Happy New Year! Let’s Boink!

December 31, 2009 Vitals 2 Comments

As usual, the folks over at someecards have us covered. Send your own slutty little greeting right here.

Too forward for you? Baby, it’s a blue moon! Not only is a blue moon a somewhat rare phenomenon (occurring every two and a half years or so), but this is a blue moon on New Year’s Eve! According to NASA, we haven’t seen a blue moon on the cusp of the new year since 1990! And we won’t see another until 2028!

So get over yourself and send the e-card. Or text that person and tell them to get their asses over to you and kiss you like they mean it. Yes, I’m talking to you, Colleen.

Information about the blue moon from Mashable. Thanks Sean Percival for the tip.

Eroge For The Soul: Record of Agarest War

December 31, 2009 Culture, Games No Comments

Finally! A game that understands what it’s all about!

Geeks everywhere rejoice. Well, no. Geeks in Asia and Europe have had Record of Agarest War for a one or two years already. Aksys Games, which is set to release the strategy, role-playing game here in North America recently announced that they were pushing back the date for sometime next year.

Good thing next year’s tomorrow, huh?

Image from Aksys Games. Trailer via The Escapist.

Rachael Ray on FHM’s Top 100 Sexiest Women of 2009

December 31, 2009 Culture, News, Noms, Of The Year 1 Comment

In 2003, Rachael Ray did a photo shoot for FHM at the behest of the Food Network.

She was not paid for it, but remarked that she thought it was cool that college guys brought copies of the issue to book signings.

“I thought, I’m a cook, I’m over 35 and these young guys love it,” Ray told the New York Times two years later. “When I’m 80 I’m going to look back and be like, “I represented!’”

Now, Ray is 100 on FHM‘s Top 100 Sexiest Women of 2009–proof positive that the fastest way into a man’s pants is through noms.

Image via The Glamorous Life. Information from Zennie62.

Apple’s Anti-Porn Stance Blows, Encourages Scamming

December 31, 2009 Culture, geek, Opinion, Technology No Comments

Here’s an excellent argument on the suffering we’re enduring at the hands of anti-porn Apple, by Gizmodo‘s John Herrman:

Apple has a ratings system in the App Store. It has a 17+ rating, for apps with violent, crude or sexual content—or app that have a browser function, which could be used to access objectionable content. Most of the apps above are 17+, which means that if parents so choose, they can block their iPhone-having children from even being able to download them. It follows that they could do the same for 18+ apps, so why haven’t they?

I can understand Apple not wanting to get into the porn business, which, by taking 30% of developers’ revenue, I guess they would sort of be doing. But the current setup just doesn’t make any sense. You can buy an app with a built-in browser, which can access the most horrible smut on the web, and get a 17+ rating. But if you link said app to one of those sites, and disable general browsing, suddenly it’s verboten. Again, I can understand how we ended up here, but the results, as you’ve seen, are depressing.

It’s fair to say that most people just assume there are porn apps, when there really aren’t. But there are hundreds of apps that look like porn apps, cost money, and that are, effectively, bait-and-switch scams. Apple can fix this in two ways: they can open the floodgates and just let people have their real porn apps, which would effectively kill these in-between semi-porn apps, or they can revise how the App Store works: by instituting a 24-hour open return policy for paid apps, like the Android Market has, people would simply return these worthless apps, and developers, now unable to trick people into giving them boner money, would stop making them. They would tumble down the rankings and into oblivion.

Anyway, no matter what Apple does, people will continue to look at photos of naked humans on their iPhones. It may make the company squirm, but there’s no reason to pretend it’s not happening, and to let scammers screw up the App Store more than they already have.

The system is broken, Apple. Please fix it.

Image from MapData. Information from Gizmodo.

Failed Bomber Was Plagued by Desire

December 30, 2009 Crime, News No Comments

On Christmas Day, 23-year-old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to blow up Northwest Airlines flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit. He had tailored his briefs to hold a pouch containing 80 grams of pentaerythritol tetranitrate, a powerful, if difficult to detonate, explosive.

The New York Post, always eager to get to the root of things went through postings on gawaher.com, an Islamic forum frequented by Abdulmutallab.

“The bomb wasn’t the only thing burning in his pants,” they report, offering the following selection of posts from the knicker-bomber:

“As i get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and i struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze [in the presence of unveiled women].”

“And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused . . . But i am only 18 . . . It would be difficult for me to get married due to social norms of getting to the late 20′s when one has a degree, a job, a house, etc before getting married.”

“The hair of a woman can easily arouse a man.”

“The Prophet advised young men to fast if they can’t get married but it has not been helping me much and I seriously don’t want to wait for years before I get married.”

“So usually my fa[n]tasies are about islamic stuff. The bad part of it is sometimes the fantasies are a bit worldly rather than concentrating in the hereafter.”

Information from The New York Post.

Let’s Sanitize Our Movies in The Name of Sales!

December 30, 2009 Culture, Film, News, Research 5 Comments

Sex doesn’t sell–we’re too jaded.

That’s what a recent study titled “Sex Doesn’t Sell — nor Impress! Content, Box Office, Critics, and Awards in Mainstream Cinema” is saying, after analyzing the box office success of movies containing explicit sex scenes between 2001 and 2005.

“Sex did not sell, whether in the domestic or international box office, and even after controlling for MPAA rating,” said co-author Dean Keith Simonton, who is also a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis. “In other words, even among R movies, less graphic sex is better.”

The study was prompted by an experience almost a decade ago of its co-author, Anemone Cerridwen, who, when taking acting classes, increasingly became uncomfortable with the sexual content in films.

“I assumed sex sold, and wanted to know by how much,” Cerridwen said. “I braced myself for the worst, and got quite the surprise.”

Why?

“Nothing is as shocking anymore,” says Craig Detweiler, director of the Center for Entertainment, Media and Culture at Pepperdine University. “You can see it in Britney Spears’ kiss with Madonna and Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl performance. Things that were a big controversy among some, the next generation kind of yawned at it.”

Detweiler told CNN he bears witness to a revolution by the new generation against those of time past, whose goals are “not doing drugs, not sleeping around and not getting divorced.” He thinks this is why Jane Austen films and the Twilight series are so popular today.

“Those stories are really about sexual separation,” he said. “They are all about wooing, not winning.”

The authors of the study hope that Hollywood keeps the research in mind.

“I do believe that there are a fair number of people in the film industry who want to make better films, and this study may give them some ammunition,” Cerridwen said. “I know that Hollywood has been trying to make more family-friendly films for a while (since the ’90s) and it seems to be helping ticket sales, so my guess is that this research would complement that.”

When did the presence of sex in a film make that film “bad”? Sex is human. It merits representation in our art, and that includes film.

Information from CNN, via Rita Arens.

If TMZ Had Existed In The 1950s…

JFK may have never been president. They might have known better. Look at this photo:

This is what TMZ said about it:

We believe the photo was taken in the mid-1950s. It shows two naked women jumping off the boat and two more naked women sunning on the top deck. Just below the top deck — a man appearing to be John F. Kennedy is lying on a deck, sunning himself.

TMZ had multiple experts examine the photo — all say there is no evidence the picture was Photoshopped. The original print — which is creased — was scanned and examined for evidence of inconsistent lighting, photo composition and other forms of manipulation. The experts all concluded the photo appears authentic.

There are numerous articles and books on President John F. Kennedy which mention a 2-week, Mediterranean boating trip that JFK — then a Senator — took in August, 1956, with his brother Ted Kennedy and Senator George Smathers. The trio reportedly entertained a number of women on the yacht. Jackie Kennedy was pregnant at the time and was rushed to the hospital while JFK was on the boat. Doctors performed an emergency C-section, but the infant was stillborn.

TMZ is, however, wrong.

They have posted a correction, reporting that the man is not JFK:

We’ve now confirmed the photo was part of a Playboy spread in 1967. A rep from Playboy tells TMZ the photo ran as part of story titled, “Playboy’s Charter Yacht Party: How to Have a Ball on the Briny with an Able-Bodies Complement of Ship’s Belles.” She says the photo was taken on one of the islands that make up the Grenadines (Petit Rameau).

Image and information from TMZ, via OpenSalon. Thanks to Rita Arens for the tip and Sara for the update.

Weirdest Sex News of 2009

December 30, 2009 News, Of The Year, OMGWTFBBQ 6 Comments

In February, Sheyla Hershey of Houston, Texas, proud owner of 38KKK-sized breast implants, announced she will continue to have breast augmentation surgery until she takes the Guinness World Record for biggest implants, which is currently held by 36MMM-sized Maxi Mounds.

And who could forget that April afternoon when news broke that Vince Shlomi–better known as the ShamWow Guy–got his tongue bitten by a sex worker, leading to an altercation that resulted in both parties being arrested?

When the British retailer Marks & Spencer started charging extra for bras sized DD and up, Beckie Williams–who’s a size G–started a series of protests called “Busts 4 Justice.” Her Facebook group, with some 17,000 members, forced Marks & Spencer into a frantic backpedal. In May, the policy was dropped.

In June, a woman having a torrid love affair with her boss accidentally bit off his penis while fellating him when a car rear-ended their vehicle in Shanghai. The 30-year-old managed to cough up the tip of the penis and it was successfully reattached in a hospital.

And in September, Julia Grovenburg and her husband, who’d been trying to conceive for what felt like forever, found that Julia had become pregnant… while pregnant. Superfetation, as the condition is known, is so rare, doctors know of only 10 other cases in recorded history.

And speaking of pregnancy, just this month Chilean weightlifter Elizabeth Poblete gave birth while training–without having a clue that she’d been pregnant.

Then there is Adam Manning who fondled his girlfriend’s nurse while his girlfriend was giving birth to his first-born in October. By the time his baby was born, the nuclear douche was sitting in a Utah county jail.

How about some liberty? In October 29-year-old Erick Williamson was convicted of indecent exposure for being seen by neighbors cutting through his yard while he was sipping his morning coffee in the buff. The judge did not fine or sentence him.

In November, Allison Henry, a 39-year-old school psychologist from Kenmore, Washington, came forth with her story about living through a vaginal prolapse, a condition in which the vagina, uterus, rectum, bladder, urethra and small intestine shift and may “fall out of the body.”

Also in November, a man by the name of Rodell Vereen, who’d to register as a sex offender after being convicted for getting down with a horse in 2007 was caught again–with the same horse! The 50-year-old was sentenced to three years in prison, and the judge has banned him from going near a stable for life.

Information from The Sphere.

Miss Jones is Back–And The Devil Sounds Like Hope Sandoval

December 30, 2009 Culture, Music No Comments

In the 70s, Georgina Spelvin starred in a flick that has become iconic in the porn genre: The Devil in Miss Jones.

Directed by Gerard Damiano, who had worked on Deep Throat a year prior, The Devil in Miss Jones is a perverse tale of abandon and despair that perfectly encapsulates my greatest fear: a life of release that meets a tragic end in the eternal fire of indifference.

Spelvin, now 73, is back, in Massive Attack’s “Paradise Circus” video. Toby Dye creates a masterful montage of an interview with the porn actress and scenes from the film, where she is 36.

It is a bizarre mind trip buoyed on the sweet vocals of Massy Star’s Hope Sandoval that exposes an aspect of the adult entertainer in a way no music video ever has.

Watch for yourself (or, if you’re at work or otherwise unable, read the transcript below):

Massive Attack Paradise Circus from sabakan on Vimeo.

Spelvin: I, at one time tried my hand at being a prostitute–you know, doing tricks for money with a very nice madam and just completely bombed. I just was no good at it. I absolutely could not manufacture the excitement, the sexual excitement i needed in order to have sex. So plenty people would ask me how could you do it in front of a camera then? The truth of it, when there is a camera running, it is so thrilling. God help me, I love the camera.

Sandoval: It’s unfortunate that when we feel a storm, we can roll ourselves over ’cause we’re uncomfortable. Oh where the devil makes us sin but we like it when we’re spinning in his grip.

Spelvin: The fact that it was a fuck film–I was frightened to begin with. But there is something about making a movie when you are in the film set. Anything is possible. The narrative of sex–of course first there is attraction: our hearts beat fast and our palms get sweaty and I get a tingle on the outside of my arms. Foreplay: getting to know each other, and knowing exactly what the other person’s sexual triggers are, whether it’s the little spot behind the ear, the inside of the elbow, the kiss on the neck, the flittering of the tongue across the clitoris.

Sandoval: It’s unfortunate that when we feel a storm, we can roll ourselves over when we’re uncomfortable. Oh, well the devil makes us sin but we like it when we’re spinning in his grip.

Spelvin: Oh, boy. An orgasm is that point in time that can’t be measured. A mystical instant that doesn’t really exist in this dimension.

Sandoval: Love is like a sin, my love, for the one that feels it the most. Look at her with a smile like a flame–she will love you like a fly will never love you, again.

Spelvin: I will have to confess that the eroticism and excitement being expressed was very deliberate. It’s not something that I said oh my god this is the most wonderful thing in the world, I can’t wait to do this again. Probably the most uncomfortable and humiliating thing I’ve ever done on film. But nonetheless there I was because the truth of it is: I love the camera. We are our own devil.

This is a single from Massive Attack’s album Heligoland, due out February 9.

Image from IMDB.

Sexual Conflict: A Twisted Screw

December 29, 2009 News, Research 1 Comment

Patricia Brennan has been interested in the weirdness of duck genitals for years. Why are drake penises corkscrew shaped? Why are they so long? Discovery’s Carl Zimmer reports:

As Brennan dissected duck penises, she began to wonder what the female sexual anatomy looked like. If you have a car like this, she said, what kind of garage do you park it in?

Brennan discovered that female ducks have equally weird reproductive tracts (called oviducts). In many species, they are ornamented with lots of outpockets. And like duck penises, duck oviducts are corkscrew-shaped. But while male duck penises twist clockwise, the female oviduct twists counterclockwise.

Brennan speculated that all this bizarre anatomy is the result of a peculiar form of evolution known as sexual conflict. A strategy that allows females to reproduce the most offspring may not be so good for males, and vice versa. For example, male fruit flies inject their mates with lots of chemicals during sex, and those chemicals make her less receptive to other males, thereby boosting his chances of fathering her eggs. But those chemicals are harsh and will make female flies sick. Females, in turn, have evolved defenses against those chemicals, blunting their effects.

With many examples of sexual conflict in nature, Brennan wondered if sexual conflict between male and female ducks was giving rise to their weird genitals. Female ducks pair off with male partners for the breeding season, but they also get harrassed by other males, sometimes being forced to have sex (and sometimes dying from the attacks). A third of all duck matings are forced.

And yet only 3 percent of the ducklings that female ducks produce come from such forced matings. Brennan speculated that the female ducks can block forced copulations with their mismatched spirals. And they might also be controlling which drake got to fertilize their eggs by socking away the sperm of different mates in different pockets. And the extravagant penises of males might be the result of an evolution around those defenses.

Now we have video showing how it all works, too. (And it’s not really safe for work!)

Eversions in barriers / from blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom from Carl Zimmer on Vimeo.

Image by AV Flox. Information from Discovery, via Gizmodo.

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...