Thinking of You: Zagat for Penises

March 22, 2010 lolz 1 Comment

We here at Sex and the 405 think it’s vital to let people know how much you adore them, so we’ve created a special new section showcasing the best of the web when it comes to showing your love.

This week’s jewel comes to you via someecards, the epitome of cool when it comes to e-cards.

Click on it to send it to someone you dig!

Loud Sex? Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

March 22, 2010 Freedom, News No Comments

Last year we told you about a couple in the UK that got into trouble with the authorities for having loud sex. The wife, Caroline Cartwright, avoided jail in January after a judge handed her a suspended sentence. She’d already spent eight weeks locked up.

It’s only been two months, but the couple are all over the news again for the same infraction.

Cartwright, 49, has been arrested by police and thrown back into the bail hostel to keep her away from her husband Steve, 48, while the courts decide how to address the issue.

“This is just ridiculous,” she said. “It was just for 10 minutes at around 10:15AM on a Sunday morning. You couldn’t hear that much because the bed is downstairs in the dining room and not in the bedroom. The police came on Monday night to arrest me and lock me up. I spent the night in the cells and appeared at Houghton-le Spring Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday. They said they believed I had breached the Asbo [the four-year ban that prevented her from making excessive noise anywhere in England and Wales] again because two neighbors said they heard us. It was only 10 minutes, not like the two hour sessions we used to have. I’m now back in the hostel where I was before. I call it my holiday home. I’m not allowed back at my house until this is sorted out.”

According to the Telegraph, Cartwright is at the hostel and on bail until her committal hearing on May 13.

“This is causing stress on our marriage,” Cartwright said of the situation. “We aren’t doing it as much as we used to because it’s not exactly relaxing knowing that everyone is listening for you to make a noise. We aren’t even sleeping together every night because I have been in a hostel for so long that I’ve got used to sleeping alone.”

Image and information from the Telegraph. Via CrazySexStuff.

Do Men Only Want Sex?

March 21, 2010 Culture 1 Comment

A piece by Jack Summers at F*cking In Brooklyn addresses an old question in a deeply entertaining way. An excerpt:

According to Kinsey, 54% of men think about sex several times a day, and that study was done before the advent of the internet. Personally I find this statement grossly underestimated. In the time it takes for me to formulate this sentence, I myself will have conceived of no less than seven scandalous scenarios, fondly recalling recent raucous romps and fantasizing over future salacious shenanigans; a veritable cavalcade of carnal cravings, a… wait, what was I talking about?

Oh yes: sex. Of course we want it all the time, and (news flash) so do women. The idea that men only want sex and women only want love is an antiquated concept I’d love to see go the way of the dodo. We’d like to think we’ve evolved beyond base desires, but let’s not kid ourselves. We’re not humans trying to embrace our animal nature. We are animals, trying to embrace our human nature. And that, with limited success.

Read the whole thing. You’ll dig it.

Excerpt from F*cking In Brooklyn. Via Mike Masters (who else?).

Bacon-Vanilla Shake

March 21, 2010 bacon!, Culture, Noms No Comments

Brooks Bayne is a typical L.A. slasher: he’s an entrepreneur, technologist and conservative thinker who spends most of his time poking fun of liberals and satirizing popular culture on Twitter.

His antics have garnered the Tennessee transplant over 100,000 followers on the popular social media platform — and he’s going strong.

We like him because his gun-toting, BBQing, in-your-face approach to everything from work to play reminds us of what an alpha male used to be, before we watered him down and made him fat free, soy organic.

We asked him what his secret was and he imparted something spectacular to us: the recipe for his infamous bacon-vanilla shake.

3 cups Breyer’s vanilla ice cream
2-3 pieces of extra crispy bacon
1/4 cup half and half

Blend away and serve in a manly glass. You’re welcome.

Image by Yesica.

Pussy Power

March 21, 2010 Diary, Raymond No Comments

She strips down unceremoniously. She takes her pants off, and then her shirt. Lies back on the bed, waiting, wearing a bra and panties that must be three or four years old. We’ve been together long enough that we’ve become this way. The blood has begun to slide down the interior of my cock. It’s not an urgent feeling. Not yet. My balls generate a light surge of sperm, which I can feel as though it’s coming from underneath me.

But I’m not getting hard. Not yet.

I won’t get erect until I have what I really want: her juices all over my face. It begins with the smell. Her scent has become the most powerful substance on earth. I kiss her lightly on the mouth and position myself above her. But in my mind, I’m already moving down.

I run my fingers over her skin. Reach around and unclasp the bra. Her breasts are free, she lies back again. They rest on her chest. I stroke them lightly. Run my tongue over them. Yet this is preamble; I’m ready now to begin the feast. I pull her panties from her, she shakes her hips with a slight wiggle to help.

And there it is: the object of my desire. I don’t know if she realizes how beautiful she is in this moment. Her vulva is pink and beginning to bloom red.

Her pussy has personality. It has power.

Oh-so-gently I bring my tongue to the hood. I raise it, my tongue erect. I let the middle of my tongue engage her. Slowly, waiting for what will happen next. And there it is… Slick, warm nectar. She moans, but I know it’s only the first throes of release — inhibition beginning to fall aside.

Now my cock is alert. Now we’ve arrived where we should be. I stroke — delicately — the interior of the lips. Red, red, red. These lips speak to me. I kiss them, and I drink her taste in.

The smell is pungent and permeates the room. It is the smell of life, of urgency, and it is a warm smell more powerful than that of any fire.

I move my face forward. There are so many things I can do to please her at this moment… And I will do them, eventually. First I must take in this moment, as the slickness of her insides now embrace my mouth, my cheeks, my nose. I nestle my face there for less than a second, not wanting to get too lost in it. I let the warmth run over my right cheek.

For a moment now we will have the greatest kiss. I run my tongue inside her, coaxing more of her onto me. My hands reach out, palms on the bed. I lift myself to her face and slide my tongue into her mouth. She kisses me back, also drinking it in. We are reaching a frenzy of yearning. Our faces rub along each other, cheek to cheek. The smell is that of everything we want. She moans. Hungry. At this moment that taste is the divine.

Raymond Burns is an esoteric indie film professional living in Los Angeles. Raymond is a social animal who loves every inch of the female form. He comprehensively appreciates the quiet aftermath of a woman’s orgasm. He hangs a bit to the left.

Image courtesy of the Sex and the 405 archives.

Why Do Cheaters Text?

March 20, 2010 Culture 1 Comment

“Why the hell do cheaters text?” Jessica asked me. “It’s proven to be the number one way to get caught!”

A piece on amNewYork in relation to the Jesse James and Tiger Woods scandals cited some experts.

New York psychotherapist Jay P. Granat told the paper people do it because “there’s an unconscious desire to get caught” and because “they’re living on the edge some more” by leaving a trail of their infidelity.

Is this really the reason? People secretly want to get caught and live even more on the edge? Our editrix crowdsourced the question on Twitter. Here’s a sampling of the main reasons mentioned:

What do you think? We’ve been discussing this all day in the newsroom and our conclusions seem to be that people who become engrossed in one another experience a temporary insanity that leads them to believe that they will never get caught. It’s a superiority complex that flies in the face of reason and causes the involved parties to engage in all manner of completely negligent behavior such as texting, calling, holding hands while walking around Rodeo Dr., etc.

What do you think?

Warning! Student Endangers Others With His Fluids

March 20, 2010 Culture, Freedom, News, Nudity No Comments

A student over at the University of Hawaii-Manoa has made a splash in the national media over the week following a warning from the campus about the student’s “performance art.”

Per Queerty:

Since at least January, Tim, a gay 22-year-old senior at the University of Hawai’i-Manoa, has been recording himself masturbating, and uploading the videos to Xtube. He goes by the username “SpeedoStudent1,” which represents his fetish for all things Speedos, Lycra, and jocks; he got his first Speedo at age 19 and has been hooked ever since.

Tim has caused a ruckus on campus by filming some of his endeavors in school buildings, prompting the school to issue a warning in the student newspaper:

A UH student has been endangering students by leaving his body fluids on desks in many classrooms. His blog, Hawai’i Speedo Student, shows pictures and videos of himself masturbating in buildings such as Kuykendall, Moore, Webster, Physical Science, Watanabe and possibly more. He is currently being investigated for violating student conduct codes. Please take appropriate precautions like disinfecting desks and washing hands frequently. He is self-described as 5 foot 7 inches with frizzy blond hair, blue eyes and a slim build. Do not attempt to approach the student. If you notice him or anyone else exhibiting sexually deviant and psychotic behavior, call Campus Security at (808) 956-6911.

Tim, who blogs at Hawaii Speedo Student and who describes his videos and photos as art, commented on intolerance:

I continue to be absolutely amazed by the outpouring of intolerance and abusiveness provoked by my departure from normative behavior. It’s very strange, very alien to me. Rather than contenting themselves with finding my actions offensive or inappropriate, many of the commentors on this blog and other articles take things a step further. Somehow they see their own disgust as a legitimate reason to criticize or penalize me.

Instead of recognizing that a behavior they may not choose to participate in themselves can be a perfectly normal means of expression for another, they are unable to tolerate the existence of an alternative viewpoint. (Some go so far as to demand that I be suppressed by burning – witch trials, anyone?) But remember, tolerance is not just for big issues. Tolerance goes far beyond merely stopping the lynching of black males or the jailing of homosexuals.

Tolerance is the ability to accept all opinions, all behaviors as equally valid, regardless of your personal feelings about them; to understand that your ethical or moral framework and judgements apply to you and you alone; and to realize that even holding the same opinion as a majority of others does not give you the moral authority to force your views on the dissenters.

That is true tolerance, which can only be observed in actions and not expressed in words. So far I have met remarkably few people capable of practicing it.

Image from Hawaii Speedo Student. Information via the Huffington Post.

The Oscar Curse, $30k and a Girl Named McGee

March 19, 2010 Hollywoody, Scandal! 1 Comment

We’re full of weird superstitions in this town, and the Oscars carry with them more than their fair share. On everyone’s lips right now is The Best Actress Curse. Celebritology’s Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly explain: “What’s the best actress curse? It’s the well-tread theory that when a woman wins an Academy Award for her stellar leading performance, that same woman should expect to split from her significant other sometime shortly after they return from the Vanity Fair after-party.”

The latest victim, as you have already heard, being proper TMZ culture vultures, is Sandra Bullock. Bullock, who recently won an Academy Award for her role in The Blind Side, moved out of her Southern California home following an exclusive in In Touch about her husband’s affair with camgirl and exotic dancer Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

According to McGee, she believed James and Bullock were separated:

“I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man,” Michelle tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. “He gave me the impression they were separated.”

While Jesse was in Atlanta with Sandra when she started to film The Blind Side, Michelle sent West Coast Choppers a friend request because she hoped to snag a modeling gig there. She was surprised that it was actually Jesse who wrote back to her and told her to e-mail him at his personal e-mail.

From the start, Jesse wanted to meet Michelle, and it was never about business: “He started saying, ‘Do you want to hang out?’” So a week after he got in touch, Michelle drove two hours from her San Diego home to West Coast Choppers in LA.

“I got there around 9 at night,” remembers Michelle, who was starstruck at first. “I was like, ‘Holy s**t. It’s really Jesse James.’”

After taking Michelle on a tour of his garage, Jesse brought her into his office and locked the door.

“We ended up on the couch,” she says. “He wanted to watch movies, but I asked him, ‘What’s going on with you and Sandra?’ He said, ‘She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it.’”

Assuming he and Sandra were separated, Michelle continued talking to Jesse, she says, and then, “We had intimate relations.” Michelle says she and Jesse had sex “two or three times,” that night — and began what she believed was a serious relationship, texting each other several times a day, and meeting up for sex at least twice a week for the next five weeks.

Mary Gusman, close friend of McGee’s told Radaronline.com that McGee felt betrayed by James.

“Jesse James did kind of deceive her because she really honestly was under the impression that he and his wife were living in different houses,” Gusman said. “It’s really true that she believed him and his wife were going separate directions.”

According to Technorati, McGee collected close to $30,000 for her exclusive to In Touch.

As for James, he issued an ambiguous apology. According to a report from E! Online, the television star had the following to say:

“There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve every bad thing that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

James makes no mention of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee or any specific crimes against his family. And he’s not planning on doing so.

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.”

Photo from TMZ. Information from In Touch and other sources as referenced.

Needed: Something Like Yelp, But For People

March 19, 2010 Culture, web 1 Comment

Jamie Varon over at the L.A. tech blog lalawag recently voiced a thought that has occurred to us all at one point or another: a Yelp-Foursquare type of hybrid to rate people we date and sleep with so that we can get the vitals before we go too far to turn back:

So, I’m thinking something along the lines of a Yelp check-in thing:

“You have checked into Gloria’s vagina. There are thirteen reviews and her overall rating is 3 1/2 stars. Please see the Quick Tips for her erogenous zones and what she’d like to eat after having sex with you. She prefers you leave after twenty minutes of cuddling. She’s not looking for a serious relationship, but would prefer you take her out to dinner every once in a while. Would you like to meet her Regulars? Would you like to leave a review? How about emailing Gloria’s vagina to a friend?”

What would this look like? We set our designers to do a quick mock-up for our editrix for shits. Click the below image to enlarge:

Durex Ads: Um, WTF?

March 19, 2010 Advertising, Culture 1 Comment

Advertising commentators are all about this Durex ad campaign by the German designer Andrej Krahne, but we here at Sex and the 405 have a question: why is the woman made up of shiny happy words while the man is made of neutral or negative ones?

We hate to get all Jezebel on this, but just what message is Durex sending? That women feel no exertion during sex and that they exert no judgment or wisdom? And what’s with the fruits? Fruits? Really?

Let us tell you something, Durex — no matter how much we love sucking dick, we’re not thinking “happy, happy, happy, happy, happy” while administering a blowjob. Sorry to break it to you.

Oh, and we’re still confused about those fruits.

Images from Durex, via Penn Olson.

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Gamers Won’t Be Seduced, Will Stare At Random Cleav Instead

That Steam allows the objectification and sexualization of female characters in a variety of its games but refuses to accept a game about actually engaging with women in a more interactive fashion is astonishingly backward.

FetLife Is Not Safe for Users

That the site doesn’t take measures to protect user content and has shown incompetence or negligence in regard to user privacy, all the while prohibiting victims from warning others about predatory behavior creates an environment where it is nearly impossible for members of the community to take care of themselves and one another. By enabling FetLife to continue espousing a code of silence, allowing the spinning self-created security issues as “attacks,” and not pointing out how disingenuous FetLife statements about safety are, we are allowing our community to become a breeding ground for exploitation.

Why You Should Vote No On Prop 35

Should people who benefit (parents, siblings, children, roommates!) from the earnings of “commercial sex acts” (any sexual conduct connected to the giving or receiving of something of value) be charged with human trafficking? Should someone who creates obscene material that is deemed “deviant” be charged as with human trafficking? Should someone who profits from obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should people transporting obscene materials be charged with human trafficking? Should a person who engages in sex with someone claiming to be above the age of consent or furnishing a fake ID to this effect be charged with human trafficking? What if I told you the sentences for that kind of conviction were eight, 14 or 20 years in prison, a fine not to exceed $500,000, and life as a registered sex offender?

Pretty and Calls Herself a Geek? Attention Whore!

If you are a woman, you might be given a chance to prove yourself in this community. Since there is no standard definition of what a “geek” is and it will vary from one judge to the next anyway, chances of failing are high (cake and grief counseling will be available after the conclusion of the test!). If you somehow manage to succeed, you’ll be tested again and again by anyone who encounters you until you manage to establish yourself like, say, Felicia Day. But even then, you’ll be questioned. As a woman, your whole existence within the geek community will be nothing but a series of tests — if you’re lucky. If you aren’t lucky, you’ll be harassed and threatened and those within the culture will tacitly agree that you deserve it.

Cuddle Chemical? Moral Molecule? Not So Fast

Zak’s original field, it turns out, is economics, a far cry from the hearts and teddy bears we imagine when we consider his nickname. But after performing experiments on generosity, Zak stumbled on the importance of trust in interactions, which led him, rather inevitably, to research about oxytocin. Oxytocin, you might remember, is a hormone that has been linked previously to bonding — between mothers and children primarily, but also between partners. What Zak has done is take the research a step further, arguing in his recent book, The Moral Molecule, that oxytocin plays a role in determining whether we are good or evil.

How to Avoid Pissing off a Stripper

Let’s talk about the strippers. Whether they like to be half-naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on or not, there’s one thing they all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think that taking one’s clothes off for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point (is it a possibility for you to make $500 per hour at your job without a law degree? Just asking). These women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is their job. And as a patron of the establishment where they work, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who provides a service to you.

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Editrix-in-Command:
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In-House Theologian:
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Eros and Desire Scholar:
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Sex and the 405 is what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Here you’ll find news about the latest research being conducted to figure out what drives desire, passion, and other sex habits; reviews of sex toys, porn and other sexy things; coverage of the latest sex-related news that have our mainstream media's panties up in a bunch; human interest pieces about sex and desire; interviews with people who love sex, or hate sex, or work in sex, or work to enable you to have better sex; opinion pieces that relate to sex and society; and the sex-related side of celebrity gossip. More...