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Facebook to Humanize the One-Night Stand? 0N N0Z!

February 9, 2010 Culture, web 1 Comment

POSSIBLE TECH URBAN MYTH ALERT!

But still, so scary and full of sensationalist goodness, we just have to tell you. So get this — the Facebook app lets you sync the contact info on friends’ profiles with your address book, right? Awesome! Except…

FACEBOOK KNOWS YOUR ONE-NIGHT STANDS.

That’s what the subject line of the e-mail Valleywag received said. (We get some weird e-mails here at Sex and the 405, but that one’s just OMINOUS.) Anyway, yes, imagine Facebook identified and told you everyone who gave you their number — and vice versa?

Don’t panic (yet)! Read Valleywag’s Maureen O’Connor explain the sitch:

You know how when you meet someone at a bar or alcohol-soaked party, sometimes you put him in your phone without a last name? And you already have a Jonathan, so this guy will be “Jonathan Pencil Factory,” because that’s the bar where you met him. And it was a moonlit night with too many margaritas, and your fingers were busy with activities far more urgent than tapping a new entry into your contact list, so when you finally had a second to type him in, it ended up more like “jonthann pencil factry blueyes.” (Sometimes you need a defining feature, too.) Sometimes these besotted acquaintances turn into true love. Sometimes they become friends. But most are nothing more than a single night of your life—and a quiet chuckle every time you scroll past their names in your phone book, months later.

Until you sync your iPhone with your Facebook. And then you will be forced to look your every unwise sexual decision in the eye, again, in full color and with full names!

An update from Valleywag reveals they did not experience any syncing when they tried it out. We thought about giving it a shot, but we’re too busy having hot one-night stands without names, much less numbers to verify this story. Send our editrix an e-mail about it, though. She’s bringing self-denial and cloistered pining back, and has ample time for this kind of thing.

Information from an unnamed tipster, via Valleywag.

Signing Out — FOREVER!

February 8, 2010 Culture, web No Comments

So you executed the changes you needed to make your Facebook safe but it’s still causing you grief? Hey, we hear you. Living out loud isn’t easy.

Between your girlfriend demanding “Baby, why don’t you poke me anymore?!” and a client catching that fib about being sick (oops! Someone @replied you on Twitter about how awesome it was seeing you naked on a rooftop!), you’re over this whole thing.

You want off the digital grid and you want it now.

But, man, what a bummer to go to every network and delete your profile. Don’t you wish there was an app for that?

There is! Introducing The Web 2.0 Suicide Machine.

You put in your info for Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or MySpace and hit COMMIT. The site then changes your passwords (no going back!), replaces your profile pic with a noose, and removes your updates, tweets, pokes, etc., leaving only a concise little message specifying you’ve signed out — forever.

Facebook hates it, of course, and has sent a cease-and-desist letter. But as of press time, you can still check out of Facebook using the site.

Easy breezy, just how we like it.

Information via UrbanDaddy.

OMGLOL, We’re Standing On Seaman and Cumming!

February 5, 2010 Culture, web No Comments

Somewhere inside us is an annoying 12-year-old who still LOLz uncontrollably at any term or thing that even remotely implies sex or genitalia. We all have one — it was just a matter of time before this impulse took life.

Welcome to Things That Are Doing It, a blog devoted to pictures that are sure to send that inner 12-year-old into a mad fit of giggles. From their about page:

Hey, you know what’s everywhere? Peens and Va-jay-jays! They’re out there drawn on the sides of cars, being made out of vegetables and sneakily tucked into advertisements. Hell, take a walk through a nice wooded grove, ten bucks says you see something that looks like a wang. I know I would. I see genitals everywhere, I suffer from wicked-dirty-mind disease. Just right here on my desk I see two boobs, a scrotum and some lady-junk. Luckily my sense of humor has been arrested since grade school, so I think all of this is hilarious. If you don’t, might I suggest drinking half a bottle of whiskey and then giving the site another look.

There you have it. Enjoy — we certainly are.

Via UrbanDaddy.

REMEMBER! Privacy Must Be Set

February 4, 2010 Culture, teh inetrwebz, web 3 Comments

Facebook — mystical place where connections are forged, friends are kept, lovers are explored, relationships are destroyed, positions are obtained, and jobs are brutally lost. Now more than ever. Let me tell you a story.

My phone rang. It was 3AM and I was home riding a deadline, but it was my friend Lindsay, so I picked up.

“OMGSHE’SONMYPROFILE,” she screamed. I could barely hear her between the slurring and the noise in the background.

“OK, calm down. Who, what, why, where, when and how.”

As she talked, I put the pieces together. The man she’s seeing has a crazy ex-girlfriend who’s devoted herself to stalking Lindsay. Lindsay had taken the appropriate measures, but hadn’t bothered to check Facebook — why should she? Facebook is supposed to be safe, right?

Wrong. Late last year, Facebook executed a privacy pullback that essentially screwed all of us. Under the guise of making privacy settings on the social network easier to set and control, Facebook — from one day to the next — made everything on our profiles public. Even those of us very involved with changes in social networks took a while to figure out how to restore order and privacy.

Hell, even Mark Zuckerberg had his embarrassing candids exposed after Facebook put on all these fabulous new privacy controls.

He’s the CEO of Facebook, people.

Why did they do this? Ryan Tate summarized it perfectly in Valleywag in December:

Facebook’s business rationale here is clear. Rival Silicon Valley startup Twitter has grown extremely quickly in the last few years, almost entirely on the back of public content — from celebrities, people’s friends and users’ professional colleagues. That has brought traffic, money from search engines and a $1 billion valuation.

Facebook wants in on that kind of growth, and more public content means more traffic. But Facebook has historically been one of the most private of the social networks, functioning as a sort of safe alcove amid the chaos of MySpace and Friendster.

So Facebook needed to give users a big shove to put its business plan into play. As startup founder Jason Calacanis puts it,

Facebook is trying to dupe hundreds of millions of users they’ve spent years attracting into exposing their data for Facebook’s personal gain: pageviews. Yes, Facebook is tricking us into exposing all our items so that those personal items get indexed in search engines–including Facebook’s–in order to drive more traffic to Facebook.

But it’s not just that Facebook is tricking its users; it’s betraying them.

Simple as that. So there I was, with a hysterical, drunken woman on the phone late one night.

“I don’t know how to change my settings on my phone!” she screamed. “I want her off, AV! GET HER OFF ME!”

“Give me your password.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I logged in and changed everything to the most restrictive setting. Better to shut everyone out than leave a door open. I even changed her profile picture (you can never make that friends-only, even if your profile picture album is).

The reason I’m telling you this is as a courtesy. There is a way to see how people can view your profile. Take a second to check it out and make sure it looks the way you’d like it to look whether it’s your boss, parents, kids, spouse, or that hottie you were talking at the bar last night.

If you have difficulty navigating the new settings, I suggest Valleywag’s Guide to Restoring Your Privacy on Facebook. They have great tips, complete with screen shots.

I know it’s a pain in the ass, my sweet flytraps of decadence and delight, but take the time to read the notices from social networks where you really share yourself. We’ve all heard the horror stories about firings and divorces as a result of inattention to our social network profiles.

Facebook and other social networks may have populations that compare to some of the biggest countries in the world, but they are not democracies. You have no rights. Nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. If it’s really incriminating, take it offline. Otherwise, be vigilant. Make sure you keep up on terms of service changes and upgrades. And every once in a while, take a look at your profiles when you’re not logged in to get a sense of what others are seeing.

It takes a few minutes but it will save you on a hell of a lot of nosebleeds. Trust me on that.

(Of course, if you’re in the mood for a nosebleed, go ahead and read this: The Facebook Privacy Settings You’ve Lost Forever.)

Do You Take It In The Ass? (NSFW)

February 3, 2010 Advertising, Culture, web 3 Comments

A question we’re sure a lot of people wish they could ask on a first date, but tend not to. As with anything that might be important to you, we here at Sex and the 405 think you should certainly ask. Don’t let them kid you, sexual compatibility is important in a relationship:

We are going to have this song stuck in our heads all day. The least we could do is share.

You’re welcome!

Via Peter Shankman.

John Dvorak: To Avoid Embarrassment, Avoid Everything!

January 28, 2010 Culture, web 1 Comment

“The Internet is often eternal,” says PC mag columnist and the host of the weekly podcast CrankyGeeks, John Dvorak. “Once something appears on it, someone will invariably keep a copy of it — or the thing will simply stay online forever. Just as the rest of us are finally forgetting that video of the chubby kid prancing around the room with his light saber, someone will reintroduce it to a whole new generation of viewers. When this kid turns 60, I guarantee that someone will pull out the video at his birthday party.”

Stuff we do online is like a tattoo that never goes away. How can we avoid the possible embarrassment of having to face our digital footprint down the line? Refuse everything that is human interaction via technology! Duh!

Cardinal rules:

  1. Do not sext. “This is probably the dumbest thing you can do,” he says.
  2. Facebook and Myspace. “Facebook is a product you use after agreeing to its terms of service,” Dvorak says. “It’s a well known fact that the guy who runs the site is not interested in your privacy. Never assume that anything you post on the Internet is going to stay private. Nothing is.”
  3. Twitter. “Sounding like an idiot on Twitter with hour-by-hour chatter about your feelings is incredibly revealing,” he says. “Every so often I check in on someone’s tweets, only to discover that the person I just met is a total dingbat.”
  4. Blogging. “I’ve never understood why someone wants to reveal their innermost feelings on a blog,” Dvorak says. “It’s generally not that entertaining. Too often it focuses on someone’s cat. You have to wonder why people present such sad personalities online. Do they even know that they’re doing it?”
  5. Chat Rooms. “It’s also very easy to record a video chat,” he says. “What would an employer think if they got a hold of the video? What would your mom think?”
  6. Flickr. “I constantly use Flickr to do due diligence on people,” he says. “Why not? If someone has hundreds of pictures posted of him or herself, an immediate red flag goes up. Why do you need so many pictures of yourself online? These pictures were usually taken at parties where people end up acting like the Whore of Babylon or an out-and-out drunk.”
  7. YouTube. “While you can indeed remove videos from YouTube, I can assure you that, if you are really making a fool of yourself, someone will capture the stream and repost it,” Dvorak says. “Again, you can expect to see yourself as a dopey 15-year-old on the big screen of every birthday part from 21 to 60. Like the fat kid with the sword, you may forever be defined by that video.”

Information from PC Magazine.

She Lied About Infecting Over 500 People With HIV

January 27, 2010 Crime, Culture, News, web No Comments

Last week, the interwebz went ballistic over a YouTube video wherein a woman confessed to infecting some 500 people with HIV.

“Just because something looks good, it could be dirty on the inside,” the masked woman says, talking to the camera in almost a sing-song voice. “Like a fruit. If you see a shiny red apple — you should have learned from Snow White. Just because the apple was pretty and inviting, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t harmful.”

It’s the scariest thing we have ever seen. Naturally, everyone went into a panic. The woman has since been identified as Jackie Braxton, an adult star on the web. She confessed to the Detroit News later that she does not have the virus.

“I made the tape because I wanted to raise awareness about AIDS,” the 23-year-old said.

Police picked her up at the Detroit college she attends and immediately took her to the city’s health department to be tested for HIV. The results are confidential, but Deputy Chief James Tolbert told the News “we are 100-percent positive it was a hoax.”

More from the News:

Braxton said she feels “bad” about making the video that has spread panic among Metro Detroiters and others around the country. But, she said she felt her tape served its purpose when she went to the city’s health department this morning and saw people waiting to get tested for AIDS.

Braxton, who uses the stage name “Fame” and has a 5-year-old daughter, admitted she made the videotape to market her own porn site, which she says she operates with her husband. Braxton’s video on the Mediatakeout.com site had recorded more than 430,000 hits by Thursday evening.

Police do not know yet if criminal charges can be levied against Braxton because they don’t know if she has broken any laws. Failure to disclose to a sex partner that you have HIV/AIDS is a felony.

Here’s the video for those of you who can’t take our word for it on how terrifying this is:

OK, so we here at Sex and the 405 know there’s no such thing as bad publicity, but… just the thought of HIV/AIDS makes it impossible for us to even think about getting down. Fame’s a cute pornstar name — very Lady Gaga — but Braxton will forever be “AIDS Girl” in our minds.

Good job on freaking everyone out into getting tested, though. According to WCTV, Michael McElrath, a spokesman for the city’s health department, said that the number of walk-ins for HIV testing more than doubled in Detroit on Friday.

That’s gotta count for something.

Image and information from the Detroit News, via @miamirotica.

How To Get Our Editor To Do You

January 25, 2010 Culture, web 1 Comment

You think we’re kidding?

OK, maybe a little, but only slightly.

He had it with the first two sentences. Then he started going on about what a weakling he was and, well, that ruins the worthy adversary fantasy.

The fact that this is strictly platonic might also be something of a problem. What proper battle doesn’t end in violent sex? Like, hello.

Oh, and he’s in Louisiana. But apparently Ms. Flox will jet for a proper show-down.

Link via Marsha Collier.

The Fantasy Life–Served

January 25, 2010 Culture, Eyecandy, Interview, web, Women 1 Comment

It was a typical day on Twitter. That is, I was e-stalking my object of absolute desire, responding to my friends, and being a good little monkey and checking my new followers to report and block any spam accounts. Then I saw it: @celebfantasies.

Long gone are the days that I check everyone following me to see if they’re cool enough to follow back — now I just reserve follow-backs for people who engage me. The truth? I like to surf blogs and tweets and I know how much time I can end up spending if I give in to even a single person.

But I run a blog now and people depend on me to be a little more attentive, so what the hell, right? Someone’s gotta read Twitter so you don’t have to.

.

“A homage to the famous, beautiful and sexy women we love, not hiding the truth of masturbation.”

That was the bio. Hell yes. The blog linked immediately revealed a veritable dish of beauties — from the absolute fantasy girls to the girls next door — as well as articles and fantasies, written by the author and pulled up from the depths of the web.

I shot the author, Brad Hamilton, a direct message and a few hours later, had him before me over Gtalk. What follows is the interview:

AV: First off–what possessed you to do this?

BH: The primary reason is that the society we live in treats sex as a taboo, especially masturbation. A friend, actually a phone sex girl, suggested that I write a blog about my fantasies about all my celebrity girls. It’s something of a therapeutic way of talking about my fantasies in a safe way. This is, actually, the third incarnation of the blog. The first two I had on Blogger a few years ago. With some of the video and slide shows I had on there, it was slowing up the page and the load times. Tumblr has a cleaner interface that has good features for photos and video.

AV: What’s the response you’ve gotten?

BH: Most of the visitors to my blog are guys who also masturbate to celebrities. Only one woman who has been the subject of my writings (that I know of) has seen and read my blog and she actually contacted me a couple times via IM and we’ve chatted about it. The guys like the blog of course.

AV: In the blog do you offer a daily hottie for readers to check out or is that less frequent?

BH: Something like that. If I write a fantasy about a woman or post photos or videos of her, she’s the woman that I’m currently getting my rocks off to. For example, I was masturbating to Fox 11 reporters Maria Quiban, Lisa Breckinridge and Suzanne Marques last week so my morning writings were about them, along with my Twitter entries. Can I tell you something? You fall in the category of newsladies/reporters. You’re adorable.

AV: Oh, I’m flattered! Thank you.

So, there you have it. A daily dish of fantasies, sexy articles, pictures and video, complete with a Twitter stream to let you know what’s new.

Bosses — prepare yourselves for a complete drop in productivity.

Oh, and you’re welcome.

Image from Jamie Edmondson, via Celebrity Dish.

Sit On Our Facebook!

January 25, 2010 Vitals, web 1 Comment

ZOMG. We have a Facebook fan page!

I know, it’s kind of gross — who wants to be a “fan”?

I can’t think of anything less sexy.

Look, we’re not looking for “fans” — we’re looking to make a space on a platform everyone and their mother’s on so we can better hear what you have to say, whether it’s tips, ideas, comments, or complaints. We want to make it easy for you to come over and tell us what’s what — dig?

As a treat, we’ll start putting some photos of our shenanigans around town over there, and any exclusive pics we get from Eyecandy-worthy individuals.

So, come on over, give it a browse, and — if you don’t think you’ll get fired for being a “fan” of a page about OMG! OMG! sex — go ahead and join us.

You can always make a private list on Twitter to lurk up on what we’re doing if you’re ashamed of being publicly associated with us. We won’t take it personally. I mean, it’s not like you call us before 3AM usually.

Heh. Don’t you dare.

Image used in the Facebook page is (oh, boy, here we go), your humble editrix, AV Flox, taken by Jessica Janson, and superimposed on an image of Los Angeles by Ron Reiring.

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That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Editrix-in-Command:
AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
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Eros and Desire Scholar:
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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...