I read it, and I wanted to cry. So I started drinking water quickly to push it down. It doesn’t really matter. I know you loved me more than anything. You taught me that the only way to love is unconditionally. You explained so much. I argued even when I knew you were right because [...][...]
Archive for the ‘Nikki’ Category
Eddie
I know how this works. I know how indecision pushes him to dilute his implications. I know all this shit very well. I like to say “let’s play it by ear.” He likes to say “let’s go with the flow.” It’s my fault. I’m too easily drawn into fantasy and[...]
Formosa Cafe
Last night at the bar when Jason began flirting with me, I tried to stay cool and unresponsive. But then I started looking at his mouth as he spoke and how his hands moved and I knew we were going to fuck. I followed him back to an old apartment building at the base of [...][...]
Paige’s Boyfriend
The nostalgia was so sharp and so strong today. I was walking East on Sunset to meet my friend for lunch at the Rainbow when I passed a group of teenagers asking for spare change. I saw their smiles and tired eyes and then I smelled it. Hangover sweat: sweet and rancid, rotten chemical residue esca[...]
Johnny
I saw Johnny’s head for the first time that night. He followed me into the bedroom, sat on the bed and took off his baseball cap. Underneath he was wearing a blue stretchy skullcap. I watched as he pulled it off slowly. He looked away. This was a routine for him that only became nerve-wracking[...]
Rear Window
I remember sitting in a movie theater in the middle of a Hitchcock double feature. I think it was Rear Window. My friend from school Jenna was sitting to my right. We were 16. We were transfixed. Then just as Jimmy Stewart was beginning to sink into voyeuristic compulsion I felt something against my[...]