For That Geek In Your Life

November 25, 2009 Culture No Comments

F Me Cufflinks


Social media is everywhere. Play into the hype with this hilarious double-entendre cufflink set, “F Me”–get it? Get it? What, you don’t think it’s funny? Fine. I’ll keep all the jokes about poking to myself. $50.00, from

Twitter Stalkings


Tweet me, Twitter me, add me, stalk me, DM, @me, tweet me, tweet me, tweet me, follow me. These stockings (or “stalkings”–get it?! OMGLOL) are perfect for the Twitter whore in your life. $23.00, from tattoo socks on Etsy.

Geek Necklace Extravaganza


Everything you could imagine from “geekmom” to “trending topic,” CouchObjects has a necklace for it. Their Etsy shop is a thing of the past, but you can shoot them an e-mail at hello [!at] and see if you can score one of their killer necklaces.

Sex in the Shower

November 25, 2009 How To, Lessons No Comments


Debby Herbernick, the sex professor and author of Because It Feels Good has some pointers for getting it on wet and wild-style:

Wet doesn’t actually mean lubricated.

“As anyone who has spent significant time in a bath tub or shower knows, warm water can dry the skin and turn us all a bit prune-like,” she says. This also applies to the vagina, so make sure that you or your partner are well-lubricated before getting started.

Not all lubricants are created equal.

Water-based lubricant is, duh, soluble in water, so it won’t work. Oil-based lubricants work best in my opinion, but these are unsafe if you’re using a condom (more about this later). The best bet for condoms and showers, then, are silicone lubes. “Silicone based lubricants are slicker, longer lasting and difficult to wash away,” Herbenick notes.

Condoms have not been tested for underwater sex.

Careful here. We don’t know how safe condoms are in water. Will they slip or break more easily? “If you are relying on condoms for the prevention of sexually transmissible infections (STI) or pregnancy, then you should perhaps stick to sex on dry land rather than sex in the shower or bath,” the sex prof says.

Positions in the shower can be challenging.

“Rather than be rigid about how sex in the shower ‘should’ be, try expanding your idea of shower play,” Herbenick says. “Why not soap each other’s bodies up, or indulge in some oral sex play, as a means of foreplay? Sex in the shower can be used to enhance excitement and arousal before you transfer to dry sex, or at least the bed, for other types of sex you might wish to engage in.”

Personally, I find sex standing, with penetration happening from behind, most effective. If there are height issues, you can easily adjust at the knees. This requires a little bit of lower body strength, but it’s worth your while if you want the full experience.

Crisis! My Friend Is Dating A Man-Eater

November 25, 2009 Help!, Lessons No Comments

My friend has been talking about this girl for months. After a while of being unable to express any emotion for anyone, it seems he’s finally found his heart. The problem? I know this girl. She’s a well-known man-eater. She went out with another friend of mine for a while, totally used him, and left him high, dry and utterly devastated. I can’t tell my friend about this other relationship because it’s supposed to be a secret and I know people in the throes of infatuation don’t really listen anyway… so what do I do?

Here’s the thing–when it comes to people, you really don’t know what’s going to happen. No matter how close we are to someone in a relationship, we don’t really know the inner workings of their union or the reasons why it didn’t work out. It’s possible you don’t have all the details, or that she’s changed, or that this man she’s dating now will revolutionize her world just as she has his. The only thing you can really do in this situation is wait and see what happens.

You might be unable to tell him about the past entanglements–either because you’ve been sworn to secrecy or because they’re hearsay and you don’t have all the information–but you can still point out things that may go down between them that you’re not in agreement with. Be there for your friend, but remember that you’re a friend and not a parent. We will all make mistakes–we have to. That’s how we learn. Stand by him and guide him to the best of your ability should issues come up between them.

That is all you can do.

Men Fall In Love Faster Than Women

November 25, 2009 News, Research No Comments

A recent study conducted for the UK’s Sunday Telegraph of 2,000 men and women has revealed that men average seven months to declare “I love you” to a partner–a full month less than women. The Telegraph reports:

Oliver James, the clinical psychologist and author, said the findings supported other studies that showed that men fall in love more frequently than women, and that they are more prone to feelings of being “swept away” by someone.

“This is because women mature sooner than men and develop to be more hard-nosed, realistic and in touch with their emotions,” he added. “So when a man says ‘I love you’ it might be his way of dealing with a lot of complex, difficult emotions that he doesn’t really understand, whereas when a woman says it, it might carry a greater weight. The classic cliché is that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love.”

Fascinating. Assuming saying “I love you,” can be taken to mean someone is actually in love.

Information via The UK Telegraph.

Unfriend: Word of the Year!

November 24, 2009 Culture No Comments

Nothing is more indicative of how prominent social networking sites have become than the fact that the New Oxford American Dictionary has selected the word “unfriend” as the word of 2009.

But that’s not the only sign of the times here–other runners up were:

hashtag: a # [pound] sign added to a word or phrase that enables Twitter users to search for tweets.

intexticated: distracted because texting on a cellphone while driving a vehicle.

netbook: a small, very portable laptop computer with limited memory.

paywall: a way of blocking access to a part of a website which is only available to paying subscribers.

sexting: the sending of sexually explicit texts and pictures by cellphone.

freemium: a business model in which some basic services are provided for free, with the aim of enticing users to pay for additional, premium features or content.

funemployed: taking advantage of one’s newly unemployed status to have fun or pursue other interests.

teabagger: a person, who protests President Obama’s tax policies and stimulus package, often through local demonstrations known as “Tea Party” protests (in allusion to the Boston Tea Party of 1773).

tramp stamp: a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman

“Unfriend” won out in the end because of its currency and longevity.

“In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for Word of the Year,” says Christine Lindberg, Senior Lexicographer for Oxford’s US dictionary program “Most ‘un-’ prefixed words are adjectives (unacceptable, unpleasant), and there are certainly some familiar ‘un-’ verbs (uncap, unpack), but “unfriend” is different from the norm. It assumes a verb sense of “friend” that is really not used (at least not since maybe the 17th century!). Unfriend has real lex-appeal.”

Lex-appeal? Now that’s hot.

Information from OUP.

Sex Writing 101

November 24, 2009 Lessons No Comments

Every once in a while, a situation calls for it. You spent the hottest night with someone and you need to commemorate it. Hey, I’m not judging, we’re all oversharers here. Not to mention, there is nothing more erotic than being immortalized by a lover in well-written prose. But how to go about writing out the hot encounter?

In celebration of the Literary Review‘s Bad Sex Awards, I’ve written a list of important points to keep in mind when making the attempt.

Of course, there is something for which Miller must be commended, and that is his utter refusal to use ridiculous metaphors and similes when describing sex. Now, I have broken this rule, but as my English 202 teacher used to say in high school, “thou shalt only break rules knowingly.” Sometimes the character from whose point of view you’re operating needs it. Fine. Whatever you do, do it intentionally and don’t you dare overextend.

Key of Pleasure. Cherry Flip. Perfect Dream. Scarlet Marvel. Heart’s Desire. Fringed Beauty. Diamond Shiner. Lovely Dream. Cream Perfection. Burgundy Lace. Treasure. Doorman’s Favorite. Wonder of Spring. Red Paradise. Blushing Beauty. Deep River. Burning Desire. King’s Mountain. Finale. Dark Secret. Flaming Torch. Ruby Prince. Explosion. Final Touch. Garden Spot. Gold Crest. Imperial Giant. The Bishop. The Skipper. Temple of Beauty. Peach Blossom. Pink Jewel. Red Bouquet.

These are the names of tulips. Let us allow them to remain the names of tulips.

Go read all10 tips for hot written sex!

Bite-Size Sex and Love Overshares

November 24, 2009 teh inetrwebz 2 Comments is social media for the oversharing sex kitten.

We all love to dish about relationships. Finally, here’s a place where you can share virtually every aspect of those sexy, messy, often complicated, but always interesting love connections. Where you can confide to friends and they confide right back. Where you swap stories from the romantic trenches and help each other claw your way out.

The site, which uses Facebook and Twitter connect (but also allows users to post anonymously), has three categories for posts: seduction, dating and breakup. You know, the natural life-cycle of a modern love affair. Only here, we get to make like Emily Gould and put it out there for all to see it.


Admit it, you already bookmarked it to scour during work.

Information from The Huffington Post.

Mall Rat Concierge

November 23, 2009 Lessons No Comments

groveWe know, we know, malls are horrible things. But there’s a chance they’re getting better–at least here in Southern California.

Introducing: the One Touch Concierge, an application for iPhone, BlackBerry or computer that allows you to make requests and get interactive service, such as arranging for a stroller, wheelchair, bell cart, making restaurant reservations, and getting movie tickets.

It’s still a mall and you will still be among the unwashed masses, but it just got a little more bearable. Who knows, you might meet someone one day who thinks semi-public sex at the mall is hot or something and be able to impress her by having the car washed while you ravage her in a changing room at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Hey, we’re not judging.

Information from LA Racked. Get it for The Grove and The Americana at Brand.

More Baby Daddy Sperm For Mom Means Healthier Spawn

A study from New Zealand has uncovered a correlation between a woman’s prolonged exposure to the semen of her baby’s father serves to protect her against pregnancy-induced hypertension and having an undersized baby.

In this study by Kho and colleagues at the University of Auckland, which was published in the Journal of Reproductive Immunology, 2,507 first-time pregnant women were interviewed about the length of their relationship with their babies’ biological fathers.

When the pregnancies came to term, pregnancy-induced hypertension was found to be less common in women who had long-term sexual relations exclusively with the biological father, than in those who had been with their partner only for less than six months.

The study also revealed that women who had undersized babies were also more likely to have been in shorter relationships with the father, but only when 20-week ultrasounds demonstrated reduced blood flow to the fetus.

Dr. Larry Chamley, a reviewer of the study, explained that in normal pregnancies, “prolonged exposure of the female immune system to paternal antigens following intercourse (without barrier contraception) [could induce] tolerance of the maternal immune system to the paternal antigens. But the exaggerated maternal inflammatory response in pre-eclampsia [pregnancy-induced hypertension] is due to a failure of the maternal immune system to down-regulate or tolerate its response to paternal antigens.”

Meaning that if you’re pregnant, more exposure to the father’s makeup enables your body to better tolerate the foreign substance that helped form that baby inside you. You know what that means, right? Enjoy the cum play.

Information via Lemondrop.

Brace Yourself For Some Bad Sex

November 20, 2009 Books, Culture 2 Comments


This was not soft porn. This was no longer two unclothed women caressing and kissing on a bed. There was something primitive about it now, this woman-on-woman violence, as though in the room filled with shadows, Pegeen were a magical composite of shaman, acrobat, and animal. It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be. There was something dangerous about it. His heart thumped with excitement – the god Pan looking on from a distance with his spying, lascivious gaze.

Phillip Roth, The Humbling

For the past 17 years, the Literary Review magazine awards authors for “rude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel.”

Unsurprisingly, Philip Roth’s totem threesome has landed him on the shortlist this year–but he’s in good company.

Nick Cave made the list with his The Death of Bunny Munro, about a nymphomaniacal door-to-door salesman (“He is naked and his clothes sit in sad, little heaps on the living room floor.”). Sanjida O’Connell, the only woman to make it, was chosen for The Naked Name of Love, about a young Jesuit priest who learns to love with a mystical shaman woman in the steppes of Mongolia (“Her skin was smooth and she felt sleekly muscled, like a dolphin might…”). Simon Van Booy’s collection of little love stories Love Begins in Winter, offered this gem: “After, we kept very still, like the only two roots of the forest.” Acclaimed Israeli novelist Amos Oz joined the list with Rhyming Life and Death: “He feels the ripples in her skin, as though he has been transformed into a delicate seismograph that intercepts and instantly deciphers her body’s reactions.”

Here’s the shortlist:

John Banville for The Infinities
Nick Cave for The Death of Bunny Munro
Jonathan Littell for The Kindly Ones
Richard Milward for Ten Storey Love Song
Sanjida O’Connell for The Naked Name of Love
Amos Oz for Rhyming Life and Death
Anthony Quinn for The Rescue Man
Philip Roth for The Humbling
Paul Theroux for A Dead Hand
Simon Van Booy for Love Begins in Winter

Image via The Stranger. Information via The Guardian UK.


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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.


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