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Getting Married? Go To Vegas, Bachelor!

March 3, 2010 Culture, lolz 1 Comment

OK, so you’re getting married. Vegas is right next door — why not? Our buddies over at CasinoGuide have some activities for you to consider. Our top five:

Marry a Stripper
Face it, the little lady back home is a shrew. “Blah blah blah equality”. “Blah blah blah me me me”. Ditch the bitch. Las Vegas is full of strippers with hearts of gold. They cook, they are sweet, and they take their clothes off for money so that you don’t have to get a job. What more could you want in a spouse?

Gamble All of Your Money Away
The less money you have, the less it will hurt to lose half. Liquidate your assets, and piss it all away. If your fiance is mad when you get home, then she just wanted you for your money anyway. When she leaves you at the altar, get a ride back to Vegas and marry a stripper with a heart of gold.

Hire a Really Hot Nanny
Most of our faux-rich residents are now upside-down on their homes, which means that hot nannies have flocked to stripper poles in droves. Just because you don’t find the spouse of your dreams at the local nudie bar doesn’t mean that you can’t take her home. Think of the children.

Sleep In
When your wife has a career and children, society will regard her as “Super Woman”. When you have a career and children, society will still regard you as a lazy asshole.

Now get up and mow the lawn.

Asshole.

Two Chicks, No Cups
Escorts/strippers/ho’s are like potato chips. You can’t just eat one. Scratch that, for the sake of your own health you should never eat any of the above, but there is no good reason that you can’t pay the potato chips to eat each other. Food for thought.

Photo by AV Flox. Exceprt from CasinoGuide. If you can’t tell this is supposed to be a humorous article, then we really don’t know what to tell you. Even our editrix thought this was funny and she never laughs — like, ever. Unless a tank is running over a Prius or something.

Love Thy Neighbor!

Most of the time, our editrix shuns the “go green” movement as a tool of evil to guilt us out of private jets and into commercial aircraft that treat us like cattle.

Every once in a while, though, a company will harness our fear of destroying the planet into a clever marketing campaign.

MeetLocals hit the nail on the head with this little ad. “Go green, date your neighbor.” If that’s not an automatic win, we don’t know what is.

Now all we need are some fuckable neighbors. Anyone else based out of the west side? Maybe we should join the site, but who needs to keep track of yet another site profile? These dating site people need to figure out how to do Twitter and Facebook integration so we can stop wasting time updating profiles all over the web.

Dear Bank: Get Out of Our Blogs and Bedrooms

Last week, TechCrunch reported on something terrifying: Citibank had blocked the business account of the brand-spanking new startup fabulis due to what they were calling “objectionable content” on the fabulis company blog.

What’s objectionable? Fabulis is a soon-to-launch social network seeking to connect gay men with amazing experiences around the world. From TechCrunch:

Could that be what Citibank is objecting against rather than the content on the blog, which is perfectly innocent any way you look at it indeed?

Now, in case you don’t know Goldberg: he’s an accomplished Internet entrepreneur, who had stints at the White House, AOL and T-Mobile under his belt before founding Jobster (and raising more than $50 million for the startup) and after that socialmedian (which he sold to Xing in December 2008).

For his latest startup fabulis, Goldberg has raised $625k in seed funding from the likes of Washington Post and Venture Partner at Mayfield Fund Allen Morgan, and essentially aims to become the leading social network and lifestyle website for homosexual men.

“And wtf. When did Citibank start reviewing blogs to decide who can bank with them?” asked fabulis founder Jason Goldberg in a blog post on the matter.

After more discussions with Citibank representatives, Goldberg learned that the bank had terminated the fabulis business account because the “content was not in compliance with Citibank’s standard policies.” Kater, a bank rep called to apologize, saying: “all 3 of the citibank individuals who over the past 24 hours each individually claimed that fabulis’ account was to be terminated for compliance issues around the content of our site, were all wrong to have said what they said.”

Eventually, fabulis received an apology from Bill Brown, who says he’s responsible for the Citibank Branches in Manhattan which said:

Jason,

We have not been formally introduced and I imagine that this is a poor way to become acquainted. I am responsible for the Citibank Branches in Manhattan and have just learned today of the challenges you have experienced in opening an account with us.

I apologize for any confusion about the status of your account and the Fabulis website. Whatever statements that were made by any Citi representative related to the content of your website were inappropriate and made in error, and I will review in detail what happened. You have my firm commitment on this point.

I truly regret any unintended message that my employees may have conveyed about your new business venture. I place great value on your business and assure you that Citi is committed to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities. In fact, this week Citi has announced the financing for the True Colors Residence, a housing facility for homeless GLBT youth in New York City.

I recognize that, to this point, this dialogue has been carried out on the internet via postings. You may choose to post this apology, however, please do not doubt the sincerity of my message and the responsibility I have for ensuring our customers do not encounter a similar experience.

Safe travels,

Bill Brown

Embarrassed by the internet shitstorm that ensued, Citibank has gone a step further. According to a new report on TechCrunch, the bank is now reviewing and making changes to policies for their internet business account costumers.

Citibank Message About Internet Business Accounts

At Citibank, we have learned a great deal from recent customer issues related to Internet business accounts. Mistakes were made in some instances, in which we apologized and corrected the problem. These issues made it clear to us that the language in our branch procedures was not specific enough and left too much room for interpretation from one account to the next.

We recognized that we needed clearer and less subjective guidelines with regard to opening Internet business accounts. And there were clearly gaps in training and communications around these specific branch procedures. Based on all these learnings, we’ve taken action and this week we updated and clarified our procedures for opening all Internet business accounts.

Banks are required by law to conduct due diligence and understand the nature of business accounts. For Internet business accounts, we have made it clearer to our bankers what the due diligence process entails. For example, we will continue to reserve the right to decline or suspend an account if we find illegal or discriminatory content, or if the site involves gambling or pornography. Beyond that specific due diligence, however, we do not monitor or evaluate our customers’ web content.

We are providing additional training in this area to ensure the procedures are uniformly and correctly followed. Also, our bankers are now required to have additional consultation with senior level banking executives when questions arise about these accounts before making any final decisions. This will help to avoid misunderstanding and subjective decisions, and promote greater consistency throughout the process. And we remain committed to working with our customers to try to resolve any issues.

As a global organization, we also recognize the power and promise of diversity. In that spirit, we reiterate Citi’s commitment to serving customers, hiring talent and supporting a broad array of organizations that promote diversity. To learn more about our diversity efforts, please visit: http://www.citigroup.com/citi/citizen/diversity/index.htm.

These recent customer issues have been a useful learning experience for us. We again apologize for any misunderstandings that may have occurred. We are committed to improving every day and we’re working to better serve our customers.

One small victory for freedom in the age of accountability thanks to the internet. We consumers have a platform and a choice. Kudos to Citibank for taking note and addressing their epic #fail.

Live-Tweeting An Abortion

Last week the web went up in flames when a woman, by the name of Angie Jackson, began live-tweeting her medical abortion.

Jackson discovered she was pregnant the week prior, following the failure of her method of birth control. A single mom with a little boy, Jackson claims that she was was told that her pregnancy could cause a threat to her life and decided to abort the using the abortifacient mifepristone.

The Frisky did an interview with Jackson about the abortion:

The Frisky: What compelled you to tweet about your abortion? Why even “demystify” it for people? A lot of people consider an abortion something that should be private.

Angie Jackson: I guess I was so terrified going into this that it was going to be horribly painful, that I was going to hemorrhage. And I don’t want to be flippant that those things don’t happen [but] what I was trying to say to people who find themselves in this position is that I was relieved to find out that I had this non-surgical option [the abortion pill] and that I was early enough [in my pregnancy] to get it. I was so relieved to see how simple it’s been. The actual process has been like a menstrual period. It’s not foreign or scary.

The Frisky: You were on birth control — an IUD, correct? What happened to it?

Angie Jackson: It can fall out during heavy flow periods, which going by the dates and everything, my last period was about two-and-a-half weeks before I got pregnant, so in that period of time, I was thinking I was using protection but probably not. By the time I got the ultrasound, the IUD was not in there anymore.

The Frisky: So, you’re very blunt in the YouTube video, saying that you’re not ashamed about having an abortion. You just flat-out say, “I’m not ashamed.” Where does that come from?

Angie Jackson: I think any time that we are silent about things or secret about things, it is unhealthy. I say this as a sexual abuse survivor. When I stopped keeping secrets [about the sexual abuse] and starting telling somebody, life got better. I have kept that throughout my life And I’m an autobiographical blogger. I am very open with the internet about how I am. I am very open about who I am with parenting and mental illness … For me, this wasn’t very different. This was about me talking about who I am openly. For me, talking about things is just how I approach all the taboos of life. I think that secrecy is unhealthy. We don’t get help when we don’t talk about things. For women who do need counseling or support or love or understanding after an abortion, if they have to stay quiet out of shame, then they won’t get that help. I think talking about things really can make a huge difference.

I feel that I was reasonably responsible. This is a possible responsible answer to this problem. In my case, I do feel like this is the best decision. I talked it over with my son and my boyfriend, who are the only people besides me who get a vote. It’s still my choice, but I’m going to talk it over with the people that I love — not that my son understands it much. But I don’t see why I should be ashamed that I’m saving my life. I don’t think that I’m being a killer; I don’t feel like I killed a person. And I’m sure if I did, I would feel guilt. And that’s why [anti-abortion activists] try so hard to convince you that it is.

Here is some of the feedback she has received:

Tracie at Jezebel offered the following comments:

And while I think that what she’s doing is radically progressive and service-y (she describes in her tweets what a medical abortion feels like), I sort of wish that she didn’t feel the need to have to qualify or rationalize her decision by explaining that the pregnancy could have been detrimental to her health—although I appreciate and understand her full disclosure and honesty—because the bottom line is that it doesn’t matter why she made this choice. It only matters that she’s allowed to make this choice.

What do you think? Is this a public service or over the top?

The Theatre Date In Hollywood

February 19, 2010 Lessons, Noms, Places No Comments

Let’s get the basics of Hollywood out of the way. You’ve got a date. And you thought you’d show your theatrical side by getting tickets to The Pantages but cannot for the life of your true hipster self think of where to take your glam gal.

It’s your first date with this particular lady, and you’d rather err on the side of enchanting than chintzy.

Well, we’ve got the perfect spot for you. Yes, it may be on Hollywood Blvd., but that’s part of your contradiction, your mystery. We’re not talking feasts, here, we’re talking exotic finger food. You won’t find any spicy tuna — or sushi for that matter — only sashimi. It’s tres minimalist chic. Welcome to East Hollywood.

Start out with an obscenely delicious salad made with warm spinach, arugula, shiitake mushrooms, duck confit and Bali pepper tossed in sherry vinaigrette — all topped with crispy pancetta and roasted young candy beets. Oh sweet, savory salad…

Imagine oysters on the half-shell with Vietnamese mignonette, yuzu gelée & pickled onion. Oh, salacious sours…

Slurp scallops on the half with lemon grass sambal, wasabi créme fraîche, shiso dust & micro cilantro. Oh, succulent seafood…

Effortlessly show your refined and discriminating palate while showing you can pick a place with style. It’s a snap.

She’ll be on your arm as you meander towards the theater.

Just remember to check with the lucky lady before you hang up your pre-date phone call: “You’re not allergic to seafood, are you?”

Want more info? Read the full review at e*Star LA.

Photos by Andrew Herrold.

Esther (@estarla) is a celebrated Los Angeles food blogger and our go-to gal in all matters of where to take a date when you want to hit the town.

The Vajacial: A Facial “For Your Vagina”

February 18, 2010 Culture, web 3 Comments

The web is all freaked out about this and we can’t for our lives figure out why. The idea of applying a masque to the vulva (not vagina — the vagina is the internal part of the female genitalia) is nothing new, especially among those who use traumatic depilatory procedures like waxing.

Whatever the case, Stript Wax Bar, a California spa specializing in waxing has garnered incredible press for this service, which they call “the vajacial” and price at $60.

According to TheLuxurySpot, this vajacial can be scheduled a week after a waxing, takes about 50 minutes, and involves the following: antibacterial cleansing with witch hazel, a papaya-enriched exfoliation, ingrown hair-removal by an aesthetician, and a calming masque and a lightening cream.

Look, we’re all about TLC for the vulva, but what we really want to know is who Stript’s publicist is.

Image by chooyutshing. Information from TheLuxurySpot, via Oz Sultan.

Bacon or Sex?

February 17, 2010 News, Noms, Research 2 Comments

A recent survey suggests that Canadians prefer bacon to sex.

The survey, conducted by Angus Reid for Maple Leaf Foods, discovered 43 percent of Canadians would take the nomy goodness that is bacon over a romp.

“We wanted to probe how deeply rooted Canadians’ passion for bacon is — and the For the Love of Bacon survey sure opened our eyes!” explained Adam Grogan, their vice president of marketing.

The survey involved 1,006 randomly selected Canadian adults.

And forget Dior and Givenchy, too. The survey found that when asked to rank various aromas by preference, 23% of men ranked bacon as number one.

This totally explains the bacon-flavored lipgloss we saw in our editrix’s drawer the other day. Man-pleaser.

Image from Alltop. Information from Perishable News, via Alltop. Thanks to Heather Meeker for the tip.

The Girls of Etsy

February 16, 2010 Culture, Eyecandy, web, Women 2 Comments

Leave it to UrbanDaddy to turn the common shopping experience into a celebration of sexy. During a cursory browsing of Etsy, a site used the world over by sellers of jewelry, knits and other crafts, they noticed something spectacular: sometimes really hot girls model the wares.

Welcome to the Girls of Etsy, a concept just crazy enough to work…

That’s right—beyond the girly veneer and the crafternoon-ready hand-knit scarves, there is a hidden treasure trove of curiously attractive women modeling… things. Sexy things—like vintage swimsuits and curvy corsets and hand-made lingerie.

They’ve kicked things off by putting together a little slide show. We’re hoping someone runs with this idea. It’s brilliant.

Image from Gilda & Pearl. Information from UrbanDaddy.

The Sexual Life of Pompeii

February 16, 2010 Culture, History No Comments

In the year 79 AD the Roman city of Pompeii was buried under twenty feet of ash from a two day eruption brought on by the looming Mount Vesuvius.

As with all Roman cities, the façade of Pompeii was glorious but a long hard look at the subculture of Pompeii reveals more than beauty. One can’t help but notice the frescoes depicting Priapus with a phallus large enough to fill any hole. Streetlamps designed in erotic display set to notify the random passerby of exactly where they were located, with brothels, prostitutes, and orgies all symbolized by phallic symbols.

It kind of makes one envious of the lifestyle, even with Vesuvius about to erupt.

Pompeii would have had a difficult time promoting this promiscuous culture at any other point in history.

Caligula, Claudius, and Nero reigned from 37 to 68 AD and it was the stance of the Julio-Claudian dynasty which was so against the objective morality and family values of the newly formed Christianity that allowed sex in the ancient Roman Empire to thrive.

Historians agree that Rome did have far more sex and overshadowed Pompeii in regards to brothels and prostitution. Relative to population though — with Pompeii only having 20,000 inhabitants — the promiscuous behavior that went on in Pompeii per capita was considerably more rampant and public than anything going on over in Rome.

Even with all the symbolism in Pompeii, it’s unlikely that it was seen as taboo or as something to be hidden. Sex was simply a part of everyday culture, with subtle distinctions among the social strata much like in contemporary Western society where there are apparent yet subtle differences between rural communities and urban communities in terms of values, promiscuity and what’s considered taboo.

In Pompeii the rich had private sex orgies and the poor typically paid for lower end prostitutes. At least 75 percent of the population at the time was considered poor so most of the focus in Pompeii was around the business of brothels. That’s not to say that the high end sex clubs had no special attention of their own. High class estates had rooms built solely for group sex. Carvings and frescoes in these rooms depict sexual positions and gratification. There were even small windows looking in on these rooms so others could watch in voyeuristic delight.

Needless to say that behind the tragedy of Mount Vesuvius and what Pompeii is so widely known for there was an underground world, taboo by our standards, going on in Rome that I’m sure all of us wish we could experience if even for a day.

Image, “A painting of Priapus found in the House of the Vetti,” is public domain. For more information about Pompeii, visit the History Channel.

Anthony Licari is the editor of Lounge Nouvelle, a subculture web magazine. When he’s away from the computer you can probably find him at your local dive bar controlling the jukebox, getting into hick fights and embarrassing himself to the point where women will actually laugh in his face.

Love Stinks? Not If You’re Creative

February 14, 2010 lolz No Comments

Minnesotan Bruce Andersland created the ultimate Valentine for his wife of 37 years in their farm field: a half-mile wide heart made entirely of manure. His wife, Beth, told the Alberta Lea Tribune it’s the biggest and most original Valentine she has ever received.

“Why not do something fun with what you got?” she asked, knowing some may think it’s gross.

Image and information from TwinCities, via Jennifer Stavros.

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...