January 21, 2010

Britney, Sugarbaby

Britney, Diary 1 Comment

I’m not a golddigger. Actually, scratch that: I’m not greedy.

I’m smart, really. All I ever wanted in my life was stability and security. If I have those two things, everything else seems to flow elegantly along in my life.

I’m actually not about playing a game with men. I’m actually turned on by money and material wealth.

If a man demanded I bend over for a grand, I would quiver all over. The idea of a man showering me in gifts makes me want to fuck all day. I’m aroused by the power and possession a man could have over me. Rip my dress and panties off. But I insist you keep the Manolos on, the ones you just bought me. I’ll play hard to get, but all you have to do is enforce your power and open your wallet. Then I’m all yours.

Fashion is my foreplay. Cars are the lube. Money is the key to my dark heart.


Not even 30 years old, and I’ve had my taste of the nuclear family life and built a business. My father could never provide. My men could never provide. In fact, I was often the sugarmomma, to my dismay. I took care of my men, who tended to be distressed or despondent amidst their menial tasks. God forbid they lift an arm or take a risk for something important. One fluttered between jobs on whim. The other was an emotional sideshow.

I’d grown emotionally detached, even moreso than I had been during my childhood. I had no room for love, as much as I truly needed and wanted it. I worked until my hands bled, until my soul felt no warmth anymore. And it filled me with an envy for the women out in the world getting what they needed at the wink of an eye or tousle of their hair. I was beautiful and talented. Why was I working so hard to please others and make them happy, all the while I was fading away? I had all the heart in the world for adventure, and desperately needed it to thrive, for my own work and business to bloom.

I decided to make a change. I have a fetish for money and power, I’m sexual, I’m young, pretty and emotionally unavailable–I have all the components to being a successful, and delightful sugar baby.

I’m single, untethered by anyone or anything.

I’m game.

This is where I will archive my experiences in the transition.

Britney du Jour (@britneydujour) blew in to Los Angeles from Wholesome USA in the name of a Hollywood-style ever-after. Now that she sees this isn’t going to pan out, she’s decided to take charge… and start charging. Check back every Thursday for posts about her journey from hard working girl-next-door to working girl. Image in this post is by missmareck.


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