We here at Sex and the 405 are about education. We support sexual education, we support things like “oral sex” in the dictionary and so on. Generally, we believe kids should dress however they want and be allowed space in their discovery of identity. But this is ridiculous:

This is a bandeau bra for kids ages 4 to 6. It has cups and clear straps. Yeah, we get it, baby wants to be like mommy. But come on. What next? Baby corsets? We already have baby heels.

We never thought we’d hear ourselves say this but that’s just inappropriate.

Via Jessica Gottlieb.

You all know NSFW — Not Safe For Work. Or, at least you should, seeing how often we use it. Well, here’s something really clever: t-shirts for the naughty, clever, funemployed or just plain ol’ unemployed!

They were limited edition, set to discontinue on Memorial Day, but the deadline has been extended! You can get them — for men and women — at Diesel Sweeties for $15.99.

You’re welcome!

Via the LA Weekly.

Lingerie design can get pretty creative, but this piece from Syria takes the cake as far as Sex and the 405 is concerned.

Introducing the Phone Crotch:

According to the post from which we yanked this jewel, aptly titled “The Secret Life of Syrian Lingerie”:

Decorated with silk flowers, fabric birds, and plastic insects and toys, these outrageous outfits are part of the female rites of passage from virginity to womanhood and an important item for working class weddings and marriages. Feathers and fur on undergarments are symbolic of the nest, while cellphones and cartoon figures on bikinis flaunt modernity. Some of the lingerie sets border on S&M getups, while others resemble the kitsch ensembles of burlesque dancers and drag queens. However, taken as a whole, this sexy lingerie gives us a better understanding of the Syrian culture and, if you’ll pardon the pun, lifts the political veil that separates us.

Are we crazy for thinking this is creepy more because it’s not a smartphone and not because the thong essentially places a mobile in our crotches? Discuss.

Image and excerpt from Flavorwire, via Pam Mandel.

We’ve all heard of push-up bras, but how about a little lift in the trunk? That’s what the Biniki ButtBra is all about.

(We wish this were an April Fool’s joke. It isn’t.)

According to CrazySexStuff, California psychologist Dr. Karin Hart came up with the idea after she lost a lot of weight and her behind with it.

“By wrapping a strip of adhesive tape around myself in different ways I found one that worked,” Hart said. “The look it gave me was so nice I decided to make a few to wear under clothes. Most people would agree that the breasts and the buttocks look best when held high on the body. This motivates millions of women to wear a bra. There is an inconsistency though, because the backside looks good as well when high on the body, but there is no lift product. The derriere has panties, thongs, boy shorts and horizontally shaping compression, but no bra.”

And there’s a male version, too! The Maniki.

Boys… don’t you dare.

Image from Biniki Fashions. Information via CrazySexStuff.

New York City’s Neue Galerie and Estée Lauder have come together to create a work of art you can wear: fire-engine red lipstick inspired by the painting Portrait of Dancer Anita Berber by Otto Dix.

“Berlin Red” invites the mind back to the sensuality of the 1920’s Berlin and the “life without dilution,” as Dix described it. There is nothing quite like mixing beauty, art and history.

Naturally, our editrix sent out an order as soon as she heard about it (that’s right, this is totally free product placement, imagine that).

“Life’s a cabaret, baby,” she says. “Let’s kiss.”

Image of painting from About.com. Information from Vanity Fair, via @the_red_shoes.

Last year, on November 16th, the day after our fearless editrix’s birthday (and quite possibly the best day of all time), Dolce & Gabbana released their new Time ad.

The ad featured 2009’s ultimate sex obsession, the ménage-a-trois (you can all thank Sean Percival and Gossip Girl for that).

We should have reported on it, but we failed, because as we said, our editor was too busy having The Best Day Ever.

She offers her sincerest apologies — as sincere as you can get from a woman who wouldn’t have traded marathon sex to update a blog, anyway.

In penitence, we bring you some e-mail fresh from D&G’s inbox from people who are pissed about the ad — and D&G’s bitchy responses!

But first, the ad, of course:

From: Prim and proper
To: a little helper desk [D&G]
Subject: Your ad

Your new threesome ad is disgusting. I only hope you have to describe to your daughter why it isn’t appropriate to have sex with two guys even though *your* ad says it is. I can only hope you use good sense and remove this ad. By the way, good job going from a gang-rape ad to a MMF threesome ad. You are truly moving in the wrong direction.

From: better things to do [D&G]
To: Proper deranged
Subject: YOUR daughter

Keep being that kind of parent and she will most probably end up in an MMF scenario, only off-camera and in your own bedroom. At least our model was paid for it…

Best regards,
A Little Helper Desk.

+++

From: A concerned mother
To: a little helper desk [D&G]
Subject: Your filth and total lack of wisdom

I could not help but notice your site these days is pretty covered in naked torsos and various depictions of boys in underwear; upon clicking on an article promising me to help with the last minute ski preparations I subjected my sons to the pretty upsetting sight of male models virtually undressed. The way you people have of objectifying the male body is frankly vile and unsettling for young boys growing up in a world like a meatpacking district. I sincerely hope you sort yourself out and learn the meaning of the word “respectibility”.

From: better things to do [D&G]
To: The reason why your children will eventually do drugs
Subject: Two steps away from happiness

First one: buy yourself a dictionary unless you want your sons to be dysfunctional both sexually AND grammatically (hint: respectability).

Second one: Grow some balls, women have been subjected to such treatment… well, since about forever and apart from a notable few exceptions they have turned out just fine.

Best regards,
A Little Helper Desk.

PS: Find attached a few post-runway shower shots to teach your kids all about anatomy.

We can expect no less from Dolce & Gabbana, who brought us the first kiss between two men in a commercial in 2006.

What will it be for 2010? Dare we hope for plushies?

You know you love it.

Image via saksoffenderx. Information from Swide.

Milan-based footwear designer ainsley-t has taken a literal approach to “fuck me shoes.” At first glance, these shoes look like many heel-ornamented pairs we’ve seen on the runway in previous seasons. But closer inspection reveals something spectacular: the heels are butt plugs.

Take a look:

“Shoes are the only items of bondage gear that absolutely everyone possesses,” says Stuart Thom, ainsley-t’s founder, “The world is already full of so-called sexy shoes. It does not need yet another black patent leather high-heeled court. Innovation between the intersection of footwear and desire has to do something more than this, and there is space for a radical creative initiative, to make gorgeously strange footwear for a sophisticated audience.”

Hell. Yes.

Images and information via Skin Too.