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Women Love Vampires Because We Want To Bang Gay Dudes

October 19, 2009 Hollywoody, Opinion No Comments

Last week, Stephen Marche, author of Esquire‘s A Thousand Words About Our Culture column, regaled us with his latest epiphany: “Vampires have overwhelmed pop culture because young straight women want to have sex with gay men.”

I’ll be the first to say Marche makes a few good points in his column as it regards vampires and sexual desire. Yes, there is a correlation between desire and the vampire phenomenon, but it has little to do with sexual liberation and even less with a secret desire harbored by heterosexual women to hook up with gay men, as Marche claims. It has to do with pretty old-fashioned stuff, actually. And a little BDSM–but not in the way you imagine.

Read my response on BlogHer.

Thumbnail image by Jay Dee Harrison.

Letterman Has Failed Us

October 9, 2009 Hollywoody, Opinion No Comments


We were shocked when news came out that night talk show host David Letterman had become entangled in an ugly mess of indiscretions.

For those of you who missed it, Joe Halderman, a journalist and producer of the show 48 Hours left him a package of incriminating evidence and a threat that unless Letterman gave him $2 million, Halderman would write a book and (this being the entertainment industry) a screenplay!

Letterman hit up the Manhattan DA and they caught the extortionist after Letterman wrote him a phony check and Halderman tried to cash it (n00b–doesn’t he know these things are cash or nothing? He does–or should I say–did produce a true crime documentary series).

Letterman came clean about his canoodling with staffers to the grand jury and then on his show.

So, OK. He cheated on his wife. Letterman’s production company Worldwide Pants (come on, that’s too easy a joke to make) has a sexual harassment policy that does not prohibit sexual relationships between managers and employees. However, the CBS conduct statement calls for this information to be disclosed to HR. It wasn’t, so there are issues there. But that’s neither here nor there.

The bigger issue is, well, he made fun of so many cheaters. No political scandal has not had its fifteen minutes of raucous laughter on Letterman. Dave can joke all he likes about how this all went down, but damn. Is it as funny now that we know his business?

Post photo by Jeffrey Simpson.

Unsexy Sells

August 29, 2009 Opinion No Comments

With all the tweeting, social sharing and oversharing, many are starting to wonder if the information generation hasn’t turned into the chronicler generation. Funny guy and radio host Steve Dahl is worried about it. In his column last week, he ruminated about our current penchant for sex tapes:

Has the memory card replaced actual memory? With the leak/release of that nudie tape featuring actor Eric Dane, his wife, Rebecca Gayheart, and 2002 Miss United States Teen (not Teen USA) Kari Ann Peniche, I have to wonder if it has. Can’t anybody have a good time anymore and just remember it?

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? “Esse est percipi,” said the philosopher George Berkley–to be is to be perceived. This is the mantra of our generation, as shown by the tweeting, Facebooking, Flickring, Blipping, Foursquaring, etc. that run rampant.

Do our lives make no sense without an audience? And can we only understand things as an audience–even things that occur to us?

I blog to remember. And let me tell you–it’s come in handy on more than one occasion. Who doesn’t like photos and videos of their treasured moments? Or just some random moment? Who hasn’t looked back at an old tape filled with nothing in particular and smiled, somewhat horrified at how silly they appear, how ridiculous their hairstyle or fashion choice, but marveled just the same at how young they were then?

Most of us grew up with parents who chronicled our every move. Photos, videos. Some of them kept our letters, old drawings, report cards. My parents still have an old math test I bombed.

My grandmother got me journaling when I was young, by quoting Anais Nin to me, “write to live things twice–in the moment and in retrospect.”

So what if sex tapes are not like porn, as Dahl says? Real sex looks nothing like porn. Real people don’t have directors, or lighting and sound guys. People filming their sex are more into the sex they’re having than getting the right angle.

Of course it’s going to be less stellar than porn. The people involved are sharing a moment, not creating a fantasy. That’s why the sex tape will be filled with bizarre conversations–like McDreamy trying to figure out his porn star name and Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee discussing names for a stoner cookbook.

That’s what makes sex tapes interesting–they’re not fantasy. They’re real. Real is not very sexy. But if the prominence of reality entertainment products is any indication, unsexy sells.

Thumbnail image by Drew Ressler.


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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...