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Star Warz Burlesque

March 16, 2010 Events, SciFet No Comments

The line circled around the block to get into the Music Box Friday night in anticipation of Devil’s Playground’s sold out Star Warz, an evening of burlesque and cabaret. The popularity of the first performance prompted Producer Courtney Cruz to find a larger venue for the encore. Using the Fonda allowed Creative Director Carlos Flores to develop a more robust production with a new set, revamped costumes for the original acts, from new characters (Death Star striptease?) down to Jawa stagehands to immerse the audience into George Lucas’ beloved space opera.

Han Solo’s inner monologue (Mathew McCullum) while suspended in carbonite acted as the night’s MC, introducing each act. I’ve always wondered what Han was thinking frozen in his captive state, and I was more than eager to see the girls bare all for a very eager audience.

First up was the Sith Lord Darth Vader (Charlotte La Belle). She spun her cape and stripped down to disco with light saber in hand, followed by doing the Charleston to the Mos Eisley Cantina theme. There was no doubt the Dark Lord knows how to handle her light saber and was not shy to show what she can do with it.

A shadowy figure then emerged from the audience and it was none other than Han Solo’s captor, Boba Fett (Audrey DeLuxe) who surveyed the scene before shimmying her jet pack off — much to the audience’s delight. As more was revealed of the bounty hunter, I couldn’t help but wish I had a bounty on my head.

Back on stage, the silhouette of a familiar figure behind a scrim appeared and C3PO (Lucy Fur) emerged. I’m sure I’d lift any droid ban in my bar after seeing 3PO’s clever cable corset that was quickly thrown off and while never breaking the droid’s robotic movements as she gyrated fringe and tassels all over the stage to Kraftwerk. I was never too fond of the protocol droid, but her extended tassel twisting certainly got my panties in a twist.

Immediately after 3PO’s exit, the motionless R2D2 (Sin Fisted) sprang to life when the front panel of Star Wars’ beloved droid broke free from her confining shell. She went wild, stripping herself from her cable confines and contorting herself, confusing limb from lines. It didn’t take her long to make it to the pole to and spin to the music, alternately contorting and climbing to take more spins around the pole.

After a brief intermission, we were taken to Jabba the Hutt’s lair as a cloaked figure lurked amongst audience members. Scarlet O’Gasm put any doubts of a sexy Hutt to rest as she seductively writhed and wriggled within a cocoon of balloons before emerging with several balloons attached all over her body. She then proceeded to teasingly pop them one by one, with help a Gorg to reveal a barely there chain bikini.

The cloaked figure soon emerged to grab hold of the chain around Jabba’s neck, and proceeded to drag the stripped down gangster away. As this was happening, I became giddier by the minute at the thought witnessing the ultimate role reversal of master and slave as the cloaked figure revealed herself as Slave Leia (Olivia Bellafontaine). No longer the only Star Wars fantasy figure, the bikini-clad rebel had her work cut out for her and proved to us there was even more to be lusted over in this Alderaan princess as she rocked her hairography and showed off her flexibility to Sweet Tooth by Marilyn Manson.

New to the Star Warz show, Daisy Meadows developed her Chewy routine after seeing the original performance at Bordello, and incorporated bathing in a claw foot tub, reminiscent of burlesque routines of old. It was difficult to imagine a Chewbacca routine that wouldn’t involve Wookiee shaving, and we got just that — our favorite Wookiee sharing an intimate moment as she bathed and shaved all that fur away… while never taking off the mask.

It was useless for me to even attempt at keeping with the storyline at this point of the show as it came time to what everyone was waiting for: the emergence of the show’s mascot Courtney Cruz as an Imperial Stormtrooper. The crowd went wild, as this clone was unlike any other as she slowly and removed one piece of armor at a time before ending her routine with a bang of her glitter cannon into the audience.

Not to be upstaged by her predecessor, the Death Star appeared from the back of the stage. The battle station then sprouted long, sexy legs as it floated and spun through space until it exploded to reveal an Imperial Guard (Miss Mia Vixen). The use of an umbrella to represent the Death Star blew my mind – using the underside of the umbrella to reveal the explosion of the Death Star as well as the burlesque dancer.

It was more than apparent the Fonda was filled with devout fans of the Star Wars franchise, as evidenced by audience members dressing in character for the show. It was also clear the women on the stage had a love and appreciation for the series as well, as it showed in the attention they put to their costumes and mannerisms (C3PO still moving in her awkward, jerky motion well after curtain call), something that made the evening that much more enjoyable.

If the ladies of Devil’s Playground are as big comic book nerds as they are Star Wars nerds (and it seemed like they do with their teaser glimpse of Catwoman on the alcove), we’ll all be in for a treat when they present Comic Book Vixens on June 20.

Corazon Rios (@lessthan3isme) has lived in the L.A. area for most of her life. She’s a self-described overexcitable fangirl of life trying to follow her bliss. A connoisseur of the fabulous in town and geek in her own right, we recruited her on Twitter to cover the Star Warz burlesque show on our behalf.

Image from Courtney Cruz.

Minx of Dreams

While we were in Manhattan up to absolutely no good, we happened to meet Andrea Grant, creator and writer of the comic MINX. Immediately drawn to the complex plot line and sexy heroine (based on Grant herself), we knew we had to share her with you.

So we asked her to take a time out from her incredibly busy schedule as the editor of TheFashionSpot and fashionista-about-town to tell us a little bit more about the comic.

Sex and the 405: How did MINX come about?

Andrea Grant: Although it started out as a comic strip in the back of my literary arts magazine, Copious, I started seriously publishing MINX in 2006. I’ve always been obsessed with the lines between fantasy, reality, and dreams. The creation of MINX was cathartic; it happened right after I emerged from a very dark period in my life.

MINX began as an alter ego that I felt safe working with creatively as I sought to find my voice as an artist. Minx is an archetype of the empowered, modern woman that challenges tradition while embracing sexuality and femininity. MINX is a very personal project — both a conceptual self-portrait, and a response to the way that the celebrity-obsessed media often corrupts the truth and distorts the boundaries of fantasy and actuality. The world of Minx is real to me, albeit a hyper-reality.

Sex and the 405: You mix Native American folklore and fantasy in the comic seamlessly. How did it occur to you — are you Native American?

Andrea Grant: I am half-Native, through my Coast Salish father, who is also a Shaman. I would go with him to pow-wows, where I met some tribal elders, who told amazing traditional stories. And I thought that it would be interesting to combine some of these stories with other universal myths in the graphic novel format. What’s great about comics is that the audience accepts the epic and the supernatural.

Sex and the 405: What do you want readers to take away from the comic?

Andrea Grant: The goal is for others to seem themselves in these archetypes, and also to make an impact when it comes to retelling old myths and preserving traditional stories.

There’s an interesting new book by Mike Madrid called Supergirls: Fashion, feminism, fantasy, and the history of comic book heroines which examines how female characters have evolved through the years. They started out as film noir vixens, and then had to battle for equality in the 1950’s, until they finally became empowered again (i.e. She-Hulk and Catwoman, which I grew up reading).

But these characters always seemed 2-dimensional to me: superhero identity vs. true identity. I wanted to create a more emotionally complicated, 3-dimensional character in Minx, who is something of an anti-hero grimly accepting the fact that she has been called to this strange adventure in Dreamtime.

All of my characters are moody and as complicated as any of us, and it’s that streak of humanity that makes Minx unique. She plays with the boys, but she’s definitely a woman.

And here’s a little something-something for you, because we like you that much. A picture of Andrea Grant herself:

You’re welcome.

Special thanks to Colleen Nika for the intro. That girl knows everybody.

An Auto-Delete App for Safer Sexting

Text messages. We’re willing to bet that eight times out of 10, these are the reason cheaters get caught — not that we have any experience with this or anything here at Sex and the 405. We never get caught.

Anyway, our dahlias of decadence and depravity, technology is smiling upon us again. Allow us to present to you an app especially suited to the misbehaving sexter (and low-budget spr-sekrit agent): TigerText.

Tiger for Tiger Woods, the professional golfer whose moral downfall was catalyzed by naughty texts? The founders claim the app was named before the debacle. Sure it was.

Interested? The app is free right now, so this is a great time to go snatch it up. Make an account with a username and password using your phone number and specify how much time you want to give texts before they expire.

Lifespan is the length of time a text will exist on the your phone, recipient’s device (whether the text is accessed or not), and the company’s servers.

Turning Delete History ON will remove all history of conversations from your device each time you close the application.

Turning Delete on Read ON will remove the message from the recipient’s phone one minute from the time the text is opened. If the text is unopened by the recipient, the default setting for text lifespan will come into play. In this case, that means the text will be deleted automatically in 15 minutes.

Drawback? The recipient must also install TigerText — fine if you have an iPhone, but versions for BlackBerry and Android are still not available.

REMEMBER! Privacy Must Be Set

February 4, 2010 Culture, teh inetrwebz, web 3 Comments

Facebook — mystical place where connections are forged, friends are kept, lovers are explored, relationships are destroyed, positions are obtained, and jobs are brutally lost. Now more than ever. Let me tell you a story.

My phone rang. It was 3AM and I was home riding a deadline, but it was my friend Lindsay, so I picked up.

“OMGSHE’SONMYPROFILE,” she screamed. I could barely hear her between the slurring and the noise in the background.

“OK, calm down. Who, what, why, where, when and how.”

As she talked, I put the pieces together. The man she’s seeing has a crazy ex-girlfriend who’s devoted herself to stalking Lindsay. Lindsay had taken the appropriate measures, but hadn’t bothered to check Facebook — why should she? Facebook is supposed to be safe, right?

Wrong. Late last year, Facebook executed a privacy pullback that essentially screwed all of us. Under the guise of making privacy settings on the social network easier to set and control, Facebook — from one day to the next — made everything on our profiles public. Even those of us very involved with changes in social networks took a while to figure out how to restore order and privacy.

Hell, even Mark Zuckerberg had his embarrassing candids exposed after Facebook put on all these fabulous new privacy controls.

He’s the CEO of Facebook, people.

Why did they do this? Ryan Tate summarized it perfectly in Valleywag in December:

Facebook’s business rationale here is clear. Rival Silicon Valley startup Twitter has grown extremely quickly in the last few years, almost entirely on the back of public content — from celebrities, people’s friends and users’ professional colleagues. That has brought traffic, money from search engines and a $1 billion valuation.

Facebook wants in on that kind of growth, and more public content means more traffic. But Facebook has historically been one of the most private of the social networks, functioning as a sort of safe alcove amid the chaos of MySpace and Friendster.

So Facebook needed to give users a big shove to put its business plan into play. As startup founder Jason Calacanis puts it,

Facebook is trying to dupe hundreds of millions of users they’ve spent years attracting into exposing their data for Facebook’s personal gain: pageviews. Yes, Facebook is tricking us into exposing all our items so that those personal items get indexed in search engines–including Facebook’s–in order to drive more traffic to Facebook.

But it’s not just that Facebook is tricking its users; it’s betraying them.

Simple as that. So there I was, with a hysterical, drunken woman on the phone late one night.

“I don’t know how to change my settings on my phone!” she screamed. “I want her off, AV! GET HER OFF ME!”

“Give me your password.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I logged in and changed everything to the most restrictive setting. Better to shut everyone out than leave a door open. I even changed her profile picture (you can never make that friends-only, even if your profile picture album is).

The reason I’m telling you this is as a courtesy. There is a way to see how people can view your profile. Take a second to check it out and make sure it looks the way you’d like it to look whether it’s your boss, parents, kids, spouse, or that hottie you were talking at the bar last night.

If you have difficulty navigating the new settings, I suggest Valleywag’s Guide to Restoring Your Privacy on Facebook. They have great tips, complete with screen shots.

I know it’s a pain in the ass, my sweet flytraps of decadence and delight, but take the time to read the notices from social networks where you really share yourself. We’ve all heard the horror stories about firings and divorces as a result of inattention to our social network profiles.

Facebook and other social networks may have populations that compare to some of the biggest countries in the world, but they are not democracies. You have no rights. Nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. If it’s really incriminating, take it offline. Otherwise, be vigilant. Make sure you keep up on terms of service changes and upgrades. And every once in a while, take a look at your profiles when you’re not logged in to get a sense of what others are seeing.

It takes a few minutes but it will save you on a hell of a lot of nosebleeds. Trust me on that.

(Of course, if you’re in the mood for a nosebleed, go ahead and read this: The Facebook Privacy Settings You’ve Lost Forever.)

She screws! She Talks! SHE HAS AN OFF SWITCH!

February 1, 2010 geek, News, Technology, Toys 8 Comments

Before we begin, we want to take a second to instantaneously orgasm at the realization that we are thisclose to living in a postcyberpunk universe, OMG. The cyborgs are so close, the Sex and the 405 newsroom can almost taste them! Nom nom nom! /geekery

But let’s explore the robots that are actually among us, shall we?

Meet Roxxxy, a 5-foot-7-inches TrueCompanion that outweighs our editrix at 120 pounds. Her skin is soft, her orifices are willing and! She will talk to you about anything that interests you. For as long as you like. Without rolling her eyes!

(Our editrix should send one to her ex-husband.)

A TrucCompanion is a talking sex robot. Priced at $7,000, Roxxxy is the brainchild of Douglas Hines, a mad scientist who thought to slap silicone skin on a computer with voice-recognition and speech-synthesis software, and five pre-programmed personalities ranging from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy — take your pick!

A motor in her chest pumps heated air through a tube that winds through Roxxxy’s body, which keeps her warm to the touch. She also has sensors in her hands and genital areas that elicit vocal responses from her when she’s touched. She even shudders to simulate orgasm (like most women you know! Just kissing, sorry).

Her battery-life is only three hours, but then, that’s more than our iPhones, so we’re not going to complain too much.

“There’s a tremendous need for this kind of product,” said Hines, who’s really a computer scientist and former Bell Labs engineer, and happily married in Licoln Park, New Jersey.

This version of the bot cannot move on its own, though it can be contorted into many positions. We’re looking forward to advances in the technology that will allow for Roxxxy to get up and make dinner, give us a back massage, then go service our boyfriends and husbands so we can deal with our deadlines.

And once they figure out all the bugs, we expect her male counterpart, a sexy man-thing to change lightbulbs, play with our hair for hours on end and, of course, do us 24/7 — between deadlines, of course.

It’s not cheating if it doesn’t have a pulse, right?

Ew, that’s gross. Sorry. YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN.

Image from TrueCompanion. Information from CNN, via Denise Tanton.

LOLz: Avatar Sex (Animation)

January 24, 2010 Culture, Film, SciFet, web 2 Comments

You guys must think we’re a bunch of geeks obsessed with alien sex. Congrats! You’re totally right.

Anyway, check out what we found during a cursory stroll of teh intarwebs:

The scene was created by Harry Partridge. His comments regarding the project as they appeared on NewGrounds:

I wanted to make this due to the fact it bugged me in the movie that Jake managed to nail Neytiri with little to no knowledge of Na’vi mating practices. I mean, I’m assuming it’s pretty similar, but considering they have magic hair veins that connect with nature, there’s obviously some pretty big anatomical differences… Wow, there’s people starving in Ireland and it’s stuff like THAT which keeps me up at night.

Us, too, dude. Us, too.

Video by Harry Partridge, via RandomPictures.

Nerd Says: “No Glove, No Love”

January 22, 2010 Culture, Games, SciFet, web 2 Comments

And because you can always trust Craigslist to bring you the best of the best when it comes to our innermost desires, I present to you The Power Glove Handjob:

I can’t think of anything nerdier–but no nerds may apply!

From GamerCrave:

The Nintendo Power Glove, released in 1989, was an early Nintendo attempt at motion control. Players who donned the glove were granted no sexual favors, but instead the ability to control video games by moving a hand around. We all freaked out after seeing it in The Wizard, but it was too gimmicky and expensive, and it flopped. Good thing someone’s trying to put it to use, though I’m not sure what’s worse: Someone asking for a Power Glove hand job, or a sex toy that’s been collecting dust in a basement for 20 years.

I wonder what the GirlGamer community would have to say about this?

Oh, and PS? Here’s a Nintendo Power Glove on eBay, for those of you who think this is a brilliant idea. You’re welcome.

Screencap and information via GamerCrave.

Social Media Is Bigger Than Porn

January 20, 2010 Culture, News, teh inetrwebz, web No Comments

I can count the number of times I accessed porn online in 2009–it’s under 50. The number of tweets I sent out, on the other hand? I’m going to guesstimate around 4,000. And that’s just Twitter. Social media is my porn.

And I’m not the only one who thinks so. A few months ago Reuters reported on this phenomenon:

Bill Tancer, a self-described “data geek”, has analyzed information for over 10 million web users to conclude that we are, in fact, what we click, with Internet searches giving an up-to-date view of how society and people are changing.

Some of his findings are great trivia, such as the fact that elbows, belly button lint and ceiling fans are on the list of people’s top fears alongside social intimacy and rejection.

Others give an indication of people’s interests or emotions, with an annual spike in searches for anti-depression drugs around Thanksgiving time in the United States.

Tancer, in his new book, “Click: What Millions of People are Doing Online and Why It Matters”, said analyzing web searches did not just reflect what was happening online but gave a wider picture of society and people’s behavior.

“There are some patterns to our Internet use that we tend to repeat very specifically and predictably, from diet searches, to prom dresses, to what we do around the holidays,” Tancer told Reuters in a telephone interview.

Tancer, general manager of global research at Hitwise, an Internet tracking company, said one of the major shifts in Internet use in the past decade had been the fall off in interest in pornography or adult entertainment sites.

He said surfing for porn had dropped to about 10 percent of searches from 20 percent a decade ago, and the hottest Internet searches now are for social networking sites.

“As social networking traffic has increased, visits to porn sites have decreased,” said Tancer, indicated that the 18-24 year old age group particularly was searching less for porn.

Although maybe I should probably disclose that I use social media as a primary screening tool for lovers and that, while porn provides great visuals, social media actually gets me some ass.

Information from Reuters, via Callie Simms.

Apple’s Anti-Porn Stance Blows, Encourages Scamming

December 31, 2009 Culture, geek, Opinion, Technology No Comments

Here’s an excellent argument on the suffering we’re enduring at the hands of anti-porn Apple, by Gizmodo‘s John Herrman:

Apple has a ratings system in the App Store. It has a 17+ rating, for apps with violent, crude or sexual content—or app that have a browser function, which could be used to access objectionable content. Most of the apps above are 17+, which means that if parents so choose, they can block their iPhone-having children from even being able to download them. It follows that they could do the same for 18+ apps, so why haven’t they?

I can understand Apple not wanting to get into the porn business, which, by taking 30% of developers’ revenue, I guess they would sort of be doing. But the current setup just doesn’t make any sense. You can buy an app with a built-in browser, which can access the most horrible smut on the web, and get a 17+ rating. But if you link said app to one of those sites, and disable general browsing, suddenly it’s verboten. Again, I can understand how we ended up here, but the results, as you’ve seen, are depressing.

It’s fair to say that most people just assume there are porn apps, when there really aren’t. But there are hundreds of apps that look like porn apps, cost money, and that are, effectively, bait-and-switch scams. Apple can fix this in two ways: they can open the floodgates and just let people have their real porn apps, which would effectively kill these in-between semi-porn apps, or they can revise how the App Store works: by instituting a 24-hour open return policy for paid apps, like the Android Market has, people would simply return these worthless apps, and developers, now unable to trick people into giving them boner money, would stop making them. They would tumble down the rankings and into oblivion.

Anyway, no matter what Apple does, people will continue to look at photos of naked humans on their iPhones. It may make the company squirm, but there’s no reason to pretend it’s not happening, and to let scammers screw up the App Store more than they already have.

The system is broken, Apple. Please fix it.

Image from MapData. Information from Gizmodo.

Avatar Sex

December 28, 2009 Culture, Film, SciFet 6 Comments

Avatar is a PG-13 flick, so I wasn’t expecting to see anyone hooking up. Nevertheless, there were the two main characters, getting down under a magical wish tree in what has to be the ultimate eye-candy flick of the decade.

There being a such a strong theme of connection, uploading and downloading self and history, the scene between the protagonist’s avatar and his native Na’vi counterpart, Neytiri, is intense and surreal. We’re shown nothing, but our imaginations need no further detail–we’re right there.

Although, just in case you’re one of those inquisitive types, director James Cameron isn’t about to leave you hanging.

“That will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex,” Cameron told a group of journalists doing their due diligence (i.e., asking how the characters have sex).

Here’s the short version: they use their tails.

“It made such perfect sense,” said actress Zoe Saldaña, who portrayed Neytiri. “If you sync to your banshee and you’re syncing to a tree, why not sync into a person? I almost feel like you’ll have the most amazing orgasm.”

Talk about knowing how to sell DVDs.

“It was a very funny scene to shoot,” Saldaña said. “There were so many technical things that sometimes you have to keep in mind that paying attention to all those might disrupt the fluidity of how a scene is supposed to take place. And because Jim was shooting for a PG-13 rating, we couldn’t move in certain directions. The motion would look a little too past the PG-13 rating standards. So it was really funny for Sam [Worthington, who played Jake Sully] and me. We had a lot of giggles there.”

It’s hot, but you have to wonder if it leaves any room for creativity in bed.

Image from Avatar’s official site. Information from the Philadelphia Daily Inquirer.

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That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...