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Make A Slutty iPhone Game, Win iPhone Porn

November 11, 2009 geek, Technology No Comments

If you’re an iPhone user, you know the tyrants that be at Apple are hell bent on refusing us our sexy. Lucky for all of us, the world is full of naughty people who know how to get around the rules, like folks at Pink Visual, who run one of the best known iPhone porn web apps and who launched iTouchHer, a naughty games web app this summer.

kinkygamesThey only have a handful of games, and not all of them are winners, but they reward high scores with tons of nudity and we like that, so whatever. Could it get better? You bet your sweet assets!

Pink Visual has teamed up with Fleshbot to make a new web app called Kinky Games. If you can come up with a game that’s hotter, edgier and all-around better than theirs, you score a free membership to iPinkVisualPass, the mobile porn section of Pink Visual’s site.

Don’t have an iPhone? You can watch right in your browser! Not sure why you’d wanna do that, seeing as you could just as easily find high-rez porn to enjoy without any restrictions from Big Brother at Apple, but, hey, I’ve done weirder things, so I’m not judging.

Go on, give it a shot. The official rules are on Fleshbot.

Off you go, my sweet perverts, to make app like a porn star. I have faith in you.

Here’s hoping that Apple doesn’t find a way to ruin the fun for all of us.

Image from Kinky Games, modified with a picture of a certain someone we won’t mention–hey, why use stock when you have so many friends who love to get naked?

Technology: Does It Make Sex Easier?

November 10, 2009 geek, Technology No Comments

BlackBerry and MacBook

Are the digital tools that make it easier to find sex compounding the confusion that accompanies it? New York mag’s Wesley Yang explores the different anxieties that we face in this digital dating age, based on two years of confessions in their Sex Diaries:

The anxiety of too much choice.
A fact so readily apparent that it has escaped reflection: The cell phone has changed the nature of seduction. One carries in one’s pocket, wherever one goes, the means of doing something other than what one is presently doing, or being with someone other than the person one is with.

The anxiety of making the wrong choice.
One with any game at all has unlimited opportunity. A few find this enjoyable and are up to the task: Identify the single best sexual partner available, or at least the person most amenable to their requirements at the moment. They use their cell phone to disaggregate, slice up, and repackage their emotional and physical needs, servicing each with a different partner, and hoping to come out ahead. This compulsive toggling between options winds up inflicting the very damage it was designed to protect against.

The anxiety of not being chosen.
The worry that one will make the wrong choice is surpassed by the fear that one might find himself without one. To guard against this disaster, everybody is on somebody’s back burner, and everybody has a back burner of their own, which they maintain through open-ended texts, sporadic Facebook messages, G-chats, IM’s, and terse e-mails.

Sometimes being relegated to the back burner is a sign of uninterest: the late-night booty call, the option of last resort. As often, it is a place to confine anyone who might become emotionally dangerous. The back burner is a confusing, destabilizing, and exhausting place to be, and yet none of the Diarists—even ones who appear sexually sated—appear to view it as anything but a fact of life. It is clearly less terrifying than the alternative, which is to not be on anyone’s.

The anxiety of appearing overly enthusiastic.
The back burner is a game, and while the Diarists have various ideas about what constitutes winning, they all agree on how you lose: by betraying a level of emotional enthusiasm unmatched by the other party. Everyone’s afraid disarmament won’t be mutual.

To disarm unilaterally is a strategic error on so many levels—it commits you to a degree of openness you might not be able to maintain, and it exposes vulnerabilities that your counterparty might not be able to resist exploiting. It signals desperation, clinginess, high-maintenance. Most of all, it risks exposing the fond hope, better kept to oneself, that one yearns to leave behind the serial fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and other back-burner relationships to which one had, at some significant expenditure of effort, inured oneself.

The goal of any Diarist playing the game, therefore, is to withhold one’s own expectations until one understands what is expected by the other party. These negotiations require supreme discipline. If you betray the wrong kind of avidity at the wrong moment, your counterparty will not hesitate to pitch you into the shark tank.

The anxiety of being unable to love.
True love! Who could say these words in public without acute embarrassment? It is nonetheless something that the Diarists keep referencing, despite the impression they convey that it is an ever-receding ideal. It’s an odd, negative sort of tribute—a vague longing for something all but lost, but perhaps worth clinging to nonetheless.

10 p.m. I want to love her. And I should. I just, well, don’t. She’s the best girlfriend anyone could ever hope to have. I wish that were enough to love her.

These are just five I hand-picked. If you want them all–and trust me, you do want them all–you’re going to have to visit A Critical (But Highly Sympathetic) Reading of New Yorkers’ Sexual Habits and Anxieties.

Image by Dushaun.

Kate Hudson Knows What Men Want

November 10, 2009 Hollywoody No Comments

sandwich

Kate Hudson, who’s been having a blast around town with A-Rod, has men all figured out.

Sex and sandwiches.

That’s what it comes down to. Sex and sandwiches.

I’m having flashbacks to my marriage–which are not bad, by the way. I make some killer sandwiches.

Still–that statement is offensive in its simplicity.

I mean, how could they forget to include the remote control?

Information via The Boston Herald.

Colin Farrell’s Sex Tape Just Won’t Die

November 9, 2009 Hollywoody, News, Sex Tape No Comments

Imagine your in-laws getting a sex tape you made with the Playboy model you were banging before you met their daughter. All shades of mortifying, right?

farrellThat’s what OK! Magazine is saying happened to Colin Farrell.

A few years ago, Farrell won a court injunction against the sale, distribution and display of the sex tape, which he made in 2005 Playboy model Nicole Narain, but the past always has a way of catching up with us no matter how good our legal clean-up.

A messy situation for Farrell, who recently had a baby with his new girlfriend Alicja Bachleda, the daughter of very devout Catholics.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time, two adults having fun, ‘Ohh a video camera’, you know how it goes,” Farrell says about the video. “But at the end of the deposition–because it was all very officious in that law office in Los Angeles, the man in charge said, ‘You’ve learned your lesson now I hope, Mr. Farrell,’ and I said, ‘Absolutely–next time I take the tape with me.’”

Remember that, my sweet pr0n amateurs.

UPDATE: GossipCop is saying there has been no Farrell sex tape leak: “A spokeswoman for Farrell assures Gossip Cop this tale of sex and videotape is also full of lies. The rep told us, ‘It is not true.’”

Information from The Hollywood Gossip.

The Infertility Diaries

The National Infertility Association and EMD Serono, a pharmaceutical company, joined to sponsor In The Know, a short-film competition about couples dealing with infertility.

The winning films are touching–there are Kristin and Wally Acuna, of Clifton, N.J., who dealt with infertility after the birth of their first son, then were able to conceive triplets in vitro fertilization (IVF). There are Jennifer Colletti and Michael Nielsen, of Minneapolis, each with their own infertility issues, who had a son with IVF, but failed to conceive the second child they wanted. And then there are Bridget and Dwayne Friday, who spent a year on the U.S. military waiting list for IVF, only to learn that Dwayne, was being deployed to Iraq on the treatment date. Dwayne left his frozen sperm, and his wife kept the appointment without him, and faced her pregnancy and the loss of one of her twins alone until his return.

Information via Motherlode, on the New York Times Magazine.

We Can Haz Carrie Prejean Sex Tape Plz?

November 9, 2009 Hollywoody, News, Sex Tape No Comments

Sex tape alert! Former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, settled her lawsuit with the beauty pageant after watching 15 seconds of a previously unreleased sex tape the pageant obtained from TMZ.

prejean
If you guys remember, Prejean is the girl who sparked nationwide controversy when she told 2009 Miss USA pageant judge Perez Hilton that marriage should be between a man and a woman, then almost lost the crown after semi-nude photos surfaced of her (in breach of the Miss California pageant rules), then did lose the crown allegedly for refusing to pose for Playboy.

Bumblef*ck, right? Anyway, she sued the pageant for libel, religious discrimination and the release of her medical records (AKA, her boob job, which the pageant paid for), but recently settled after pageant attorneys showed her a little gem of a tape that TMZ had obtained but kept under wraps “because it was so racy.”

Oh, man, do we want our hands on that one.

The deposed beauty queen was scheduled to appear on Today next week to push her new book, but now producers are all over TMZ for deets about her debut as an amateur solo porn star. It’s not quite the same, but that interview should be titillating to watch for us shameless members of the vulture culture just the same.

Image via TMX. Information from The Legal Examiner.

Husband Sculpts Beautiful Wife for Himself

November 8, 2009 News, OMGWTFBBQ 3 Comments

When my father proposed to my mother, he told her she was a beautiful collage of hideous things. Not the most romantic thing in the world, so it doesn’t surprise me that he had to propose a couple more times before she said yes.

But at least she was a beautiful collage.

Dr. Reza Vossough, on the other hand, thought–and was quite frank about–how flawed his bride-to-be was. She was average-looking–flat chested, with saddlebags, a bit of a tummy and puffy eyelids.

sculptedwifeThis was fine with him, though, because as a plastic surgeon, he knew she had “potential” to be “sculpted” into the picture-perfect wife.

Five years, $32,000 and eight operations later, his wife is a model with big lips, perfect abs and F cup breasts.

“It’s almost like being God–you have the ability to change nature,” Vossough said. “When I first met Cany, she had physical deficiencies, but I could see there was something there. She had big hips and big thighs, so we made corrections, then did a little bit more… I was interested in working on her. It’s better than nature could do.”

The doctor said that for him, a woman has to be “a piece of jewelery which a man values.”

I hope there is more there than just a joint interest in beautification because, unlike diamonds, a woman has legs and can walk as quickly away from a marriage as she can to the operating table.

Anyway, I’m happy to announce we now have an OMGWTFBBQ category.

Image and information from Couriermail.com.au

If They Have An iPhone, Avoid Like The Plague

November 7, 2009 News 5 Comments

Retrevo, the consumer electronics online store, recently released the results of their Gadgetology study on smart phone users. The results are more evidence that iPhone users like myself are shallow, hypocritical, completely undatable assholes.

Shallow

iPhone users judge people on their gadgets. According to the results of the study, hot new gadgets are, to the iPhone user, three times sexier than a college degree. And 34 percent of iPhone users surveyed said old gadgets are a turn off.

Hypocritical

iphoneThe study found that although iPhones owners are more addicted to their iPhones (they use more apps–100,000 more, to be exact), they are completely intolerant of heavy smart phone use by their significant others.

Stricken with a permanent case of My Apps Are More Important Than Your Apps, iPhone users believe they are far more productive than any other smart phone user–even though they use their phones more for watching videos, checking sports scores, SMSing and, despite iTunes store regulations, to watch porn.

Yes, iPhone users watch far more porn on their phones than BlackBerry users (interesting, considering more women own iPhones than men).

Assholes

iPhone owners would are more likely to dump you via text than face-to-face.

Verdict?

If you’re digging an iPhone user, you’ve been warned.

And if you are an iPhone user–like me–well, we need therapy.

Image by [Redacted]. Tip via @samkimsamkim.

OMG! Gossip Girl Threesome!1!!

November 5, 2009 Hollywoody 2 Comments

gossipgirlI don’t know why the Parents Television Council (PTC) is surprised at the sexual content of the CW’s Gossip Girl. The show, which plays outside family hours, kicked off its first season in a cloud of drunken hook-ups, lies and betrayals, and enjoys an audience averaging 27 years of age, still seems to be considered a teen show.

They’re slow. Their beef now is with rumors that Monday night’s episode will feature a–gasp! OMG!–threesome!

TheWrap, which reported on this story, posted a letter from PTC (Puritanical Tyrants Coalition?) chief Tim Winter, excerpted here because, god, hasn’t he heard that we can’t deal with info longer than 140 characters?:

By now you must be aware … that the November 9th episode of the teen-targeted drama Gossip Girl will feature major characters in a sexual threesome.

To include a story line like this on a program that is expressly targeted to impressionable teenagers is reckless and irresponsible. I appeal to your highest sense of decency, respect and common sense in urging you to preempt this episode.

… Gossip Girl routinely depicts teenage characters engaging in promiscuous and consequence-free sexual behavior, and that’s bad enough. But will you now be complicit in establishing a precedent and expectation that teenagers should engage in behaviors heretofore associated primarily with adult films? Behaviors that not only increase health risks, but which are emotionally and psychologically damaging to participants, as well? I certainly hope not, and I’m sure members of your community and parents of children who watch your network expect more of you.

The letter closed with a nice threat about a possible fine imposed by the FCC on programming that is “unsatisfactory or unsuitable or contrary to the public interest.” Wow, you’d think the guy was talking about necrophilia or something. It’s a freaking threesome, dude. I had some in high school. None one died. Chill out.

Just wait until Britney Spears’ single “3″ takes over the airwaves. It’s true, my dear fashionistas–threesomes are the hottest trend this winter. Enjoy with the appropriate caution.

Information via TheWrap, YouTube clip via Salon.

Sex-Induced Brain Fade

November 5, 2009 Health, News 1 Comment

Sorry, honey, I have a headache.

Classic excuse to avoid sex. Total crap, right?

Maybe not. Get this–sex is one of the major triggers for transient global amnesia (TGA), a condition that causes people to lose their ability to retain recent memories. How does sex do this? It produces a sudden change in blood flow, which deprives the hippocampus, the part of the brain that is responsible for short-term memory.

Dr. Louis Caplan, professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School, likens the hippocampus to a tape recorder: if blood flow to the brain is restricted, the hippocampus cannot record new memory.

This condition usually occurs in people over 50. Those with a history of migraines and headaches are more likely to get TGA.

Read about how Alice lost her mind after an orgasm.

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...