Dancing With The Porn Stars

February 5, 2010 Porn No Comments

As testament to the awesome power of fanfic, Hustler’s appetite for parody continues with This Ain’t Dancing With the Stars XXX, a nod to Dancing With the Stars as well as David Letterman, Lindsay Lohan and David Hasselhoff.

Scarlett Fay plays Lohan, who seduces her dance instructor in the film, and Otto Bauer’s Hasselhoff sexes up the dance floor with a racy tango.

“My buyers get a kick out of the spins we put on these television shows and movies,” says Hustler national sales manager David Diamond.

We bet.

Image from preview video, via Popcrunch. Information from HustlerWorld.

Valentine’s Day: Kinky Extravagance

February 5, 2010 accoutrement, Lessons No Comments

Past the understated gate, you find yourself in a large, lush garden. Walk past the fountain, into a dimly lit house, a mixture of modern lines and decadent sensuality.

You’re at Kiki de Montparnasse on Melrose, a store devoted to the fulfillment of our passions, named after Man Ray’s long-time lover, darling of the 1920s Paris social scene and muse to many an artist.

Inside its sleek, softly-lit interiors you’ll find lingerie, sex toys, desire-enhancing kits and sexy reads.

“The whole decadent vibe seems designed to be alluring even to the rich, uptight and squeamish who, in the past, may have shied away from the trappings of bondage because they seemed too garish and sleazy,” Cintra Wilson wrote for the New York Times.

We won’t mention sources, but Cintra knows bondage, garish and sleazy, so we trust her. But we needn’t go blindly into this — one look at Kiki’s Valentine’s Day offerings is enough to confirm that if you’re in the mood for a spiced up session of unadulterated desire-exploration, you’ve come to the right place.

(We have it on good authority that you’re not part of our editrix’s echelon of favorites until one of Kiki’s little black boxes finds its way to you — by messenger, of course, and preferably while you’re out at dinner. With someone else.)

Our personal favorite is this pair of 24k gold-dipped handcuffs, priced at $350. For jewelry or play — isn’t functionalism awesome?

Image by Atherton Bartelby.

OMGLOL, We’re Standing On Seaman and Cumming!

February 5, 2010 Culture, web No Comments

Somewhere inside us is an annoying 12-year-old who still LOLz uncontrollably at any term or thing that even remotely implies sex or genitalia. We all have one — it was just a matter of time before this impulse took life.

Welcome to Things That Are Doing It, a blog devoted to pictures that are sure to send that inner 12-year-old into a mad fit of giggles. From their about page:

Hey, you know what’s everywhere? Peens and Va-jay-jays! They’re out there drawn on the sides of cars, being made out of vegetables and sneakily tucked into advertisements. Hell, take a walk through a nice wooded grove, ten bucks says you see something that looks like a wang. I know I would. I see genitals everywhere, I suffer from wicked-dirty-mind disease. Just right here on my desk I see two boobs, a scrotum and some lady-junk. Luckily my sense of humor has been arrested since grade school, so I think all of this is hilarious. If you don’t, might I suggest drinking half a bottle of whiskey and then giving the site another look.

There you have it. Enjoy — we certainly are.

Via UrbanDaddy.

Valentine’s Day: DIY e-card

February 4, 2010 Lessons, Relationship 2 Comments

Remember when we actually did stuff ourselves? When was the last time you made a mix for someone? Mix tapes are a thing of the past, but it’s not just the tapes that seem to have gone with the Dodo, it’s also the investment of time and creativity. And why bother, really, when you can easily have flowers you’ve never seen delivered with a few clicks, share a Pandora station with another, shoot off a ready-made e-card this Valentine’s Day with one more?

We here at Sex and the 405 think it’s time to make a return to the individual. To this end, we bring you Animoto, a Webby and SXSW-winning web application that turns your photos and video clips into little films for your personal enjoyment. You can use it to make 30 second videos for free, or cough up $30 for a year of full-length video creation.



Grab a bunch of photos and video clips and make a quick little side show with the sort of speed you’d expect from these fast times, but just a little more personality.

You’re welcome.

REMEMBER! Privacy Must Be Set

February 4, 2010 Culture, teh inetrwebz, web 3 Comments

Facebook — mystical place where connections are forged, friends are kept, lovers are explored, relationships are destroyed, positions are obtained, and jobs are brutally lost. Now more than ever. Let me tell you a story.

My phone rang. It was 3AM and I was home riding a deadline, but it was my friend Lindsay, so I picked up.

“OMGSHE’SONMYPROFILE,” she screamed. I could barely hear her between the slurring and the noise in the background.

“OK, calm down. Who, what, why, where, when and how.”

As she talked, I put the pieces together. The man she’s seeing has a crazy ex-girlfriend who’s devoted herself to stalking Lindsay. Lindsay had taken the appropriate measures, but hadn’t bothered to check Facebook — why should she? Facebook is supposed to be safe, right?

Wrong. Late last year, Facebook executed a privacy pullback that essentially screwed all of us. Under the guise of making privacy settings on the social network easier to set and control, Facebook — from one day to the next — made everything on our profiles public. Even those of us very involved with changes in social networks took a while to figure out how to restore order and privacy.

Hell, even Mark Zuckerberg had his embarrassing candids exposed after Facebook put on all these fabulous new privacy controls.

He’s the CEO of Facebook, people.

Why did they do this? Ryan Tate summarized it perfectly in Valleywag in December:

Facebook’s business rationale here is clear. Rival Silicon Valley startup Twitter has grown extremely quickly in the last few years, almost entirely on the back of public content — from celebrities, people’s friends and users’ professional colleagues. That has brought traffic, money from search engines and a $1 billion valuation.

Facebook wants in on that kind of growth, and more public content means more traffic. But Facebook has historically been one of the most private of the social networks, functioning as a sort of safe alcove amid the chaos of MySpace and Friendster.

So Facebook needed to give users a big shove to put its business plan into play. As startup founder Jason Calacanis puts it,

Facebook is trying to dupe hundreds of millions of users they’ve spent years attracting into exposing their data for Facebook’s personal gain: pageviews. Yes, Facebook is tricking us into exposing all our items so that those personal items get indexed in search engines–including Facebook’s–in order to drive more traffic to Facebook.

But it’s not just that Facebook is tricking its users; it’s betraying them.

Simple as that. So there I was, with a hysterical, drunken woman on the phone late one night.

“I don’t know how to change my settings on my phone!” she screamed. “I want her off, AV! GET HER OFF ME!”

“Give me your password.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I logged in and changed everything to the most restrictive setting. Better to shut everyone out than leave a door open. I even changed her profile picture (you can never make that friends-only, even if your profile picture album is).

The reason I’m telling you this is as a courtesy. There is a way to see how people can view your profile. Take a second to check it out and make sure it looks the way you’d like it to look whether it’s your boss, parents, kids, spouse, or that hottie you were talking at the bar last night.

If you have difficulty navigating the new settings, I suggest Valleywag’s Guide to Restoring Your Privacy on Facebook. They have great tips, complete with screen shots.

I know it’s a pain in the ass, my sweet flytraps of decadence and delight, but take the time to read the notices from social networks where you really share yourself. We’ve all heard the horror stories about firings and divorces as a result of inattention to our social network profiles.

Facebook and other social networks may have populations that compare to some of the biggest countries in the world, but they are not democracies. You have no rights. Nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. If it’s really incriminating, take it offline. Otherwise, be vigilant. Make sure you keep up on terms of service changes and upgrades. And every once in a while, take a look at your profiles when you’re not logged in to get a sense of what others are seeing.

It takes a few minutes but it will save you on a hell of a lot of nosebleeds. Trust me on that.

(Of course, if you’re in the mood for a nosebleed, go ahead and read this: The Facebook Privacy Settings You’ve Lost Forever.)

Giving Birth in California Is DANGEROUS

The mortality rate of California women who die from causes directly related to pregnancy has nearly tripled in the past decade and the state Department of Public Health has for the past seven months declined to release a report outlining the trend.

The investigative journalist group California Watch, spoke with investigators who wrote the report and they confirmed the spike in deaths related to pregnancy since the 1930s.

While the number of deaths is relatively small, it is now more dangerous to give birth in California than it is to do so in Kuwait or Bosnia.

Per the article on CaliforniaWatch:

“The issue is how rapidly this rate has worsened,” said Debra Bingham, executive director of the California Maternal Quality Care Collaborative, the public-private task force investigating the problem for the state. “That’s what’s shocking.”

The problem may be occurring nationwide. The Joint Commission, the leading health care accreditation and standards group in the United States, issued a “Sentinel Event Alert” to hospitals on Jan. 26, stating: “Unfortunately, current trends and evidence suggest that maternal mortality rates may be increasing in the U.S.”

The alert asked doctors to consider morbid obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes, along with hemorrhaging from C-sections, as contributing factors.

In 2007, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that the national maternal mortality rate had risen, but experts such as Dr. Jeffrey C. King, who leads a special inquiry into maternal mortality for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, chalked up the change to better counting of deaths. His opinion hasn’t changed.

“I would be surprised if there was a significant increase of maternal deaths,” said King, who has not seen the California report.

But Shabbir Ahmad, a scientist in California’s Department of Public Health, decided to look closer. He organized academics, state researchers and hospitals to conduct a systematic review of every maternal death in California. It’s the largest state review ever conducted. The group’s initial findings provide the first strong evidence that there is a true increase in deaths – not just the number of reported deaths.

Changes in the population – obese mothers, older mothers and fertility treatments – cannot completely account for the rise in deaths in California, said Dr. Elliott Main, the principal investigator for the task force.

Image by Beverly. Information from CaliforniaWatch, via Alternet.

Between Escort and Endorsement

February 3, 2010 Hollywoody, News No Comments

For the past 19 years and much to the distaste of Austria’s polite society, Richard Lugner has paid for celebrity dates to the Vienna Opera Ball. The dates — everyone from Sophia Loren to Paris Hilton to Dita Von Teese — are paid $150,000 to sign autographs at one of his malls, attend the ball with him, ruffle some feathers and generally allow themselves to become profile-boosting tabloid fodder for the 77-year-old billionaire.

This year, Lugner is taking Lindsay Lohan, whose handlers have apparently been making it hell on earth for Lugner’s people. Lohan is not allowed to see a drop of alcohol while she’s out with the businessman, his 20-year-old girlfriend, his 16-year-old daughter and his daughter’s boyfriend.

No funny business is expected from the stars, we’re assured.

Information from the New York Post.

Do You Take It In The Ass? (NSFW)

February 3, 2010 Advertising, Culture, web 3 Comments

A question we’re sure a lot of people wish they could ask on a first date, but tend not to. As with anything that might be important to you, we here at Sex and the 405 think you should certainly ask. Don’t let them kid you, sexual compatibility is important in a relationship:

We are going to have this song stuck in our heads all day. The least we could do is share.

You’re welcome!

Via Peter Shankman.

Sid Vicious Died Today, 31 Years Ago

February 2, 2010 Culture, History, Music, Vitals No Comments

Sid Vicious, bassist for the Sex Pistols: a kid, an icon, a tragedy, a legacy. He defined a generation and the radiation from its zeitgeist-shattering explosion can still be felt today.

You know, if you look hard enough under the VersaSpa tans, over-processed vocals, and senseless Top 40 hits.

Oh, who are we kidding? You can’t. It’s mostly shit. Glittering, beautiful shit, but shit. The only motif that persists is drugs, but even that doesn’t really hit us the way it should — the paparazzi bulbs are too bright. It’s an expected disaster, all of it.

Other generations were defined by their music — it was the battle cry, the unifying force. We’re too bored, ADD and apathetic. It’s like we have nothing to fight for; we grew up with too much handed to us and now all we can do is sit around and bitch on Twitter. That’s our legacy. Bitching on Twitter.

Yeah, we saw your Grammy tweets. At least Taylor Swift is singing. At least Pink is swinging. At least Lady Gaga is pounding a piano and Beyoncé is hair-swishing.

We here at Sex and the 405 have an assignment for you today: do something. Actually take a stance by doing. Kiss someone, punch someone, make something.

Just, you know, don’t stab anyone.

Image from Mudkiss Magazine. Reminder via Robert Ebert.

We’ll Miss You, Black Heart

February 2, 2010 Editrixial, Opinion 2 Comments

Almost a decade ago, a woman named Laura Roberts reached out to me with some compliments on my blogging skillz (has it been that long? Jeez). She was also a blogger and also interested in sex. Soon, we had developed a correspondence — about writing, about sex, about writing about sex — and when Laura launched the web zine Black Heart Magazine in 2004, I was one of the first people she asked to submit a piece.

Eventually, I’d join the Black Heart team as a sporadic columnist and sex news reporter, or, what Laura called “in-house badass.” Without any hesitation about the combination of sex and cultural commentary, Black Heart ran four shorts from my series on consumerism and apathy in America, an ode to Hunter S. Thompson aptly titled Reverse Cowgirl: A Savage Thrust into the Cunt of the American Dream.

That was the thing about Black Heart — it was sex, yes, even shallow, just-in-it-to-get-off sex — but it wasn’t afraid to be smart, either. That’s what I liked best about the rag. Whether she was flashing her tits for cheap thrills or charity or getting into huge arguments with Vladimir Nabokov’s son about the legacy of Lolita, Laura Roberts made Black Heart a combination of the filthiest gutter and ivory tower.

In the years that Black Heart was running, whether I was writing or not, Laura and I kept in touch. We talked about how hard it was to monetize content like ours, to herd around writers who were doing it more for the love than for the money, to keep the content of a publication consistent with its original vision even though you, the person running it, are not static.

I learned more about running a blog from Laura and Black Heart than from just about anyone or anything else on the web. And that’s saying something considering the kind of web pioneers I count as my nearest and dearest.

So even if you have no idea what Black Heart Magazine was, know this: if you like this blog, if anything you have read here, has offered you absolutely anything, then you owe a thank you to that little zine.

The Black Heart chapter is closed now. Laura has moved on to other things. We’ll make a valiant effort to continue the tradition of mingling the filthiest gutter and ivory tower.

You’ll be missed, Black Heart. And thank you for everything. Especially this:

We’re humbled and honored.

Facebook

Add our page on Google+!

Keep up with everything we're covering right in your stream. Please note this page is limited to users 18+.

Featured

Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

Masthead

Send us news!

Editrix-in-Command:
AV Flox

In-House Theologian:
Robert Fischer

Eros and Desire Scholar:
Dawn Kaczmar

Scientific Consultant:
Jason Goldman

East Coast Liaison:
Jackie Summers

Arch-Nemesis:
Barbie Davenporte

Read about the contributors we've had over time on our staff page.

Follow SAT405 on:
Twitter
Facebook

RSS

Hosted by (mt)

About

Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...