a selection of menu items — plus tax — into amusing number combinations. That’s OK, you didn’t like studying for math in high school either and you passed, right? Just do the same thing: copy the nerds. … Continue Reading

Penthouse Talks Anal Sex

March 12, 2010 Anal, Lessons 1 Comment

Sex rags get some weird questions. Even weirder than our Editrix, which is saying something. At least she doesn’t get stupid questions. We’re grateful for this, because if she did, she’d probably make us answer them instead of dealing with them herself in public.

So this guy writes in the Penthouse, right, about how his wife’s vagina is not as tight as it once was and he’s become obsessed with doing her in the ass. We here at Sex and the 405 are distressed by the way that the subject matter was approached, but we’re looking on the bright side: the question provided a perfect platform to discuss anal sex and we find that’s something you can always learn more about.

Here’s an except from Penthouse‘s response:

It should never hurt. Pain means something is wrong and is possibly causing harm.

Another key is using lots of good, water-based sex lube made specifically for that purpose (not spit, suntan lotion, or whatever else happens to be handy). However, even with copious lubrication, it still feels bad to stick something up your butt if you don’t really want it there. The muscles of your anal sphincter must be coaxed to relax in order to allow penetration. For that to happen, you have to feel safe, at ease, and completely willing. Don’t try to use booze or drugs as a shortcut, because they’re apt to cloud judgment and obscure pain, increasing the risk of injury. Desensitizing creams or lubes are also strongly discouraged for the same reason.

Before doing it with a partner, it’s a good idea to get comfortable with anal penetration through solo exploration, using fingers or dildos of different sizes. Always proceed slowly, and never force anything through the anus. Whether it’s as slender as a pinky finger or as fat as a soup can, it should slip in effortlessly.

So there you have it. A few good tips on proper anal sexing. Want more? Check out this forum. You’re welcome.

(We were going to call this section “we read the skin rags so you can jack off to the pics” but our Editrix said that’s too long. Alas.)

Image by Redacted. Information via Penthouse.

How To Be An Ethical Bastard

December 10, 2009 How To, Lessons No Comments

Some of us are just not looking for a relationship. We have our reasons—and I don’t think there is anything necessarily wrong with it, assuming, of course, that you don’t behave like a total douchebag.

I wrote a piece for Manolith this week that spells out how to go about acquiring and keeping happy lovers.

Here’s a preview:

The object of your attention must be aware that you are not seeking a relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean sitting the woman down before the first drink and spelling it out for her, but if you’re man enough and do, that’s the best way. Do not assume that your reputation precedes you. By this I don’t mean a bad reputation, I mean a general understanding among members of your social circle that you’re not the relationship kind.

Since I want a partnership where one party looks out for the other as friends do, and there is very little buddy about “fuck buddy,” I avoid that term and put it like this: “I’m not looking for an exclusive relationship. I’m looking for a non-committed, long-term, mutually-beneficial partnership.”

Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to wish to have a purely physical relationship with someone. If that’s what you want and that’s what she wants, then by all means proceed. However, I should mention that I’ve never met a man who didn’t eventually confess a degree of vexation at the idea that I only kept him around for sex.

It’s human nature. We want to be special. And we should be. Even if our particular brand of special doesn’t involve exclusivity. In any case: The key point here is that the terms of the relationship must be clear to all parties.

If you suspect you need to cloud your intentions because the person you’re pursuing wouldn’t go for you unless you suggested you’d eventually be her man, you: a.) don’t know how to pick your audience, b.) don’t have balls, and c.) should probably stick to getting chicks drunk and taking them home, then never calling them again.

Remember one thing: in today’s world of digital nomads, it’s great folly to burn bridges.

You can read it all here.


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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...