Turn Your iPhone Into A Vibrator!

Sir Richard’s Condom Co. and Dog Tag teamed up recently to bring a little stress relief to the trials and tribulations of owning an iPhone. Introducing Significant Other.

Now that it is clear that even with Verizon the devices don’t work very well as far as, you know, doing the main thing mobile phones should do, Apple’s draconian, largely sex-negative App Store has decided to look the other way and allow this blatant attempt to convert the Apple iPhone into a vibrator, to slide. Uh huh. Anyway. The app has a clean interface, three speeds and a timer.

No word on how long it can go, but with an iPhone’s battery life, we’re guessing those epic marathons are not really an option. Also — how are you supposed to tune into iPink if the phone is otherwise engaged?

Ah, it’s a ploy to get you to buy an iPad.

It has all become very, very clear to us.

Via Oz Sultan

Where The Douches At?

If you’re a woman about town, there is one app you can no longer do without. Wheretheladies.at somehow managed to slip through the cracks at the Junior Anti-Sex League Mart– err, Apple Store last week and is now a hazard for the women of San Francisco — and threatening to spill south — as if we needed help with the douchery here in Los Angeles.

The app is essentially a compass that points losers in the direction of women by using female Foursquare check-ins (or dictionary crawl and permutation logic when no gender is specified). Lame. … Continue Reading

FaceTime Brings Camgirls Right to Your Phone

The studio is buzzing with girls auditioning, girls taking photos for promos, and girls camming with customers. We’re at IP4Play headquarters, a new offering on the adult entertainment landscape to bring some edge to Apple’s products. Oh, yeah. And there’s very little Steve Jobs can do about it.

Think camgirls, only they’re right there, talking to you on your phone. Thanks to FaceTime and Skype, IP4Play has a platform to make it happen. You cruise their site and take a pick among adult models, porn stars, and a handful of fresh-faced new-comers. From there, you buy some time with your girl, between five and 30 minutes (which ranges between $20 and $90), and get going. … Continue Reading

How’s Your Sex Life? There’s An App for That (Kinda)

We’re always looking for ways to give Apple the finger and allow their users to express their sexualities despite the company embargo on anything sex-related in their App Store. Time Flies, a new app for iPhone and iPad, is no different. … Continue Reading

Go Double Agent on Their Asses

You can wait in bed wondering what he’s doing on his phone that’s so important. Or why she’s up at five in the morning texting. Or you could pull a spy move and quit wondering.

There are a fair share spy apps out on the market, some more questionable than others. Some far more expensive than others. The newest high-performance, low-cost one, Secret SMS Replicator, is for Android phones. You don’t need to have an Android yourself, only the target does. (The app’s page can tell you whether your own device is compatible with the app, so check there first). … Continue Reading

An App That Lies for You

It’s hard to get a good alibi these days. Information is essential in Los Angeles, and you never know when someone’s gonna sell out your whereabouts for a photo op. Fear not, you no longer need to rely on other people.

Technology is here for you.

Told your wife you’re blowing off steam, cruising along the PCH when you’re really in a suite in Beverly Hills “getting a tour of Amsterdam”? You need iDeluxe’s Fake Call Locations iPhone app.

The app is simple: it plays ambient sounds in the background of your call, so even if you have a gorgeous blonde sucking your dick passionately between your legs or a hunk giving your ass an epic rimjob, you can still make a convincing case for the traffic, a crowd, or even the sounds of the great outdoors.

Assuming you can stifle the moans, that is. Don’t be stupid, now. The only fail possible is between the chair and the keyboard… or the touchscreen and the bed, if you will.

Did we mention you can record your own items to playback during calls? It’s technology at work for the Ferris Bueller in all of us. You know, the one all grown up now and with a Tiger Woods kind of hunger.

The Porn Library for iPad Has Arrived, Whether Steve Jobs Likes It or Not

You can try to take porn out of the technology, but you can’t take technological pioneers out of the porn industry. Somehow they will always find a way to get around you. The industry is used to barriers. They’ve been getting around them since the first dirty books were banned.

Though Apple’s Steve Jobs has been very vocal about the importance of Apple devices being free of pornography, going as far as to tell users to switch to Android if they have a problem with the liberty he has taken in making himself their parent — an ironic turn considering the Apple 1984 commercial of old. Junior Anti-Sex League, anyone? — there’s nothing he can do about this. … Continue Reading